So, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything of substance. You can blame work for that. But something that I happenned upon today made me think long and hard.
The Lowdown
I stumbled my way onto this thread, while perusing the Steam forums and the “knowledge” contained within them. It struck a chord with me, because I use and love many of the weapons labeled as “useless” or “weak” by this thread. So, without further ado…
The Rundown: The SMG
“It’s the SMG. Definitly”
Now, spelling errors aside, lets examine why people might think the SMG is useless. Alright, starting with stats, the SMG does 8-12 damage per shot at point blank, 4-6 damage per shot at medium range, and between 4 and 5 damage at long range. It does 11 damage per shot on a minicrit, and does 24 damage per shot on a full crit. The SMG has a fire rate of about 10 shots per second, and a reload time of about 1.1 seconds. Sure, these stats pale in comparison with the Minigun, but the SMG isn’t a primary weapon, it’s meant as a sidearm, with it’s main purpose being finishing off enemies who you’ve already heavily damaged. I guess this is where some people draw issue with the SMG.
I see people all the time claiming that the SMG is only good for spychecking. I have yet to find this statement true. The reason why? The SMG doesn’t do enough damage. You’re much better off using the Kukri if you want to spycheck. The SMG’s real strength lies in it’s combo ability. Now that the Sniper/Spy update is out, I’ve seen an awful lot of snipers prancing around with the Huntsman and Jarate. An effective combo, if your opponent can’t dodge.

The Huntsman+SMG
A true power combo, the Huntsman and SMG can result in a particularly high KD if used properly. I find, that when I use the Huntsman, a good 50% of my kills come from finishing enemies off with the SMG. With the Huntsman, if you’re lucky, a fully charged bodyshot will kill whoever you’re fighting, but if not, you’re faced with a few decisions. Do you: A. Try for a second shot with the Huntsman (But what if they round a corner) B. Pull out the Kukri (Useless unless you’re at point blank) or C. Hit them with the SMG. I should hope you’d go with C. The reason being, even if you have to pump ten shots into them to bring them down, you’re going to get the kill. With Medics and Scouts, even a few shots at long range will kill them if they’re wounded. The tight spread and high rate of fire posessed by the SMG make it the perfect finisher, even if some people don’t see it that way.
The Sniper Rifle+SMG
With the regular rifle, the same tactics and usage apply, but because of the rifle’s dead accuracy, you may want to mix up SMG bursts with noscopes.
The Kukri+SMG
Miss that second, finishing blow? No worries. Keep your enemy at bay with the SMG.
Part Deux: The Scout Pistol
“The bat kills people quicker than pistols which is why I rate pistols useless.”
Lies. As any good Scout will tell you, the pistol is the second most important, and sometimes the most important weapon in a Scout’s arsenal. The reason? It all comes down to reload times.

The Scattergun, FaN, and You
For those who don’t know, the Scattergun, and it’s unlockable counterpart, the Force-A-Nature, have long reload times. In fact, some of the longest in the game. This is understandable, given the sheer power that these two weapons can inflict at close range, but when you run out of shells, the Scout’s 125 HP doesn’t always allow him much time to reload in a heated battle. The Scattergun takes a staggering 3.56 seconds to reload, and the FaN takes a fairly long 1.64 seconds. It is for these long reload times that the pistol exists. Be it a last ditch survival effort, or finishing off a weakened enemy, the Pistol gets the job done when you’re out of primary ammo.
The Distance Factor
The Scout’s primary weapons both specialize in close range (namely point blank) destruction, and are pretty ineffective when not lodged in an enemy’s face. The Pistol allows the Scout to have some distance capability, be it picking off a sentry outside its range, or picking off a fleeing enemy. When you take into account how big of a deal distance can become, the Pistol seems much less useless.
Conclusions: Is Anything Truly Useless?
In short, no. There is a use for every single weapon in TF2. No two weapons are the same, and no two weapons do things equally well. The diversity of equipment in TF2 is one of the things that makes it great. It makes the game fluid, unpredictable, and a lot more fun. Point is, every weapon fits in somewhere, whether it’s using Bonk to distact a sentry, planting a rocket at someone’s feet and sending them sailing, or blasting someone’s speed into oblivion. Actually, there might be one useless weapon: No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get any kills with the Sapper.