SpongeTeam FortressPants

What happens when you mix Team Fortress 2 (awesomeness) with SpongeBob SquarePants (utter brilliance)?

This emerges. It’s better than the sum of its parts. Sorry if you’ve seen it already.

I probably should add that it should be considered unsuitable for work – unless you want to explain to your co-workers why there’s orange juice up your nose.

Bonus: if that wasn’t good enough for you, there’s more! If you were wondering where the pyro was this whole time, you’re in luck.

TF2 Updates That 99.5% of People Can’t POSSIBLY Complain About

Let’s face it; every TF2 update, at one point or another, as part of a pack or not, small, big, king size, announced or unannounced, kept or removed, has met with some dissatisfaction (or just plain bitchiness) by someone or another. Every pack that has been announced has met it’s quote-unquote criticisms (amongst praise, of course, but I’m not getting into that today), whether it has been the Pyro packs (”OMFG NERF NAO PYRO OP”),  the Heavy packs (”Why should I use Natascha”), the Scout packs (”OMG SANDMAN OP”), or the Sniper packs “That’s not teh way to ply snipar omg OP!”

They should call you whiners, Dr NoooOOOO!

They should call you whiners, Dr NoooOOOO!

You have it, I have it. I’m still a little bitter about the nerfed (and disguised) backstab hitbox, but welcome the tightening of the minigun (although I’m probably killed more by it than I use it). The Demoman has been nerfed multiple times, something I don’t disagree to, but which some might. The Engineer has been buffed, which I thought was a great idea (balanced, too), but which some took (instant) distaste to.

Regardless, whether or not the claims are valid, I struck inspiration. And I asked myself; what updates could Valve bring out that nobody could possibly complain about? And I thought up some. (Of course, there are still going to be whiners for nothing other than the fact that they want attention, but I won’t get into the scientific details)

A Sapper Taunt

This one’s been bugging me a little (only a little) for a while; why CAN’T the sapper have it’s own taunt animation? There’s no reason not to, really, unless maybe Valve can’t think up anything or are being a little lazy with it. I can imagine the spy pressing a few buttons or examining the device, perhaps even spinning the device on a finger.

Okay, maybe the sapper isn’t a weapon in the traditional sense because it only attacks buildings. But neither is the Medigun or the Disguise Kit, so why not? This one I’d like to see, Valve, in a possible update. Just another way for the Spy to be awesome.

Beep boop beep

Beep boop beep

And throw in a taunt for the Engineers PDAs while you’re at it.

New Maps

Oh wait, we’ve had a ton of complaining about that too.

Awesome map. Play it.

Awesome map. Play it. pl_cranetop.

But actually, I don’t think complaints about new maps are valid for the most part. Why? For the simple fact that you don’t bloody HAVE to play them. And let me establish this first: (constructive) criticism != complaining.

I’m all for criticism of new maps, community or Valve-created, possibly to improve upon them and/or make them more fun to play. This is acceptable, but it’s simply not possible, should Valve suddenly decide to release a map today alone, to say that “Map X has ruined TF2.” If you don’t like it, nobody’s stopping you from going back to 2fort.

Being a huge custom map junkie (and having his main server be a primarily custom based one), I know that the community has the ability to make some terrific levels. Valve has hand-picked some of these and added it to the list because they believed they were worth playing, and on-par with anything they might create. I enjoyed Egypt and Junction before they were made official, but some “don’t”. Afraid of new things, maybe. Most people don’t complain about new maps, but a select few that I’ve met do. All I can say is, if you like Badwater better, you can always go play Badwater. It’s a good map.

Of course, changes to current maps are something you COULD be unhappy with, but that’s another topic.

Removal of 2fort

Bet that got your attention, huh?

Naw, I’m kidding. I’m not that harsh. It’d be stupid of me to diss people who diss maps and then diss a map myself when I can just not play it.

Yep, that guy

Well, I don’t. But I do occasion the Tempest 24/7 2fort #2, mostly to do this. And grief the snipers in other ways, because they deserve it.

Alternate Animations

The next carriage on my thought train while thinking up the sapper animation. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was an extra button that allowed you to perform a different taunt for each weapon? Sure, it’s a bit of work, but Valve employees are pretty hardworking (if slow and fussy).

I'm an equal opportunity ass-kicker!

I'm an equal opportunity ass-kicker!

This would be separate from the new weapon taunts (specifically, the KGB and Sandman ones). You’d press something like “h,” and instead of slapping his thigh, the Scout would cock his weapon and pose. Or instead of cleaning his suit, the Spy would spin/juggle his revolver. Or, instead of playing air guitar, the Pyro could hold his axe, draw a line in the dirt with his foot, and flick his finger in a “come get me” styled taunt.

Revolver Ocelot

Revolver Ocelot

If you can somehow go over “g” to accidentally press “h,” then it’s not something to complain to Valve about, like how your Pentium III can’t run TF2. I can see a problem if people use a custom bind setup, but hey, if you do, you can always rebind taunt #2 to a different key, or remove it altogether. If you’re that boring.

I'm a firestarter

I'm a firestarter

Backstab Hitbox Fix
After playing the Spy for a while, I found that my initial optimism was somewhat premature. The range of the knife’s hitbox had been, to quote TF2wiki, greatly reduced. And to be honest, I’m quite thankful for the return of sidestabs. It doesn’t change the fact that my range is still short, though.

Most Spies I’m sure will be happy to have the old animation back if it means they can have their old range back too. I can’t count the number of times where I expected a stab to register but it didn’t. Consequently, I remain convinced that facestabs and failstabs have BOTH increased a substantial amount. (Yes, that’s me in that vid. I love the irony in the instant “YOU FAIL” by the announcer).

And honestly, if it did make a return, how many could whine? I mean, how did you live with the Spy before that, then?

This is often me

This is often me.

So that concludes this article. Let me know what you think. I’m especially interested in having alternate taunts, really, because it would spice up the character and charm of TF2. As a final note, if anyone has any suggestions for more (I currently don’t have any), I may make a Part II. Don’t worry, I’ll credit you. =3

The Bitter War: Pyros Vs. Spectators

For many a year, the Pyros and Spectators had an uneasy truce. They each had their reasons for hating the other.

The Pyro clan could not stand the way Spectators were invisible, like spies.

Spectators were angered by how versatile a pyro was, which would intrude on other classes’ abilities.

The strife only grew as time went on. Specs began making faces at the pyro they would follow (Despite the inability of anyone to see it), and in return, pyros would spam flame, forcing the spectators to turn down their settings.

Then Came the Update.

The Pyros, armed with new weapons and 50 more health, declared war on the Spectators in the only battlefield that could support this massive war: Insta-spawn.

Note: This is a re-creation of the war. To be used for educational purposes only.

Spectators fled for their lives, unable to combat the new pyro scourge that was wiping out their population faster than anything they have seen before. They quickly found solace in the protection of wary server admins, who cut a deal with the pyro leaders. They would give up the war against Spectators, as long as any pyro could move an annoying Spectator away by using the airblast. The spectators were still unhappy. And after many years in development, it was finally finished.

Project Cocoon

In short: Spectators had developed “Shells” of TF2 classes that were immune to flame, and did not have the Friendly-Fire protection system built in. It was time for revenge, on the same ground they had once been persecuted upon.

This is one of many videos shown by the Spectators at this time to scare off other classes. Still, their main goal was the pyro.

The reign of terror ended once the pyros were able to figure out that the Spectators were simply hiding in shells that could be broken open with the axe or shotgun. Many thousands of Pyros had died during Project Cocoon, and many leading pyro scholars have declared it “Thh wrrtht hvhnt tr hvhr rccur tr thh pr-ro phrplh.”

Today:

They have once again reached a truce on common ground. Sure, there are small pockets of Pyros who believe that spectators are still out to get them, but their actions only amount to a couple of airblasted spectators. And, every couple of months, there’s a story in the news about how some Project Cocoon scientists are trying to remove the pyro infestation. However, all of this amounts to nothing compared to the new threat:

Nemesis Teleporters.

(And for all you guys wondering about the poems: Sorry about it, as soon as the server gets settled I’ll get working)

Self-sacrifice is credit to team!

Most of the veteran Team Fortress 2 players miss the “Good old days.” The days without unlocks, the days without the Demoman nerfs, and soon, the days before hats. I’m by no means a veteran TF2 player, but I’m already missing those days. Specifically, one part of those days in particular.

I miss the lack of Medics

That’s right. I miss the days where I sometimes toyed with the idea of changing my name to “The Lone Medic.” In those days, I had to heal the entire team. It was crazy and hectic, but I loved it. I loved popping that Uber and watching my team swarm after me and my glowing pet Heavy. It was stressful, but it was the kind of stress that makes you a better person. Back in those days, I was topping scoreboards all over the server, but the real reward was the little “Thanks” voice command my grateful patients would always flash when I healed them.

All right, that was a complete lie. I liked the points more because they made me feel competent.

Of course, I couldn’t heal everyone. There was always the annoying flaming Scout who ran around me faster then I could get a lock on him. There was always the wounded Heavy who fell to a crit rocket. I wasn’t the Ubermensch, but I was alright.

But then something happened to a good friend of mine a few weeks ago. She got sick, very sick. The doctors said she might not make it. It was up to me to save her, even if it meant I had to give up ze Healing, ze Hurting, and hang up the Medigun for a Wrench or a Sandvich.

Team Balance got sick

It’s pretty common these days for me to hop on a server and find myself on a team of eight (including me) with two Spies, a Sniper, a Medic, two Scouts, and a Soldier. This is a problem for a career Medic like me. The only suitable healing target is being monopolized by the other Medic. This is the least of my team’s problems, however. And did I mention that the Spies are terrible and we’re supposed to defend Steel with this team makeup?

So I go Engineer, because a defending team needs at least one. I won’t be as effective as I would with a Medic, but hey, Engineer is credit is to team, right?

Oh wait, there’s a Spy on the other team, and he’s actually really good. Ten minutes into this steamroll, I quit.

It’s how most of my games are turning out these days, so I have a request—no, a plea. It’s to all the Team Fortress 2 players out there. When you join a team, please look at the other classes on your team and choose the class that your team doesn’t have. Even if you don’t like the class you’ll have to play. Being a Sniper can be fun, but sometimes you have to pick up that Rocket Launcher and take your Uber like a man, and who knows, you just might discover a new love for the class you play. Save the all-Sniper teams for shenanigan night, and everyone will thank you.

The future of TF2 revealed

Light the bonfires! Bring on the dancing girls! Serve the wine, for we have answers at last! Robin Walker has crawled out of his cave – the elusive programmer/designer recently gave Shacknews the scoop on the new TF2 updates. What does it all mean? Check it out on Shacknews, or just read on for the interesting parts.

Shack: Will these items carry bonuses that impact gameplay?

Robin Walker: Right now they’re all cosmetic only, but it’s obviously more interesting if they become more than that, so we’re still thinking about that. Shipping them without gameplay changes seems like a good way to tackle the first problem, which is to ensure we don’t break our silhouette based class identification. It also starts us on another path that we’re interested in, which is allowing players to have some control over their appearance.

Pipe down, you guys! Team Fortress 2 is a class-based shooter, not an RPG. In spite of all the grief you give Valve, you’ve stuck with their games for more than a decade. Obviously, they’re doing something right. To be honest, I’m quite looking forward to seeing where this will go – the idea of a Demoman with an Afro is way too tempting for me.

See? Told you it’s awesome. (Props to Hain for the picture! Check out “The Barbershop” for some other awesome hairdos).

Shack: Some users are concerned that you can permanently delete hard-won items from your backpack. Should they be? How is that system intended to work?

Robin Walker: Not really. We put in some strong wording in the update to discourage them from doing it for now, but as soon as the next update ships they’ll be able to find any item, including ones they’ve deleted in the past. The reason we shipped it in the last update, even though there was no real reason at all to use it, was to get some real world testing. So thanks to the 270 people who went ahead and deleted items! In addition, it gave our support team some warmup practice in handling the inevitable customer issues resulting from this kind of system.

You were one of those 270 idiots? Well, Valve bailed you out this time. Don’t expect them to in the future. Now start groveling at their feet.

Robin Walker: We plan to do more than just cosmetic items, but we like to go one step at a time to be able to measure the effect of each change, both on the game and on the community.

This is perhaps the most exciting (or worrisome) part of the interview. The game we know and love is going to change. However, even if this ends up happening, progress will be slow. The game won’t instantly change, which is great (historically, radical gameplay changes usually have not gone down well – see the backburner and the Sandman for examples). Taking time with these updates will help ease the community into the new changes, and hopefully will decrease the amount of Steam-Powered Forum cribbing.

On second thought, I take that back. The Steam forums will never see the end of complaining. It’s just the way it is. Moving on.

Shack: Will the backpack/head items be part of a separate game mode, or is this going to be patched into TF2 proper?

Robin Walker: It’ll be in TF2 proper. The primary change here is simply the decoupling of achievements and unlockables, which is the source of most of the negative feedback we’ve received around previous class packs. The head-slot items are all cosmetic at this point, so they haven’t resulted in any significant balance issues in any of our existing game modes.

This is probably the best news in the interview. While I have no objection to the presence of unlockable items, I am quite opposed to coupling achievements to unlockables. Achievement farming servers were created in response to this, and I, for one, hate them to no end. I’m glad to see that the days of farming and having screwed up stats are coming to an end. I’m proud of you, Valve. You have delivered again.

Shack: Are there plans for any kind of “vanilla” game mode to filter out the new items for players that just want to play a quick match of the core game?

Robin Walker: Almost all the requests we’ve received in this area have come from competitive players. While we don’t think this update adds any new issues for competitive play, we are aware of the desire for leagues to control what their players are using, so we’re thinking about how we can help them do that. Still, we’re optimistic as ever. We believe that the more interesting & viable choices available to competitive players, the more depth there is for them to use to their advantage. It’d be a shame if they’re prevented from exploring the strategic possibilities that the new items add.

Valve has listened to you, n00bie51. It’s quite nice to see that the demands of the competitive community are being met. At the same time, Walker brings up a good point. Some of the items (especially the Kritzkrieg) brought up some great strategic choices for competitive players. While I sympathize strongly with the competitive community (as evidenced by my dislike of random crits and damage spread), I’m quite excited to see whether the new updates will bring some new strategic choices in. Most games are improved with a good dose of strategy, and TF2 is no exception.

But wait, what about World of Warcraft?

TF2 is going to be an MMO!

OK, enough with the miscellany. Guess what’s in the Team Fortress 2 GCF?

// TF2 MMO
“TF_MMO_LFG” “Looking For Group”
“TF_MMO_Quest1″ “You must kill %s1 %s2 to complete this quest.”
“TF_MMO_Monster1″ “Boars”
“TF_MMO_Monster2″ “Rats”
“TF_MMO_Monster3″ “Bats”
“TF_MMO_Monster4″ “Wolves”
“TF_MMO_Monster5″ “Spiders”   (via SPUF)

Ah, this is why we love Valve. Keep up the good work.

Cuddle Pyro

In an attempt to cut down the amount of Comment Flame Wars that have been going around, I, Paper Shadow, wish to show you someone I met on the internet very recently. His/Her name is Cuddle Pyro, and I think he/she is a proper badass, just like myself.

A quote from the above link:

Welcome to Cuddle-Pyro’s page! Here you will be able to view a fine collection of photos featuring everyone’s favorite sock pyro! Cuddle Pyro’s daily activities, travels, and adventures shall all be documented and posted here your your viewing pleasure!

I’m not sure who is the genius behind Cuddle Pyro, but I think that he/she has created something awesome. The first picture was uploaded on January 10th 2009, and the latest on April 2nd, so it is fairly recent. Since then, the Cuddle Pyro has been joined by the Cuddle Soldier, with the Medic and Spy coming very soon. I forgot how I found this; I think it was a random Google Image search for something relating to Pyros, when I saw this:

So thank you, Cuddle Pyro, you have touched our hearts with awesomeness.

/lazyarticle

W+M2: Hot Air

What happens when you get a bunch of unconventional Pyros together and give them Fraps and an empty server? A tutorial of how they do it! This is a video by Gamefr34k on the intricacies of Pyro and how to use the compression blast in everyday megalomaniac industry fighting, from blasting people off cliffs to CB-jumping. At 25 minutes, this is a sit-down, but one well worth it.

For a higher-quality version, visit Gamerfr34k’s website.

Players:
Magnetro/Gamerfr34k
Don Newman
Aztech
{TF2F} Rizz
Huey Lewis
Peterson!
Taraph75
Jammar
Geoff

Now you have NO excuse to be W+M1 cause it’s too hard otherwise.

37 Comments »

TPMX on April 25th 2009 in how to, team fortress 2

Awareness

Alright everyone, time for a tactical pop quiz. You’re playing a RED Scout using all the unlockables. You’ve just used Bonk! to run past a sentry and get into the sniper deck to the right of the main tunnel on Gold Rush stage one. You’re dismayed to find no Snipers, only a rather unobservant Heavy, made complacent by the server’s general lack of Spies. Do you shoot him with the Force A Nature? Try to stun him with the Sandman? Or just run past the dozy git and jump out the window to wait for some actual snipers to show up?

D)None of the above.

I know what you’re saying “Oh, that’s not a tactical decision, you just did it because it was funny.” and while there is some merit in that, it WAS a tactical choice. If I’d blasted a couple of FaN shells into the Heavy, he would have turned around and introduced me to Sasha’s $200 shells in an uncomfortably intimate far before I could have managed to fumble more of my five dollar ammo into my own weapon, and then I’d have died doing nothing more than a few damage, easily healed by the downstairs healthpack less than a hundred feet away. Not really a worthwhile sacrifice. The little pieces of a circle pointing in the direction of where you’re being shot from means that as soon as you shoot someone, they’re going to know about it. Even without them, a sudden HP drop and loud cracks would probably make the Heavy turn around.

There’s three basic points on the combat timeline. The first is when you see an enemy and decide they’re going to die, the third is when they (or you) die (or escape), and the second, crucial point is when they figure out your nefarious plan to kill them and decide that they’d rather it was you who got kicked back into the respawn room (or that they’d rather be somewhere else before you get a chance to murder them). This instant awareness to being attacked and rough location of the attacker means that soon as you shoot someone, the second point is reached and they start fighting back.

So if you’re sneaking up on someone, your goal is to make the time between the second and third points as small as humanly possible, but you’re safe between the first and second as long as you don’t get unlucky and they happen to turn and see you.

One unsung advantage of (most) killtaunts is their silence. The Heavy and Scout killtaunts make no noise until you hit- the Scout’s make no sound at all if you miss(although if you’re under the effect of Bonk! he’ll yell his head off about being untouchable and demand that people look at him). Because of this, as long as you’re out of a player’s rather narrow frame of vision, they won’t know you’re there until they’re already dead. It may take a while from the start, so if they turn or move you’re in trouble, but during this time so long as they’re distracted by a big battle or something that they’re guarding, you’ll give them no hints that you’re there.

So unless a teammate comes along to save you, or you luck out and happen to turn, enjoy your makeshift back stab, courtesy of the Scout.


by BlackHarpyGoddess

How to be a Force of Nature

Alright, let me start out by saying I think the Force ‘A Nature is the best unlockable VALVe has put into Team Fortress 2 thus far.

Hold on now, I don’t mean best in the way you think. I don’t think that the FaN is superior to the other unlockables. Rather, I think it comes close to what VALVe intends the unlockables to be. This has been said about the Scout Update in general, but I don’t believe that. I think the FaN is really the only good unlockable in the entire update, for the following reason:

It is stupid to play Scout normally with the FaN

I say “stupid,” because it’s not impossible to do it, just really dumb.

Now, let’s clarify what I mean by “normally.” I mean the style of Scout you see so often: charge in, Scattergun blaring, and relying on your speed and erratic jumping to keep you alive until you kill everything. Not that this is the best way to play the Scout, in fact, I’ve played against Scouts whose MO are to get behind enemy lines and use the Bat for quick kills, but it’s the easiest way to play Scout, because the Scattergun has a very quick reload time.

This playstyle is sometimes called the “Ninja Scout” by the criminally dorky.

The FaN doesn’t have that

In fact, the Force A’ Nature is the antithesis of the Scattergun. Low clip size, slow reloading – if you play the “normal” Scout with the FaN, you will get one shot off, double jump and fire in the air, and the FaN will knock you into a wall, where you’ll be hit by a Rocket, bullets, or two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges while you reload at a snail’s pace.

However, people don’t seem to realize this, and play “normal” Scout with the FaN, with mediocre results. I can’t count how many Scouts I’ve killed who were reloading with the FaN, and remember, I’m a career Medic.

You can still play normally with the other class unlockables

For example, if you play Pyro with the backburner, you don’t have to be an ambusher, you can still charge in from cover and burn people without the airblast, while getting a lucky crit or two when they run. With Natasha, you can still be an offensive Heavy, the slowing ability will help prevent enemies from escaping. Finally, with the Blutsauger… No, that’s another article.

So what is the FaN suited for?

I don’t play a lot of Scout. My Steam stats will tell you it’s my third most played class, but that’s from the Scout update, trying to find an achievement server that wasn’t full of morons or griefers.

However, I can see what kind of pay style the FaN could work for. When you look at Scout tutorials, there’s always a little mention of the Scout being good for hit-and-run attacks. The Force A’ Nature can be maximize the effects of this playstyle.

This kind of playstyle works either on Offense or Defense. The object of this playstyle is to hop in front of a group of enemies, unload both Force A’ Nature shots, and retreat to reload and perhaps grab a health pack if you took a lot of damage, then try again. Try to focus both shots on a single target for maximum damage. It’s not wise to try this around sentry nests, but if you can find a place to get the shots off where a sentry can’t kill you, you’re good.

This playstyle has two main aims.

To Kill and Distract

If you keep jumping in, doing a little bit of damage, and jumping back out, one or more of your targets will eventually get fed up and come after you. This is good, you want this. If your enemies are trying to kill you, it means they’re not trying to do whatever they should be doing. If someone comes after you, you can either run away or kill them. I recommend doing whichever one takes up the most time.

Strangely, this is a team-oriented playstyle. You’re not going to get a lot of kills using this method, and you’re not trying to. As I said earlier, you’re trying to draw your enemy’s attention away from the objective of the map and onto you. You’re aiming to do just enough damage so that your target has to seek out a health pack or find a dispenser. If you’re on defense, you’re trying to waste the attacker’s time. If you’re on offense, you’re trying to keep the defenders occupied long enough for your team to build up an Ubercharge. You won’t get the highest score, but your team members will thank you.

Don’t get a big head though, you’re still last in line for the teleporter.

A Look at TF2’s Soon to Be Used Content; Part 2.5

A quick look at the GCFs again for the 3rd article in my unused content after the recent update involving the backpack brought me this huge nugget of info hidden in tf_english.txt in the Content GCFs. Noticeably involving the “new system” for weapons.

The Backpack hides a few secrets.

//—————————————————————————————-
// Items
“TF_Open_Charinfo”            ”Open Character Loadout”

“Item”                ”Item”
“SelectedItemNumber”        ”#%selecteditem%”
“NewItemsAcquired”        ”%numitems% NEW ITEMS ACQUIRED!”
“NewItemAcquired”        ”NEW ITEM ACQUIRED!”
“NextItem”                ”VIEW\nNEXT >”
“PreviousItem”            ”VIEW\n< PREV”
“CloseItemPanel”        ”OK, RESUME GAME”
“ChangeLoadout”            ”EQUIP THIS ITEM NOW…”

“CharInfoAndSetup”        ”CHARACTER INFO AND SETUP”
“Loadout”                ”LOADOUT”
“Stats”                    ”STATS”
“Achievements”            ”ACHIEVEMENTS”

“CharacterLoadout”        ”CHARACTER LOADOUT”
“SelectClassLoadout”    ”SELECT A CLASS TO MODIFY LOADOUT”
“NoSteamNoItems”        ”LOADOUT NOT AVAILABLE – COULD NOT CONNECT TO STEAM”
“LoadoutChangesUpdate”    ”NOTE: LOADOUT CHANGES WILL TAKE EFFECT ON RESPAWN.”
“EquipYourClass”        ”EQUIP YOUR %loadoutclass%”
“Equip”                    ”EQUIP”
“Keep”                    ”KEEP”
“ClassBeingEquipped”    ”%loadoutclass%”
“ChangeButton”            ”CHANGE…”
“DoneButton”            ”DONE!”
“EquipSelectedWeapon”    ”EQUIP SELECTED WEAPON”
“ItemSel_PRIMARY”        ”- PRIMARY WEAPON”
“ItemSel_SECONDARY”        ”- SECONDARY WEAPON”
“ItemSel_MELEE”            ”- MELEE WEAPON”
“ItemSel_PDA”            ”- PDA”
“ItemSel_ITEM1″            ”- ACCESSORY”
“ItemSel_HEAD”            ”- HEADWEAR”
“TF_BackCarat”            ”<< BACK”
“TF_CancelCarat”        ”<< CANCEL”
“TF_BackToMainMenu”        ”<< BACK TO MAIN MENU”
“TF_ResumeGame”            ”<< RESUME GAME”
“InventoryCountOne”        ”(1 OTHER IN INVENTORY)”
“InventoryCountMany”    ”(%s1 OTHERS IN INVENTORY)”

“CurrentlyEquipped”        ”CURRENTLY EQUIPPED:”
“CurrentlyEquippedCarat”    ”CURRENTLY EQUIPPED >”
“ItemsFoundShort”        ”(%s1 ITEMS IN INVENTORY)”
“ItemsFoundShortOne”    ”(ONE ITEM IN INVENTORY)”
“NoItemsExistShort”        ”(NO ITEMS EXIST YET)”
“NoItemsExistLong”        ”(NO SPECIAL ITEMS FOR %loadoutclass% EXIST YET.)”
“NoItemsFoundShort”        ”(NO ITEMS FOUND YET)”
“NoItemsFoundLong”        ”(NO SPECIAL ITEMS FOR %loadoutclass% HAVE BEEN ACQUIRED YET.)”
“NoItemsAvailableTitle”    ”AVAILABLE:”
“NoItemsAvailableTitle2″ “BASE INVENTORY ONLY.”
“ItemAcquireReason_Achievement” “ACHIEVEMENT EARNED”
“NoItemsToEquip”        ”YOU HAVE NO ITEMS FOR THIS LOADOUT SLOT”
“SelectNoItemSlot”        ”Empty”
“BackpackTitle”            ”BACKPACK”
“X_DeleteItem”            ”X DELETE”
“X_DiscardItem”            ”X DISCARD”
“DeleteItemConfirmTitle”    ”ARE YOU SURE?”
“DeleteItemConfirmText”        ”Deleting this item will permanently destroy it. This cannot be undone.”
“X_DeleteItemConfirmButton”    ”X YEAH, DELETE IT”
“Backpack_Delete_Item”    ”BACKPACK – DELETE ITEM”
“DiscardExplanation”    ”You picked up this item but you don’t have room for it in your pack.”
“DiscardExplanation2″    ”Delete an item below to make room or press discard to throw your new item away.”
“Discarded”                ”DISCARDED!”

“LoadoutSlot_Primary”    ”Primary weapon”
“LoadoutSlot_Secondary”    ”Secondary weapon”
“LoadoutSlot_Melee”        ”Melee weapon”
“LoadoutSlot_Grenade”    ”Grenade”
“LoadoutSlot_Building”    ”Building”
“LoadoutSlot_pda”        ”Primary PDA”
“LoadoutSlot_pda2″        ”Secondary PDA”

“LoadoutSlot_Head”        ”Head”

“ItemTypeDesc”            ”Level %s1 %s2″        // s1 is the level number, s2 is the item type. Example: “Level 4 Medigun”
“of”                    ”of”

// Attribute descriptions
“Attrib_ClipSize_Positive”            ”+%s1% Clip size”
“Attrib_ClipSize_Negative”            ”%s1% Clip size”
“Attrib_UberchargeRate_Positive”    ”+%s1% ÜberCharge rate”
“Attrib_UberchargeRate_Negative”    ”%s1% ÜberCharge rate”
“Attrib_DamageDone_Positive”        ”+%s1% Damage done”
“Attrib_DamageDone_Negative”        ”%s1% Damage done”
“Attrib_HealRate_Positive”            ”+%s1% Heal rate”
“Attrib_HealRate_Negative”            ”%s1% Heal rate”
“Attrib_FireRate_Positive”            ”+%s1% Faster firing speed”
“Attrib_FireRate_Negative”            ”%s1% Slower firing speed”
“Attrib_OverhealAmount_Positive”    ”+%s1% Overheal bonus”
“Attrib_OverhealDecay_Disabled”        ”Overheal bonus doesn’t decay”
“Attrib_OverhealDecay_Positive”        ”Overheal bonus decays %s1% slower”
“Attrib_OverhealDecay_Negative”        ”Overheal bonus decays %s1% faster”
“Attrib_HealOnHit_Positive”            ”+%s1 Health on hit”
“Attrib_HealOnHit_Negative”            ”%s1 Health on hit”
“Attrib_CritChance_Positive”        ”+%s1 Critical hit chance”
“Attrib_CritChance_Negative”        ”%s1 Critical hit chance”
“Attrib_CritChance_Disabled”        ”No critical hits”
“Attrib_AddUber_OnHit_Positive”        ”Add %s1% ÜberCharge on hit”
“Attrib_Medigun_CritBoost”            ”ÜberCharge grants 100% critical chance”
“Attrib_DamageDoneBonus_Positive”    ”+%s1% Damage bonus on hit”
“Attrib_CritVsBurning”                ”100% Critical hit vs burning players”
“Attrib_DmgPenaltyVsNonBurning”        ”%s1% damage vs non-burning players”
“Attrib_NoCritVsNonBurning”            ”No critical hits vs non-burning players”
“Attrib_ModFlamethrowerPush”        ”No compression blast”
“Attrib_ModFlamethrower_BackCrits”    ”100% Critical hits from behind”
“Attrib_MaxHealth_Positive”            ”+%s1 Max health”
“Attrib_FistsHaveRadialBuff”        ”On Kill: +50 Health on nearby teammates\nOn Kill: +10% Crit Chance on nearby teammates”
“Attrib_CritBoost_OnKill”            ”On Kill: %s1 seconds of 100% critical chance”
“Attrib_Slow_Enemy_OnHit”            ”%s1% chance to slow target on hit”
“Attrib_Spread_Negative”        ”%s1% shot spread penalty”
“Attrib_BatLaunchesBalls”        ”This bat knocks out a mean stun ball”
“Attrib_DmgPenaltyVsNonStunned”        ”%s1% damage vs non-stunned players”
“Attrib_Scattergun_HasKnockback”    ”Knockback on the target and shooter”
“Attrib_BulletsPerShot_Bonus”        ”+%s1% bullets per shot”
“Attrib_NoDoubleJump”            ”Disables double jump”

// Unique item names
“TF_Unique_Achievement_Medigun1″    ”The Kritzkrieg”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_Syringegun1″    ”The Blutsauger”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_Bonesaw1″    ”The Ubersaw”

“TF_Unique_Achievement_FireAxe1″    ”The Axtinguisher”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_FlareGun”    ”The Flare Gun”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_Flamethrower”    ”The Backburner”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_LunchBox”    ”The Sandvich”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_Minigun”        ”Natascha”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_Fists”        ”The Killing Gloves of Boxing”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_Bat”        ”The Sandman”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_Scattergun_Double” “The Force-A-Nature”
“TF_Unique_Achievement_EnergyDrink”    ”Bonk! Atomic Punch”

“TF_Wearable_Headgear”                ”Headgear”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Scout”            ”Batter’s Helmet”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Sniper”            ”Tooth Belt”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Soldier”        ”Soldier’s Helmet”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Demoman”        ”Fro”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Medic”            ”Medic’s Helmet”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Pyro”            ”Pyro’s Helmet”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Heavy”            ”Football Helmet”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Engineer”        ”Mining Helmet”
“TF_Unique_Headgear_Spy”            ”Spy’s Helmet”

All the bolded stuff is very interesting stuff. Most of it hints at a new dropped randomized item system. Be on the lookout for this.