ubercharged.net

One day, a few weeks ago, I was in the mood for some procrastination, so I fired up ye olde TF2 and joined the ubercharged server. Unfortunately for me, the server was hosting a low-grav melee-only Zombie Fortress party. Now, I can’t say I enjoy low gravity, melee-only, or Zombie Fortress, let alone a twisted combination of the three, so I left my Vault 101 and ventured out into the wasteland.

And what I saw there was not pretty.

Server 1: Liars

I opened up my favorites list and was sorely disappointed – all my other favorite hangouts, such as the second ubercharged server and the Team Fortress 2 Fort servers, were either completely empty or completely full. I set one of the TF2F servers on auto-join, went AFK for 10 minutes, and returned to find that there still wasn’t a slot free.

So I did the unthinkable – I clicked the “Internet” tab for the first time in months and watched as a list of thousands of servers grew on my screen.

I joined my first server, a 32-player 24/7 Granary place with 19 players onboard. Granary’s one of my favorite maps, because of its open nature and fast gameplay, and regardless, I hadn’t played that map in quite a while.  I sat through the loading screen, hit “Continue”, joined a team…

…and found myself alone in that vast, superficially agro-industrial complex.

It took a second for it to sink in. I had been fooled by a crappy server running a decidedly evil script, giving the player the impression that there were 19 players online, when in reality, there were none. (By the way, the server is run by HL2Land.net – think twice before joining their servers). And for what reason? The losers wanted to push their Gametracker rank up. Undeserving idiots. I ragequit.

Server 2: More liars

I went back to the “Internet” tab and found a Goldrush server (called “The Tempest”) with 23/30 players online. I’m quite averse to 30- and 32-player servers (I’ll shortly mention why), but I thought that I could probably do some spying. I joined and again, was greeted by an empty server.

Again.

Ragequit.

Server 3: Reserved slot fail

Back to the server browser, I navigated to the “friends” tab. I saw a 24-player dustbowl server with 23 players on, so I quickly joined it before that last slot was taken. I checked out my TF2 stats as the game loaded – “Retrieving server info” – “Sending client info”. And then a dialog box popped up. Apparently, I had been “kicked due to slot reservation”. I looked at the server browser again. It still had 23/24 players. Basically, the last slot was set to autokick all but a select few.

Now I was really miffed. I’m somewhat aware of the intricacies of sourcemod, and while I don’t disapprove of reserved slots, I am amazed – no, shocked – by the stupidity of that server’s owner. SourceMod has three methods of handling reserved slots (check out the nitty gritty on the SourceMod wiki), yet the server’s operator had chosen the worst method. Wonderful. Just wonderful. To whoever runs “TrU Servers”, don’t expect me back.

Server 4: The 32-player spamfest

Next up: a 32-player Payload Rotation server.

First off, once I became more active on ubercharged, I pretty much stopped going to 32-player servers. I think it was a pretty good decision on my part. In the nurture of 16- and 24-player servers, my playing skill exponentially improved.

I was joining my first 32-player server in months (and yes, this one actually had players online ), and I could see that I hadn’t missed anything. One word describes a 32-player server: Spam.

After playing for a few minutes, I could feel my TF2 skills slipping away. I hate to say it, but it really doesn’t take much to get kills on such a server. Player density is just way too high – by randomly spamming rockets, grenades, or stickies into an area, it’s completely possible to have the explosion damage someone. There’s always someone there. I think it’s fair to say that random spam does not take skill – yet spam wins the game on a 32-player server. The team that spams best wins. I know this statement is going to piss hundreds of readers off, but 32-player servers don’t reward skill, at least not as much as smaller servers.

I’m putting this in contrast to an occasional hangout of mine, the Team Fortress 2 Fort server(s). Their format is largely competitive – 16 players, competitive maps, no crits, no damage spread, no sandman – consequently, some of TF2’s best competitive players hang out there. The skill level is stratospheric in comparison to your average 32-player spamfest. Getting a kill there takes good aiming and good sense.

It suddenly made sense to me – why my skill exponentially increased after ditching 32-player servers. I just didn’t need to try hard enough. Now, every kill felt hollow, devoid of skill. I strongly prefer having to fight for my kills – extended 1v1 duels are, to me, among the most fun things TF2 has to offer, especially in the context of a game. Small servers offer plenty of that because of low player density. If you try to pull a 1v1 duel on a 32-player server, you’ll be interrupted within ten seconds by someone’s crit-rocket.

But spam aside, the last straw for me came later. Our team won the round and proceeded to slaughter the other team during humiliation. I sent a critrocket toward a pyro and got a direct hit, but the pyro didn’t explode. I sent another over. Then I shovel-bashed the pyro. Nothing worked.

A good chunk of the other team rage-quit the game (what noobs). Although the teams were 11 players to 15, a player on the other team typed !swapme into chat and got switched to ours, making the teams 10-16. Noob. Rage-team-switching speaks to the player’s lack of skill and sportsmanship, but this? That takes noobishness to the next level. Beautiful. Hell, I didn’t even know that you could type !swapme – I had never heard of it before. Maybe it’s because I play on good servers.

You see that icon? The autobalancer may be irritating sometimes, but you should respect it and actually make a stand with your new team. Don’t be like that idiot.

I shortly found out where !swapme came from. A message popped up in the chat box: “Donators get reserved slots, invincibility during humiliation, and much more! Type !donate to see all the benefits!”

That was too much for me. The reserved slots aren’t all that bad if implemented correctly, but invincibility during humiliation? Are they that concerned about their HLStatsX rank? I typed !donate and found a slew of other cheap gimmicks, such as special hats, the aforementioned immunity to the autobalancer, and a different color in the chat box.

That is just ridiculous. I realized immediately that I didn’t need to play TF2 with these idiots. I left the server – again.

Well, I learned a lesson. Once you find some good servers, add them to your favorites and stick with them. Oftentimes, it’s not worth venturing out into the wide world.

Since there seems to be some demand for this, I fired up GCFScape and a few other programs and decided to take another look at the land of TF2’s content. All of the stuff in this article is viewable using GCFScape, VTFEdit and the Source SDK. Again, I’ve decided to start small with this one again.

Found in the content GCF under “resource”

A small fact that not many people know about the source engine is that in most of the early games, the kill icons and other small HUD icons were stored in TTF format, the small format as most fonts, making them usable in word or such. Three fonts were left in from Counter-Strike it seems, under “TFLogo”, “tfd” and “tf”, cementing the whole TF2 was built from the Counter-Strike code thing. As you can see, this is the Counter-Strike logo font and the HUD font, and the final smaller HUD one I left out for space.

// Weapon strings
…
“TF_Weapon_Medikit”        “Medikit”
…
“TF_Weapon_Tranq”        “Tranquilizer Gun”
…
“TF_Weapon_Flag”        “Flag”
…
“TF_Weapon_Watch”        “Invisibility Watch”
…
“TF_Weapon_LunchBox”        “Lunch Box”

…

// Hints

“”Hint_spotted_a_friend”                “You have spotted a teammate!”
“Hint_spotted_an_enemy”                “You have spotted an enemy!”

Found in the content GCF under “resource”

This stuff was found in the big text file TF2 uses to store most of the text you see in-game. The first batch of stuff is what appears to be weapon strings, the first two are left over from development of course. I found the next two things I found interesting; TF2 counts the flag and watch as separate weapons. The Lunch Box is just the sandvich for those going WTF, it’s just got a strange name behind the scenes. The hints cement the whole minimap thing. The text is from notably Counter-Strike’s minimap.

Found in the materials gcf under “materials/Skybox”

At first glance this looks like Badland’s skybox, but it’s not. Badland’s skybox is lighter and is already in the GCF under a different set of files. This is notably under a series of files with “sky_night_*” prefix; It’s not used in any of the current maps, which leads to the conclusion VALVe has some kind of map planned, or was working on one and scrapped it. I’m pretty sure this thing was not here before the Scout update, VALVe keeps messing with my mind.

Found in the content gcf under “models/Tools/camera”

This doesn’t just fall under the “Why would they model this?” category, this falls under the “Why would they model this so well and not use it.” category This thing looks incredibly nice and the texture is pretty high quality. Too bad it’s not used.

Found in the content gcf under “models/flag”

I’m not saying anything about this. Just… yeah…

Found in the content gcf under “models/turret”

These appear to be very early sentry guns. These have animations and everything, but also seem to have a more TFC look .

Found in the materials gcf under “materials/console”

Not even surprised this is here. For those who never played TFC, this is the menu background from that. It was probably a placeholder for the background in development or something.

This just about sums this up. I’ve got a part three of this planned for those who are looking forward too that. There is still a bit of stuff left to show you, but that should be the last part.

/neatstuffthatyoumighthavealreadyknown

Yeh don’t need nottin’ but a bat an’ some bonk.

Props to TrainInMyButt for going through countless trials to bring such gold.

I’ve decided to continue my “Some things you may have missed” post from nearly a year ago, and with any luck, I’ll update it on a monthly/ quarterly basis for the folks who don’t have the time to go searching around for the neat little extras for TF2. Mainly from FPSBanana, but I will be getting in bits and pieces from other TF2 related sites. So with out further ado, lets get going!

Custom Models: Fixed Grenade Launcher

Coming at us from user Ampersand on the FPSBANNA website, comes a fixed grenade launcher custom model for use on servers without sv_pure 1, sv_pure 2 or certain Admin plugins. Many already know this, but in the Beta version of Team Fortress 2, the Demoman had six grenades to spill out. However, they were removed for balance issues. Unfortunately, Valve never updated the Model to show only four grenade slots.

Ampersand has released a fixed version here (as well as fixing the un-moving chambers while reloading), along with the promise to update more models such as fixing the One-handed Sticky Launcher, pipes connecting the Pyro and his Flamethrower and a Beta-Style Rocket launcher with the rocket sticking out. Well worth keeping an eye on.

HLstats:CE Forum Signature Generator

From the user Supernova on the Fester’s Place website, comes a slick looking, ready customisable signature creator for the communities out there with bustling forums and HLstats:CE. The signatures should work with a wealth of other games that support HLstats:CE, but it has only been tested so far on TF2.

The signatures actually fully link up to the players HLstats:CE stats for a nice and clean look with a wealth of random, self changing background pictures and changeable fonts, what you want displayed and much much more. They even update as you play and can feature anything on them from Kills per Death to Total Sandviches eaten to Favorite victim . To download them for your own use, check out the website here for samples and instructions*.

Standard HLStats forum signature:

Supernova’s:

The difference is nothing short of stunning. Supernova has told me that quite a few popular servers a picking this up now so don’t be surprised if you see it around more often. It can also be used on other games, and is customisable for anyone who wants pictures in the sig changed to match the game.

Soon enough there should be more options such as “Favorite enemy” for the person who has killed you the most, or be able to update your own pictures to this so you could have a compile of screenshots from only your personal server’s community!

Definetly very cool addition for those who do care about HLstats more than their official TF2 stats.

*Contact your oft-used server’s admin to link up the server with the new sigs.

32 Player font

Now here is something for everyone, whether or not you play 32 player servers anyway. Again from FPSBanana comes a more condensed font for use on the tab/score screen courtesy of DanTycoon. The font size itself will only change very slightly, if at all, but it will push the names closer together on the list, without any overlaying avatars or names.

Download it from here!

To see the difference, the one on the left is the old font, the one on the right is Dan’s (with obvious self promotions on my “l33t heavy skills” I’m actually terrible).

Maps: cp_observatory4

I typically don’t like showing off maps as there are just so many innovative or interesting ones, we could have a separate blog devoted to them, but this one caught my eye in particular. This map by Icarus is a blend of cp_steel and cp_gravelpit style, with separate caps opening up, but it being very possible to win without all points. The map is built around points A, B and C. Capturing either of the first points will open C for capping, but both A and B give their own different additional bonuses for the Blue team to push forward, as well as extra time to strike.

The map is the perfect size and has just enough nicks and knacks for all classes to be usable. Wide open spaces for Snipers, rocks and high platforms for Scouts, plenty of sneaky places for Backburner Pyros and Spies alike, its got it all. Ending in a giant platform for C that leaves a dramatic finish for both teams. But my undoubtedly favorite thing about this map, is just the level of care and detail gone into it.

Looking around, you will find little tongue-in-cheek jokes like a Spy being put to a James Bond style laser death, a cp_steel-esqe rocket blasting finish or a giant “Yield, right of way” sign facing the Blue team. On top of that, the invisible wall treatment is actually quite lenient, giving clever engineers a piece of the action with well placed sentries and scouts or soldiers plenty of areas to flee to and gain height advantages. It’s a gem, and certainly deserves to be on any map rotation, if even only for a test. You can download it here.

Misc.: Cel shaded TF2 lighting*

A touchy post, but I found it worthy of a look at. If you remember back the old, OLD TF2 trailer lighting schemes were much more solid and blocky. DanielAwesomo added this custom lighting which should work on most servers that brings you pretty close to what TF2 was to have looked like (Player Models only!). I would post screens, but it gives a horrible impression compaired to seeing it in game so I can only recommend you try it in-game to see it yourself. Download it here to see what you think.

*And before you go saying it, no, the current vanilla TF2 is not Cel Shaded.

* * *

That’s all for now then. Catch y’all at a later point in time when some more interesting bits and pieces surface.

You know what really saps my sentry?

The whining teen

When I was starting out TF2, it was one of the first FPS’s that I had played, and so I was very new to the whole idea of being able to speak into a mic to give each other information quickly and to spam music (the latter obviously is the main reason for having a mic).
And the second thing that struck me (the first being the giddy ‘Holy crap holy crap this is sooo awesome’ feeling) was an annoying high pitched American voice complaining about a sniper who was supposedly hacking the game to get headshots by aimbotting (no offense to our American readers).

The person playing sniper happened to be a friend of mine and the one who introduced me to TF2. Admittedly, he was very, very good; he had been playing sniper games and FPS’s on computers since he was about 8, thus his awesomeness was understandable. But the kid just wouldn’t shut up…

It was just a constant torrent of:

• ‘quit cheatin!’
• ’stop it!’
• ‘your so obviously hacking!’
• ‘quit it!’
• ‘now your just targeting me!’
• ’stop picking on me!’
• ‘admin, kick him!’

Being a noobish beginner I had no idea about muting players, so I sat there in silent suffering, waddling around as a heavy getting a staggering and rather depressing 44 deaths to 15 kills. Eventually this admin message showed up in the chat box:

‘If you want this guy to shut up, then please change to scout, wield a baseball bat, jump up and down on the roof [of 2fort] and don’t attack anyone.’

The vote was unanimous, except for the American kid, who was now wailing:

• ‘come on guys!’,
• ‘but he’s cheatin!’,
• ‘I’m just trying to be heard!’,
• ‘Gimme a break!’,
• ‘I promise I’ll be quiet…’,

…and other such pleas, while he ran and picked up the intel in our base and was running back.
Much to the server’s pleasure, he was then kicked (and banned I think), and then there was an epic bat fight on the bridge. I was finally completely happy and starting to get into the fun and excitement of TF2.

…and that’s when my computer died.

Most know that TF2 once was a very different game. The Scout had a nailgun, the visual style was still receiving finishing touches. TF2 was even planned to be a modification using the original Half-Life engine with the subtitle “Brotherhood of Arms” at one point. And it was most likely completed, according to certain information. Three to four revisions of the game were made according to Valve.

TF2, before the Source Engine was even completed.

What most are not aware of, is that quite a bit of old/unused content is still left in the game files for TF2. Most of this content is hidden away in two GCFs, “team fortress 2 content.gcf / team fortress 2 materials.gcf” and are easily viewable with the right tools. Let’s start with the simple stuff first.

Found in the materials gcf under “vgui/gfx/VGUI”

This is a pretty familiar icon. If you don’t recognize it, it’s the Counter Strike: Source logo. Now, I found this with the name “TF_logo”. It’s a simple thing, but it shows that the game is probably partially based around some of Counter Strike: Source’s programming. Or they just used the icon in testing. Who knows, who cares. The next bit of content is more interesting.

Found in the materials gcf under “sprites/minimap_icons”

Now this is neat. If this isn’t obvious I don’t know what is. Seems a minimap feature was planned and scrapped. The resources are here at least.

Found in the content gcf under “models/weapons/w_models”

From left to right. Tranq Gun, Nailgun, Lead Pipe, Syringe, Crowbar, Club, Branding Iron, Beer Stein, Bear Trap, Concussion Nade, EMP, Frag Nade, MIRV Nade, Napalm Nade, Heal Nade, Gas Nade and Nail Nade.

This is one of the more interesting things. Some of these are items seems in the trailers, but some are new. Most importantly of all, this shows Valve was planning TF2 to have grenades like TFC. But of course, all of the above got scraped, and were never even textured.

SOUND: “Stop the Courier!”

Found in the content gcf under “sound/vo”

This is an annoucer sound file, which seems to hint at some game mode that was planned. I’d guess either hunted or the orignal control point mode, where you took a flag to the point instead of capturing after a certain ammount of standing on the point.

Found in the content gcf under “models/props_trainyard”

Now this is one that is a huge hint, or a huge letdown. Obviously, this model is just the bombcart, except RED, hinting at a duel payload. I’m sure most of you remember this image from the scout update.

If you squint close enough at the background, it’s noticable the background isn’t any of the current maps. And even more neat is the two bomb carts if you look even closer. Of course, when the scout update came around, this map was nowhere to be seen, even if someone did make a map based around it some time later.

That’s most of the main unused content hidden away in TF2, there are still some more small things for those who want to look around in there. I might continue this if you want a small followup article. That’s all kids.

/neatstuffthatyoumighthavealreadyknown

When you invite your friends to TF2, you tell them to never be a W+M1 pyro. When they ask why, you say, “You get to grow up to be Huey Lewis.” Here is the same strapping young lad returning with his friend bahbahbah taking on the challenge of 100 reflection kills. It’s quite stunning actually. Enjoy.

Stars Huey Lewis and bahbahbah, and edited by bahbahbah.

Thanks to the immense generosity of The Scoot, ubercharged now has a second TF2 server! Here are the kinky details for you all to enjoy!

The Details

Server name: ubercharged.net | Esteemed Disciples of the Burnt Bread
Server IP: 68.232.163.147:27015 (or just join the bloody thing)
Location: Texas, USA
Player slots: 18

Features

• Critical hits vote: at the beginning of each map, choose whether to enable or disable critical hits!
• Admins watching your every move!
• SourceTV: just in case the admins watching your every move wasn’t enough! The IP is 68.232.163.147:27020! Or just join the bloody thing!
• Ubercharged parties and things from time to time!
• Pick-up games!
• Forum discussion!
• Fun with the ubercharged community!
• Cancer-curing properties!

Once again, kudos to The Scoot for his amazing generosity. Kids, be like him when you grow up.

Final reminder: if you enjoy reading Ubercharged or playing on the servers, feel free to add the tag (UC) to your in-game handle. And if anyone asks, point them this way

He stared calmly at the clock in the corner, smoked his cigarette and placed his hand in his right pocket. 8:30. 2 minutes left. Out of his right pocket he pulled out a 6 shot revolver. 1 minute left. He stood up went outside and into the cheering crowds. Despite his openly visible gun and suspicious look he fit right in. In fact the only thing hiding him from the crowds was a small paper mask. In his youth he accidentally discovered this small piece of technology allowing him to take the form of anyone he wished. Provided, of course, that he had seen and studied them first. A master of voices and disguise he dined at the finest restaurants, appeared at the finest parties and once even commanded an army.

He was always moving when he was little. His first parents were found dead with knives in their backs. His next had died due to an “electrical fault” in their house and more of his parents died in unfortunate “accidents”. The orphanage he was in was burnt down and since then he has had a fear of fire. At around 15 years old he created his paper masks and the “sapper”, the reason for the death of his second parents. He soon took to the streets gaining employment from crooks to perform little jobs such as sabotage and occasionally murder. This taught him all about being secretive and quiet as he grew up. Some said that he’d be the perfect spy…

He took his gun and aimed at the passing car. The shot rang out and the crowds fled in fear and terror. Before anyone had known what had happened he was already getting in his car, a Rolls-Royce Phantom V. Something was different though. Someone had been in this car while he was away. Curious he looked in the glove compartment for his butterfly knife. Instead of finding the handle his hand fell on a small package. He took out the package and examined the front. It had the emblem of one of the two world’s most powerful corporations: Reliable Excavation Demolitions. As confusing as this was he knew that he wouldn’t get answers just by staring at it and opened the package. Inside were a few sheets of paper, a pen, a letter, and some kind of contract. The letter, being the most likely item inside to reveal to him this mystery, he took that out first.

“Well done.

We have been monitoring your activities for quite some time now. No doubt you are sneaky. On almost every occasion we have tried to inspect you you have managed to escape us. As you might have guessed we are interested in certain skills you have. Those seemingly simple paper masks are an ingenious invention of yours. However we have not written this just to flatter you. We have written this as an offer for your employment. Taking this job offer is almost certainly a must as things could become quite difficult for you should you decline. Inside this package are further details on what tasks you will be undertaking and the contract employing you to us. We expect the form to be on my desk on Tuesday 12th. If not then serious consequences may occur.

Best regards: Reliable Excavation Demolitions.”

What had come out of this letter confused him even more before he started reading. Unfortunately this seemed more like an order than a proposal. He reached back inside the package and took out a few documents. Most of them didn’t seem to be what his job was but what other peoples were. In fact on closer inspection there was details on a quite a few. 5 it seemed at the very least. On one there was a picture of very young boy, most likely American, wielding a baseball bat. On another there was a picture of a rather giant monstrosity of a man wielding a minigun. Each one described not only their job, names and age but their interests, their family, their friends, their nationalities and their weight and height. He was amazed. What did strike him as odd though was that these people were not from Reliable Excavation Demolitions but from Builders League United, the second of the two most powerful corporations.

Eventually after reading through the documents he came to the contract. On it was details of his job, A few questions and the dotted line on which he was to sign his name. He looked long and hard at this as his mind racked over his decision. Finally he came to a conclusion and his name went down on the dotted line. The moment he took the pen away, however, the car started filling with a gas of some sort. He attempted to escape but the doors were locked on him. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed was a middle aged woman dressed in red heading towards the car with a black man on her right holding a bundle of dynamite and what looked like an Australian on her left.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.

At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.

“This porridge is too hot!” she exclaimed.

So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

“This porridge is too cold,” she said

So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.

“Ahhh, this porridge is just right,” she said happily and she ate it all up.

After she’d eaten the three bears’ breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.

“This chair is too big!” she exclaimed.

So she sat in the second chair.

“This chair is too big, too!” she whined.

So she tried the last and smallest chair.

“Ahhh, this chair is just right,” she sighed. But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!

Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep.

When she awoke, she decided to go on the three bears’ computer.  There she found one of her favorite games, Team Fortress 2, downloaded and ready to play.  She sat down and brought up the list of servers.

She quickly joined a game of 32 players (with instant respawn,)  and repeatedly ran out of the spawn room spamming grenades.  Someone was playing heavy metal music over their headset, but no one spoke.  Messages were being typed, but most of them were variations of the phrase “lulz i pwn teh n00bs, i haz teh skil.”

Soon, Goldilock’s team captured the first point on Dustbowl, but there was no chance that the second would ever be captured.  Goldilocks sighed.

“This size has no teamwork!” she said, and disconnected from the server.

Next she found a game with 11/12 players.  What luck!  She clicked on it and was catapulted into an intense game of Granary.  She used her exceptional Medic proficiency to help her team win the first round.  They talked constantly, communicating everything of importance.  It was magical.

Then Goldilocks began to try the other classes.  As a Soldier, Demoman, and Scout, she was an asset to the team and they won over and over again.  Next, she tried the remaining classes and realized they were highly situational.

As a Spy, she was spotted immediately.  As a Heavy, she was left far behind.  As a Pyro, she was blown to bits.  As a Sniper, she lasted a while, until someone popped an Uber.  Then she tried to defend as an Engineer, and found she was useless.

“This size is too limiting!” she exclaimed, and disconnected from the server.

Next she found a server with a maximum of 24 players, and for a few hours, she was happy.  All the classes had their niche and it was possible to organize the efforts of the team.

Sometimes, in the back of her mind, she would notice that her death didn’t matter so much.  She wasn’t important, and she could fade into the background if she wanted to.

Soon, she began to see other things.  On some non-symmetrical maps, it was difficult or even impossible to play the Spy or the Scout.

To achieve victory, an offensive team needed two Medics, and a defensive team needed two Engineers.  Classes that could do damage to multiple players, like the Demoman and the Pyro, were far too useful or overpowered.

“This size is too unbalanced!” she cried, and she disconnected from the server.

Now she was at a loss.  What could she do?  She had tried the three standards, but none of them were quite right.  The 12 players had been good, and so had the 24 players.  But neither was what she was looking for.  These two sizes did not make themselves different enough from other games.

And then an idea popped into her head.  How smart Valve had been to create nine classes!  Halfway between 6v6 and 12v12 was 9v9.  Goldilocks searched the server list once more and found an 18 player match.

“This size is just right,” she said, and she lived happily ever after.

This article is the child of the comments section on my last post.  The reactions to the previous one were interesting enough that I thought an additional article was necessary.

I know I only play on the Xbox, but I can certainly imagine what Goldilocks is going through based on the general sentiments of the Team Fortress 2 PC community and my own logical thought process.   Aside from that, I have tried at least one round of each of these match sizes at a friend’s house, which in my opinion, is enough to intelligently judge upon them, at least to the extent which I do.

It really is a matter of preference which match size you end up enjoying the most.  My personal favorite is 8v8, but if I had the option, it would definitely be 9v9.  It would allow all the classes to be played on both teams without forcing one class to be used twice, thus creating a situation in which all the checks and balances of Team Fortress 2 can really shine.

Also, I have a theory that the unlockables have stemmed mostly from problems encountered in the PC community’s favorite match size: 12v12.  In 8v8, these problems do not exist.  For example, the Heavy does not require a Medic to be effective, the Medic usually lives longer so they almost always get their reward (the Ubercharge, if that wasn’t clear, negating the need for a more immediate and frequent reward, the Kritzkrieg), and the Scout is still highly useful offensively on Attack/Defend maps like Dustbowl.

It will be interesting to see how these transfer onto a console whose most popluar match size is 8v8.  Hope it goes well.