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In this instalment of How It’s Done, I have interviewed Larolaro, the creator of the Homewrecker and a winner of the famed Polycount pack contest, with his Tank Buster pack for the Soldier.

Firstly, how did you get into Modelling?

Larolaro: Well, for the past 4-5 years I’ve been working as a freelance illustrator (http://larolaro.blogspot.com) and at the same time I’ve always had a lingering curiosity for games and what-not, so I started to dabble in modelling. It was a straight up nightmare at first, as I found it very difficult to learn by myself, so the extent of my knowledge comes from 4 years of tedious un-knowing button clicking, haha. 2D and 3D really are two opposite sides of the same coin but eventually I got the hang of it… Sort of. Now, to be honest, I’m never going back. Being a digital artist moving onto 3D really gives me a plethora of new options to realize my ideas.

You initially designed the Homewrecker. How long did the Homewrecker, from idea to realization, roughly take?

Larolaro: I created the homewrecker roughly a year before I submitted it to valve through their contribute page. So, embarrassingly, the homewrecker was just a bit of tooling-around practice, as I just did it for fun and never intended for it to be a serious submission. The concept took me 5 minutes and the model and texture was complete in about 2 hours. However, the compiling and such took an age, the source engine really isn’t noob-friendly. I see the source engine as a beautiful ornate chair with a spike carved into the seat; It looks great, it’s solid and it will last for a long time, it’s just a pain in the ass to use.

What software packages do you use? Previous contributors have said that the paid stuff (like 3DSMax) is the best, but you can do just as well sometimes with freeware.

Larolaro: Oddly enough I get this question alot from random people on steam, and I never answer the question because if I did I would giving the impression that it matters which one to use. I’m sorry to burst any bubbles and such but unfortunately there really isnt a magic button to make 3D, as it’s difficult to learn 3D no matter what program you use. The program is just a tool for a similar result; just pick one that looks good and use it and if it doesn’t work out too well for you, you will naturally move onto a different program anyway. So my advice would be, try them all and pick what feels right for you.

The Homewrecker was originally an Axe/Axtinguisher skin (back when it was called Mr. Sledge), but upon submission did you ever think about what attributes it could have had? Some people think this is necessary, despite this not being the case.

Larolaro: Well, I have a lot of respect for the way valve do their thing, so I just left it to them, I had nothing in mind to be honest. I don’t manage a hugely successful online multiplayer game, so I don’t have any right to say what’s what because I really don’t know the amount of implications a game mechanic might have.

Do you think that Valve handled your submission well? The Homewrecker was initially a choice alternative for quick building destruction, but with the addition of the ability to damage Sappers it suddenly became a used and viable option for Pyros. And would you have liked to have had more influence on these modifications?

Larolaro: I really think they did great with the homewrecker, I was even happy with it before the sapper-removing stat, albeit it being a whisper of a weapon. The homewrecker was one of the first community weapons to be added into TF2, and it was new ground they are walking on, so I figured they would possibly weaken its impact on TF2’s gameplay.

When someone’s trying to get into modelling, can you offer any resources or tips you found helpful?

Larolaro: Well, I didn’t use many tutorials when I was learning so I don’t have any resources to offer. For learning 3D, my advice would be just stick at it, don’t give up and practice, practice, practice! It’s a decade long battle with a wall of scary buttons, so if you don’t suck it up and focus you’ll go crazy.

Do you think you learned much, if anything, from modelling for TF2?

Larolaro: Well, I’ve played and admired TF2 from the start, having clocked 1000+ hours in it. It really is a massive inspiration to me, modelling this and that for TF2 has really helped me on the way to becoming “industry” ready, if you know what I mean. It’s a huge compliment from valve to give the homewrecker and Tankbuster pack their professional blessing.

When you decided to enter the Polycount contest, did you have a clear image of the class/weapons you wanted to do, or was it a much more gradual and developmental process?

Larolaro: For the 5 weeks we had to do the contest, it took me a week to gather up the courage to even start. I really didn’t think I would have a chance of winning so I very almost didn’t enter, But I thought I might as well do it for some good old practice. So 1 week in I started a WWII Survival Theme (Check it out here). This involved a rucksack, a survival knife (See it here) and a scrim camo helmet. After 3 weeks I started to get a lot of criticism and my theme started to fall apart so I scrapped it entirely. I wanted to pursue an entry that went smoothly and people enjoyed, so I came up with a tangent off my original idea and this is when I came up with the Tankbuster Pack. I started my Tank Buster pack from scratch with only 10 days left of the contest. This meant I had 5 items to concept, model, texture and compile with 2 days each. It was total chaos and I really didn’t sleep very well for those 10 days, haha, but I learnt a lot and eventually got picked as a winner, so it was totally worth it.

Are there any other packs that you particularly liked in the Polycount contest? Valve have said that just under half of the entries were of a good enough quality for submission, so there will be more community items to come from the contest regardless of the main winners.

Larolaro: I enjoyed a lot of the entries in the contest, and it’s a shame only 5 won the contest, but I can understand coming up with game mechanics and balancing 12 weapons really is enough for one update. Some of the entries that caught my eye from the start were Nrek’s (Croc-O-Style), Progg’s (Gas Man), Both of Swizzle’s entries (Expert’s Ordnance Pack and Field Medic’s Tool Kit), Gerre’s (Hillbilly Pack) and Pierate’s (Medievil pack).

If there was another Polycount contest or something of that ilk, would you participate given the chance?

Larolaro: I have no doubt in my mind that Valve will do something similiar in the future, given the popularity and quality of the entries in the contest. In fact, I’d be surprised if they didn’t do something. And when that happens, I may have to take another shot at it, with a hopefully larger timeframe than what I had to do my entry in.

Lessons Learnt:
- Keep practising as much as possible. Remember, getting good is not a quick process, and needs time investment.
- Be sure to consider your ideas thoroughly first, and be ready to abandon projects if they become boring and are clearly not going anywhere.
- Once again, experiment with as many different softwares as you can until you find the one that suits you best. There is no definitive ‘best’, so it’s up to your tastes and working style to determine yours.

…and there is the lowdown behind one of the more successful modelling achievements in TF2.

_____________________________________________

Now, this is where I reach out to you, the reader. If you are an estabilished TF2 contributor (this includes maps), are interested in an interview, or know one who would be happy to have one published here, then please try to contact me here in the comments, on the UC forums, or at the Official Team Fortress Wiki. I’d like to make this series last as long as possible as I’ve recieved such positive feedback and so much useful information for aspiring 3D artists has come out of it, as well as revealing info to keep non-modellers amused and interested. Thanks for all the support, and hopefully expect more in the near future.

Ibuprofen from the forums continues to do our job for us with this amusing image breaking down the appeal of each Team Fortress 2 class:

Rage. It causes servers to empty, people to get banned, and competitive teams to break up. Team Fortress 2 probably spawns a little more rage than the average shooter, since it has a heavy focus on teamplay. Clutch plays are more difficult in TF2 than in other games, so if your team sucks, you’re going to get burned for it, even if you’re good.

That said, the root of rage, then, is a feeling that you didn’t deserve to die. This often arises from the fact that certain weapons allow players who lack your level of skill to kill you anyway.

I hereby dedicate this article to the idiot who came up with the Sandman. Please don’t pass your genes on to the next generation, whoever you are.

Honorable Mention: Backburner

Well, in light of the fact that there are MANY rageworthy ways to die in TF2, let’s give a quick shoutout to one that doesn’t make the top 5 list: the Backburner. There’s no airblast on this thing, and it has a good damage boost over the regular flame thrower.

Come on. This thing has W+M1 written all over it.

Which is why dying to a Backburner user feels extraordinarily humiliating. When fighting regular Pyros as Soldier, I usually wait until they airblast and then fire a rocket, or fire slightly to the side of the Pyro so that the rocket can’t be reflected back at me. However, you can’t quite tell which variety they’re using when they’re charging at you, and if you use the aforementioned fancy tactics, you’ll take much more damage than you deserve to take.

And before someone asks about the Sandman, it’s not on this list either, though at one point, it would have been. Heavy nerfing has (fortunately) caused the use of the Sandman to drop to near zero.

5. Level 1 Sentry

If you die to one of these, it’s all your fault. Sorry. As if the beep-beep sound isn’t enough to tip you off, it also takes a few seconds to kill you. That’s usually ample time to figure out where the infernal construction is (hell, you even get little directional hit graphics on the screen to tip you off) and get behind cover.

That doesn’t make it any less irritating when you die to one. Like the Backburner, it takes little skill to set up a Sentry. When an Engineer sets one up in the middle of a fierce firefight, he’s almost guaranteed to get some kills, since people greatly misunderestimate the Sentry’s killing potential. I feel that Level 1 Sentry-based rage arises from the fact that to a Ninjaneer, the Sentry is entirely disposable. It takes five seconds to set one up, and it just doesn’t matter when one goes down. There’s just no satisfaction in taking a Level 1 Sentry down, since in the long run, it changes nothing.

4. Reflected Rocket (when you didn’t fire it)

So when you die to one of these, you just don’t deserve it. At all. It’s only thanks to that dumbass Soldier on your team that your virtual body is lying in little bloody giblets. I mean, seriously, why did he have to spam the rocket? You were going to kill the Pyro anyway. Gosh.

It’s definitely quite lulzworthy when you’re the Pyro who got the kill, though. Vid courtesy of TMP, who gets one too many of these kills on me.

3. Facestab

Well, this one’s a glitch that supposedly was fixed innumerable times. It’s a more-or-less unavoidable side-effect of lag compensation, with the game corresponding the position of the knife at some point in time with the position of the back at a different point in time. It’s still a pretty big issue, and is probably a meme by this point.

Yup, it's a meme.

Unfortunately, I’m almost always on the receiving end of these buggers. Yet another reason to hate AT&T and its disadvantageous DSL.

2. Random Critical

Along with the Sandman, this is definitely not one of the TF2 team’s best brainwaves. Random crits cut fun and intense firefights short; they’re very unsatisfying to get kills with (since you didn’t really deserve the kill), and they’re positively rageworthy when you get killed  by one.

The principle behind the crit is reasonable, I suppose. It’s basically there so that unskilled players or a losing team can tip the balance. What the TF2 team probably didn’t grasp is the fact that they act both ways; both teams can get crits. Crits don’t make a last-stage offensive on Dustbowl any easier.

Crits are almost always disabled in tournaments (with the exception of some BS tourneys, notably the Escapist tournament last year). While situational criticals do make for some excellent strategy ( they’re the only reason the Kritzkrieg and the Backburner make any sense, after all), random criticals are just downright painful.

The fact is, whatever arguments you might make for why the critical hit is good absolutely vanish when you walk around a corner into the face of a crocket.

1. Natascha

Sometimes, when I’m going around kicking ass as Scout (in truth, this doesn’t happen very often), I hear a dakka-dakka sound, and my heart sinks.

Look at that smug face. There’s just nothing to love about this weapon when you’re on the receiving end. Consider this from the point of view of a Scout fighting a Heavy. At close range, where the Scout actually can do significant damage, the Minigun will rip the Scout to pieces; at that kind of range, the Heavy definitely has the upper hand in terms of damage output. So the only chance a Scout has is to dance around the Heavy landing meatshots.

The Natascha, in spite of the damage reduction, is still a solid upgrade. If the Heavy catches the Scout in his sights for even a split second, the slowdown will kick in and the Scout will be finished. Against all other classes, the Natascha fairs comparably well. The slowdown makes it far easier for one to keep their sights squared on the enemy. In addition – and very importantly – it keeps enemies in the open. The best way to take down a Heavy is to fire off some shots and then dart back into cover, but the Natascha makes this an impossibility, making potential assailants sitting ducks for the rest of the Heavy’s team. In fact, there are only two scenarios where a Natascha-wielding Heavy will be at a disadvantage–when attacking sentries and when in open combat with another Heavy–and in practice, these are fairly uncommon.

Until this thing’s slowdown is nerfed, the Natascha will remain grossly overpowered and pathetically easy to use. The Natascha is TF2’s equivalent of the CSS autoshotty – the perfect n00bcannon. As long as it stays that way, it will continue to irritate people.

Plus, I mean, the Natascha is the Heavy’s mistress. You don’t want to encourage infidelity, do you?

Disclaimer: This was not meant to be the second renaissance of music or similar, only a fun alteration of the lyrics to suit the TF2 universe. The unrestrained rhythm of the music doesn’t help as well. So don’t start fuming out of your nostrils already.

Based on this specific version of the song.

“YOU”

“YOU!”

“YES YOU!”

“STAND STILL PYRO!”

When we changed servers and went to 2Fort
There were certain engineers who would
Camp the point any way they could

By pouring their derision
Upon anyone we killed
And exposing our location
However carefully hidden from the BLUs

“What have we here Pyro?
Console commands?
A cheat code?
Oh a guide no less
A strategy guide everybody!
The Pyro reckons himself a proper player”

“Heavy get back
I’m all right Medic
Keep your hands of my metal”

“Absolute rubbish Pyro
Change back to Engineer”

“Repeat after me”
“A level 3 dispenser is made from a total of five hundred metal, with one hundred metal as the build cost and subconsequent upgrade of two hundred metal…”

But in the fort, it was well known
When they got home at night, the thin and
Psychopathic announcer would thrash them
Within inches of their lives.

We don’t need no intel camping
We don’t need no sewer control
No cheap kills outside the spawnroom
Engies leave them Pyros alone!
Hey! Engies! Leave them Pyros alone!
All in all it’s just another camper in 2Fort.

“Wrong, Do it again!”

All in all you’re just another camper in 2Fort.

We don’t need no intel camping
We don’t need no sewer control
No cheap kills outside the spawnroom
Engies leave the Pyros alone

Hey! Engies! Leave us Pyros alone!
All in all you’re just another camper in 2Fort.
All in all you’re just another camper in 2Fort.

Every once and a while, a video shows up that’s so good that we’re willing to risk the reader’s ire by putting up another video post. This is definitely one of those videos.

Quick update: The creator has uploaded a comparison reel, for those who didn’t see the original trailer or who just wanted to be even more blown away by the shot-for-shot accuracy.

When I first started playing Team Fortress 2 back in the day, it was when the Pyro update was released, since then I always had a grudge against the Pyro, especially those who wield the Backburner. The Backburner has always gotten the short end of the stick when it came to being an unlockable weapon. Those who use it are proclaimed to be “noobs,” and it is often deemed the reason why Pyros are referred to as being “W + M1”. I never had much interest in using the Backburner due to these reasons, as well as its lack of airblast.

It wasn’t until a little while ago I decided to try an experiment in which I would play as a Backburner Pyro for 2 hours. After playing I gained new respect for Backburner, so much so that I actually use the Backburner more then the regular flamethrower. I then decided to take the next step and try to write a guide to give players new insight into the Backburner Pyro play style and maybe change a few peoples opinions on the weapon. So let’s get this guide started.

“Thh Bhcgburnhr” – The Backburner

The Backburner is the Pyros first unlockable weapon which quite obviously replaces his flamethrower; it was created to make Pyros better at ambushing. When the Pyro update was released all the way back on the 19th of July, 2008, it was completely different compared to its present day counter-part. I’m sure that everyone recalls when the Backburner had the +50 health boost, where anyone using the Backburner would rush into battle head on and obliterate the opposition, thus creating the dreaded stereotype that has stuck with this weapon to this day… “W + M1”. The Backburner, however, has retained its ability to get 100% critical hits when attacking an enemy from the back. The only problem with the Backburner is that the area in which the Backburner will get crits is much smaller than the area a Spy would need to backstab someone.

“Trrlth rf thh trhdh” – Tools of the Trade

When playing a Backburner Pyro, having the right weapons for the job separates success and failure. Remember, your goal as a Backburner Pyro is to ambush foes from their blind spots and get in close to deal massive damage quickly. This section will only focus on your secondary and melee weapons.

The Shotgun

The standard sidearm for three classes as well as the primary weapon for our pal the Engineer, the shotgun is a powerful close range weapon, able to pump out 80-90 damage at point blank range; along with firing almost two shots a second, it can deal almost 160-180 damage per second. The shotgun is best used at close range; the same with the Backburner. Using both together would allow you to deal massive damage very quickly if you utilize the critical hits the Backburner gets. If you fail at killing the enemy quickly, switching to the shotgun allows you to deal a killing blow. The main drawback to the shotgun is that it is not very effective at long ranges, though this drawback isn’t new to the Pyro, since close range is this class’ bread and butter (or should I say toast and butter?) You can also utilize the shotgun to take pot-shots at fleeing enemies, to make sure that they don’t get away. The shotgun also gives you the ability to keep Soldiers and Demoman at bay due to the lack if an airblast; your bullets also allow you to destroy enemy sticky bomb traps.

The Flare Gun

The flare gun is the unlock able secondary weapon for the Pyro; it gives the Pyro more of a ranged game in terms of combat, allowing him to shoot flares over long distances to set his enemies ablaze. This gives the Pyro some ranged game but makes him more vulnerable when faced up close when short on ammo. The flare does about 27-33 damage upon a hitting it’s target; however since the flare sets the victim alight, the burn damage adds a total of 60 extra damage into the mix, making a total of about 87- 93 damage for a full burn. The drawbacks of this weapon are that it is only one shot per clip, two second reload time and that the damage it deals is not “sudden.” However, the flare gun is good for finishing off fleeing enemies, if they are on fire, you can score a mini-crit with a flare, if they arn’t on fire, they will be now. Being a Backburner Pyro means getting in close and taking out targets quickly, the flare gun would not be that great of an asset because of the fact that it puts out little damage initially; you can kill an enemy with a flare, but it gives him more time to retaliate and can lead you to your death.

The Fire Axe

What’s better than lighting someone on fire? How about lighting them on fire and then hitting them with a fire axe! The fire axe is as powerful as every other melee weapon (excluding the Scouts bats and the Butterfly knife) which is about 59-72 damage per hit. There isn’t anything special about the fire axe; it’s just a normal weapon.

The Axtinguisher

How can you improve a fire axe? Why not switch it out for a battle axe and wrap it in barbed wire? The Axtinguisher, the Pyros unlockable melee weapon, is a deadly weapon when used against an opponent who is on fire. While the axtinguisher is a weak weapon by default (23-43 damage per strike), its special ability is that, when used to strike a flaming enemy, it will score a critical hit which does a total of 195 damage. The axtinguisher is a great weapon, but is also a bit problematic at times, in order for it to be the most effective; the victim needs to be on fire, so you have to give yourself away by lighting the enemy on fire then trying to switch to your axe to finish them off. It would probably be easier to use the critical hits of the backburner since that should be your goal as a BB Pyro. The axtinguisher would be a wise choice in the event you attack from an angle in which you are not getting critical hits up close, then it would be wise to go in for the kill. However, the Axtinguisher is also more difficult to use due to the lack of the airblast, you won’t be able to push your enemies into a position where you can land the killing blow.

The Hadouken

The Pyro is also a master of a deadly technique from the realm of Street Fighter. By focusing, Pyros can release red hot flames from their palms themselves. This technique is so powerful, that getting caught in its blast will lead the victim to a instant fiery death. Tremble in fear at the Pyros greatest weapon… The Hadouken!

Ok, ok, the hadouken isn’t really a weapon; it is however the Pyros secondary weapon taunt that can deliver a killing blow. With both limited range and usability, it works out better as homage then a full blown tactic. Now, I can’t say I’m adept when it comes to killing enemies with this taunt, however, Don Newman is. I had a discussion with General Balls about Newman and his Pyro skills, he said the following.

*General Balls: You do realise that taunt-kills infuse you with the excess power of the soul that you murdered.
*General Balls: It’s true.
*General Balls: That’s why he’s such a good Pyro.
*General Balls: Because of taunt-killing.

That would certainly explain why Newman is such a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield. After that discussion, I asked Don if he could write some tips and tricks about hadouken for this article: he accepted and here’s what he had to say.

“There are two ways to score successful taunt kills with the pyro. The first is a matter of catching your opponent off-guard. If they are unaware, you can either taunt them while they are stationary (as is the case with snipers), or you can taunt them around tight corners where they do not suspect you and may pass through your line of fire. This approach is most effective when the location of your taunt is somewhere mundane, not near an objective or other major push point in a map. However, taunting repeatedly in the same location is an easy way to make an enemy aware of presence. It is best to infrequently use an ideal position so that they do not anticipate your presence and their impending humiliation.

The other way to score a taunt kill is to take advantage of a player when they cannot move out of the way of your taunt. This often occurs when they themselves are attempting to score a taunt kill and, being the alert and aware player that you are, you avoid their frivolous attempt. Instead, you can turn this situation on its head by taunt-killing them before they escape from their own failed taunt. The same applies to heavies eating sandviches or when the map ends and you have a few seconds to reflect on the scoreboard. If you are close enough to an enemy when the map ends, taunt away! It will be the most embarrassing death they have ever suffered, particularly if they won the map. Taunt killing an enemy in your own spawn can be the silver lining on the cloud of utter shame and defeat you will have already experienced by losing.

Remember; don’t abuse the hadouken in game to try and get kills, it isn’t effective and will most likely cost you your life, so stick with your weapons which were meant for killing.”

The best combination of weapons to use while wielding the Backburner would be the shotgun and the fire axe. The shotgun is more powerful at the close ranges needed while playing the Backburner Pyro; the fire axe gives better power if you are caught up close unexpectedly because you won’t be able to get your enemies where you want them to finish them off with the Axtinguisher. You can still choose to use both the flare and axtinguisher, it all depends on what you feel works better for you.

“Hmbuthhng nn Flhngng”- Ambushing and Flanking

The Backburner was designed to get players to use the Pyro for ambushing; which is what the Pyro is meant to do. Ambushing is crucial tactic for Pyros, especially those that are wielding the Backburner; as that is where it is the most effective. Here are a few tips when it comes to ambushing and flanking.

- Attack from unexpected areas, if the enemy doesn’t see you coming, you are able to deal more damage before they can retaliate. Don’t charge straight into battle, it’s not effective and it makes you look stupid; can you say W + M1?

- Try to outsmart your enemies. If you are spotted by enemies and you can’t win in a face to face confrontation, retreat. Get out of your enemies field of view and try to think of what he / she is expecting you to do. If you act as if you are going one way, they will most likely try to cut you off. Use this to your advantage; take a different route and ambush them with the Backburner.

- When hiding around a corner, make sure you are fully concealed. Remember that your flamethrower extends out in front of you; this can tip enemies off that you are around the corner. Either switch to a smaller weapon that is easier to conceal such as the axe while waiting for enemies to run by, or hide farther back so your flamethrower is fully hidden as well.

- Mix up your routes and hiding places, this works will with the first tip. If you take the same route multiple times or continually use the same hiding places the enemy will most likely catch on and will be prepared for the encounter. Try to find several routes or hiding places and mix them up to be less predicable.

By utilizing these tactics you can be able to catch groups of enemies off guard and take them out quickly and effectively with minimal resistance.

Thrlduhhrth nn Dhmrmhn – Soldiers and Demomen

Soldiers and Demomen are a lot harder to fight without an airblast to reflect their projectiles. Try not to get caught up in a battle against either of these classes at range, you will be severally outmatched. Try to catch them off guard and get in close so you increase the chances of winning the battle without sustaining too much damage. If you are caught in a battle against either of these classes at range, don’t try to win as you are severally overpowered when it comes to ranged weaponry. Try to get them to an area where they will be more susceptible to your flamethrower and shotgun; it would also be good to take pot shots at the enemy with your ranged weapon while retreating so you can damage them before they get in to close. Don’t forget that you can destroy those pesky sticky bombs by shooting them with your shotgun; take out the trap and catch the Demoman off guard.

In the most recent class update for TF2 we saw the Soldier and Demoman going head on in a War. While the Soldier came out triumphant, his new unlocks don’t make him that much of a different threat to the Pyro, seeing as his only new weapon that is a threat to you is the Direct Hit. You won’t have much of a chance at range against a DH Soldier, try to take pot shots at him with your shotgun or flare gun and run away.

The Demoman however has a completely new bag of tricks at his disposal, the biggest being his new close combat gear, the combination of the Chargin’ Targe and the Eyelander. With this combination, Demomen are now more resilient to all your flame based weaponry, taking only 50% of the damage. His new toys also allow him to chase you down by giving him a charge attack, as well as a speed boost by killing enemies with his sword. If you are in a fight with a Demoman who is wielding these weapons, make sure to keep your distance. Try to set him on fire and take him out with your shotgun or a swift melee attack (best recommended if you use the axtinguisher). Remember, is shield protects against fire, not bullets or melee.

“Uhn crncluthuhrn” – In conclusion

I hope you found this article insightful and that maybe you gained some new respect when it comes to wielding the Backburner. Don’t instantly regard those using this weapon as a “noob”, because who knows, you might end up feeling the tingle of critical flames running up your spine when you least suspect it.

Special thanks to Don Newman for his contribution and help, and to Tygrys for creating some of the pictures in this article.

Indulge me dear reader; just the other day I was playing a game of Team Fortress Two with my good companion Sir Tygrys when an observation was made. Checking the scoreboards, one notices that many of you are sporting digital avatars that are ill-fitting for such a Gentle Manne’s game.

Now perhaps you can get away with this shameful display on other counties of the Internet, but this is Ubercharged; my companion and I agreed we must do something about it.

And so Sir Tygrys, being a master of the arts, began work producing a collection of Team Fortress 2 inspired portraits tailored for Gentle Menne with an eye for the latest in style. Before presentation I must insist that neither of us will be held responsible if, upon glancing these works of art, your monocle falls into your tea.

But without further ado allow me to present to you our works, complete with the accompanying press release from the newly formed T&T Industries:

T&T Industries is happy to announce the release of our very own avatar pack, more precisely the ‘T&T Industries Classy Classes Avatar Pack’.

This pack was specially designed for all of you who understand the need to be classy in all your digital ventures. This splendid pack comes in two styles: BLU and RED, to suit individual customer preferences. You will find that they have been readily scaled down to 184×184 pixels, so they are immediately ready to use on Steam the very moment you download them to your drive.

All of these spiffing avatars were made by two masters of fine art – Sir Tygrys Murdock and Sir Tesla Sherbonk, with extra thanks to Sir Dont for improving the quality of the original images. Should you encounter either of them during your exploits in digital space, be sure to bid them thanks; they’ll be ecstatic to hear their work is appreciated.

Now go ahead and enjoy this fine art as we have prepared for you.

Remember our motto – quality is of the utmost importance and we strive to satisfy all of our customers.

Signed: T&T Industries Chairman of marketing

Willbur McTrackingster

You can download the newly improved v2 pack HERE, thanks to our friend Dont. You may also wish peruse the full sized imagery whilst you await the cheeseboard. Lastly, to those of you whom have no interest in showing some class, may I perchance interest you in a job sweeping out my chimney?

So the new update has been live for a couple of days now. It brought us some cool and highly annoying unlocks (especially the Eyelander – I hate that frickin’ thing) but it also changed the normal TF life for us. And here I want to tell you what has changed for the fire–loving maniac – the Pyro – and some tips on how to better survive in this explosive madness.

Chapter 1: The Black Scotsmen

Well, most importantly, you still have to dodge Grenades and watch out for Sticky carpets. But besides that, the ways of fighting melee Demomen has changed; wild Scotsmen are charging around with their swords and it’s easier to survive the new Sticky Launcher. So let’s get straight to the point.

Eyelander + Chargin’ Targe combo

For some odd reason a WOODEN targe gives the Demoman protection against flames, so forget about using your Flamethrower (but not entirely). First things first: throw away the Flare Gun if you’re using it. Sure, sniping people from far away and pissing off those damned Snipers sure is fun, but it won’t help you defeat the Scotsmen. So instead equip the old but reliable Shotgun and listen to this. When you see a Demoman dumb enough to charge you, let him taste your Shotty. By the time he’s halfway to you he should be pretty much dead. Although if he isn’t, don’t go for a fair melee fight. Step aside and when he flies past you, puff him with your Flamethrower, airblast him, and as he tries to kill some air swinging his sword wildly, run up to him and greet him with your Axtinguisher. Congratulations! You achieved your objective of killing him without him even touching you, and also caused some MASSIVE rage from his side. Even if he has only either the Eyelander or the Chargin’ Targe, the same advice applies.

The Scottish Resistance

Now this one is fun to fight against. You see, the Demoman can’t randomly detonate his Stickies when he has this unlock equipped. He has to actually aim at them. So this gives us a perfect opportunity to pass the field without much fighting. Just check your surroundings and if you don’t see any Demomen staring at the Stickies you’re about to cross, you’re pretty much free to go. If, however, you spot a Demoman who’s seen you there are two ways of dealing with it. First option – find an alternate route. Second option – if he’s close enough, you should try to scare him off with your Shotgun. If he’s within medium range, he’ll retreat after three or four hits screaming for a Medic, and you’ll be free to pass.

Chapter 2: The American Civilian Soldier

Yeah, this fellah here will actually change your play style a little, mainly due to one of his new unlocks – the Direct Hit. This will force you to be a little bit more stealthy than you were before, because you won’t be able to charge around as freely as you could before the update. But… that’s pretty much it. Anyway:

The Direct Hit

As I mentioned before, you will be forced to be more aware of the enemy Soldiers. This is because of the speed at which the missile from this weapon travels and the damage it deals when you’re hit. Sure, it’s still possible to reflect these rockets, but it’s really hard. Think of airblasting a Hunstman arrow. It’s really similar in this case. Second thing – damage. Even when you’ve lost just 30 HP you can be one shotted by the Soldier. Moreover, if you even just jump and the rocket hits you, it will count as an airshot and will give the Soldier a minicrit which will instagib you- even at full health. So pretty much the only semi–safe way of fighting this weapon is by catching Soldiers off guard from a place where they can’t see you or ambushing them. Also, when doing so try to not jump if it’s not necessary. That random rocket may hit you and kill you. You can also try to fight him with your Shotgun at medium range, but it isn’t really effective. So be aware of these enemies, as they’re one of the toughest foes you will run into (for now – until a possible update to the unlocks comes out).

The Equalizer a.k.a. the Imbalizer

Well this one is one hell of a overpowered unlock here. When you’re below 40 HP you instakill every class that has 150 HP and less AND on top of that your speed is raised to that of a Scout. But despite all of that it is pretty easy to fight simply because when you see a Soldier dashing at you with his Equalizer out, you just know that he’s really low on health. So again you pull out your old, reliable Shotgun and load him full of buckshot when he comes into medium range. Usually one shot is more than enough to kill such a threat. However if he catches you off guard at close range you’re pretty much dead unless you have catlike reflexes and you can turn around and kill him in the very second he hits you.

Now before you complain about it in the comments, I didn’t cover the Buff Banner or the Gunboats because they aren’t really weapons. The Buff Banner is a “weapon” that affects teammates so think of it as a glorified Jarate. Fight it the same ways you fight when you’re covered in piss – just hide and wait till the effect wears off and then go and kill ‘em.

So good luck, fellow Pyros, and kill as many of those damned explosive using classes as you can.

Oh, and Merry Christmas from Central Europe to all you Uberchargers out there!

Thanks to Tesla Tank for the title as I couldn’t come up with anything good.

Yesterday, 8:30 am. We were already done with out group drills and were onto individual exercises. There I was, trying to maintain a decent sentry, under suppressive fire. But that was not the goal of the exercise.

You see, each of us has to be trained to react, to certain situations, in the blink of an eye. All this sustained fire was for distracting me from the focus, the climax of the exercise: the sentry exit.

A time comes in a sentries life when little balls with sticky spiky ends begin accumulating under its steel legs. One sticky, two sticky – you are too late!  A good engineer does not count stickies but abandons ship and jumps away as soon as possible. That was what I was being conditioned with.

Others get their own exercises. For example that ape, Heavy, has to keep moving and dodging without thinking. Oh wait, he does not think usually. So his exercises makes him think AND dodge.

He has to play chess, against a chess robot *ahem* I designed. Out in the open with several snipers trying to put an arrow into his big but mushy head. Oh and he has to carry a drunk Demoman, who has to be taken to the bathroom every so often – or he will relieve himself atop Heavy, who has to beat the chess robot and keep that alcohol drenched (did I mention also flammable?) Scot alive. You will notice the automated chess player is made up of body parts belonging to a former employee of ours. A former employee who was “check mated”.

Then, Pyro, that freak has it easy. She’s told that one of our spawn rooms is infested with butterflies and she has to stay in there until she torches them all. In reality there are no butterflies, her goggles are so dirty that anywhere she looks she sees little random dots around her. She goes on for hours before her gas and her battery dies out. The Administrator thought of this unique exercise to wear her out, or else that hyperactive wacko won’t let anyone sleep during the mandatory afternoon recess (once she mumbled the first two seconds of TF2 theme over and over for two hours!). Of course our beloved and resourceful Administrator would not let go of all that gas and physical enthusiasm.

The “Butterfly Room”, shortly after its inception, became a conditioning training ground for Spy. He has to stay cloaked, and, do I really need to say, unlit, until “all the butterflies are cleared” (in Pyro’s head, they may be, quite literally). Of course that would be too easy. He also has to listen to and memorize the “Shakespeariclesean Play of the Day” on the radio (his watch can pick up AM radio stations, I swear, it’s true!). Then he has to re-enact flawlessly the whole play for us and the Administrator, in the cafeteria before lunch is served. One slip of the tongue, he gets a lashing, and his meal is given to Heavy (who still eats the plates and the silverware out of hunger anyway).

Ah yes, what was I saying? Oh yes, the sentry exit yesterday. I was fixing my sentry. My senses were keen, my eyes sharp. There came the first sticky. My cue to dash out. But I could not get out in time.

See, ever since last Saturday’s Cafeteria update (which is an internal update, you would not  know), the quality of food drastically increased, with fewer poisonings and reduced occurrence of bloody diarrhoea. I have been told that my figure was getting a bit rounder and softer. So there I was, short of breath, trying to get my chubby buttocks over the dispenser. I got fat! Ah, big time fail.

I am a practical man. Not a muscle man. I am not going to the gym (it smells anyway). I shall have my food, AND my exit. I have been thinking since yesterday and I thought I would share my solution with you.

First I wanted to design a spring board that would eject me up, and away. But obviously flying and falling on a full tummy is neither fun nor a pleasant sight. Then I came up with a fun idea; my own little air compressor gun!

It kind of works like Pyro’s airblast, but more precise. Imagine a thin stream of compressed air. No? Then imagine relieving your bowels through a thin, long pipe. Fun, right?

From early field trials, I can happily say that it can push stickies far far away, and reflect rockets and arrows alike. It is a bit too precise to push back people or put out flames, but that was not the point anyway. Oh and I added a kicker – an air horn! When my tank is full of compressed air I can let it out through the horn and WHHAAAA? Everyone around me is startled. Some jump up, turn around in sudden excitement, or twitch and fire their weapons. I have seen heavies revving up their guns nervously, demos blowing up their stickies prematurely, and spies uncloaking accidentally.

I am not sure if the Administrator is going let me keep it. If worst comes to worst I will be assigned “Officer for Bathroom Hygiene” for a month. Not as bad as “Manager of TP Recycling”, the title Scout held for 11 months, for “portraying the Administrator in negative light via spoken language”.

Alas, there is a price to pay for every single thing that is fun.

And such is life.

I am one of those people that rants when he keeps getting killed by a pyro. I fully admit to that, and I admit to it without guilt because when I stop playing, I realize that it’s my fault the pyro ever killed me. Unfortunately, some people don’t see that light. They see him as “W+M1! Noob class! RAAAAAAEEEEGGGGG!” but never admit that pyro is a difficult class to play. Let’s take a look, shall we?

What makes a Pyro so easy to hate?

You may recall way back when Clank stated that afterburn from the pyro’s flamethrower does sixty damage alone. This, according to the tf2wiki,, is true, and is one reason that the pyro is hated–the strong afterburn, which goes on for six seconds, and any smart pyro will lay shotgun/flare gun fire on you as you run, so it’s a bit inaccurate to say that 60 damage is all you’ll take in afterburn damage after facing a pyro.

Another thing the Pyro is hated for is his dps (damage per second). The flamethrower fires at 22.5 particles per second, each particle dealing 4 to 6.8 damage per particle, depending on range. That means the flamethrower, at point blank range, deals 153 damage per second. That means that the Pyro can kill five classes in less than a second, and is capable of killing two classes is approximately seven or eight seconds (153 close range + afterburn, assuming the pyro is killed while laying down the initial 153 damage). So basically, the pyro deals a lot of damage really quickly.

Lastly, a pyro could be hated for his stale style of gameplay. Surely, we’re all familiar with the W+M1 method of Pyro, where a Pyro relies entirely on the W and Mouse 1 keys to play. While this can be entertaining for some, this makes the pyro seem less skillful than other classes like the soldier and demoman. Obviously, as with any other class, there are some extremely skillful pyros (such as the well-known Don Newman)

What’s to not hate about the Pyro?

As stated above, the pyro does a lot of damage in a little bit of time. I probably stated those details in a manner that makes the pyro seem OP. But, surprise, he’s not. Let’s take a look.

The Pyro is the close range/ambush class. The only exception to him being close range is his flare gun, and that’s not a good long range weapon, it does 13-15 damage on impact with six seconds afterburn, a total of maximum 75 damage. Most of the time, it’s used to annoy enemies to run to the nearest health pack and annoy snipers. So, the Pyro is almost entirely close range. That means the Pyro has to get really close to you to reach its full potential. If you can’t spot the close range class running towards you, you’re doing something wrong. A good player is fully aware of his surroundings–mostly for ninjaneers and spies.

Afterburn is a tricky subject. It is surprisingly powerful, and it can easily cause a lot of rage due to the potential of dying right before you get to a health pack or resupply. However, there are a couple of things to consider. When the Spy/Sniper update was initiated, the unlockable weapon Jarate was introduced. Jarate, among other things, was capable of extinguishing fire. After that, an update was made that Pyros can extinguish flames with their compression blast. Heavies have the Sandvich, a transportable health kit that can be used to render the afterburn useless in terms of damage dealt. Every decent team hopefully has at least one medic and at least one engineer who has a dispenser at a minimum level two. Both of which heal at a rate faster than afterburn can destroy. Most medics have the mindset that burning “lit” allies deserve healing the most, then lit allies, then burning allies. With all these to get rid of afterburn’s effects, what’s to complain about?

W+M1 is a tricky subject. Most of the time, that is what a pyro does. He runs ahead, spewing fire everywhere. However, that’s an incredibly legit tactic, and I refer to paragraph one to explain why–Pyro’s still have to get really close to you. Besides, W+M1 is pulled by other classes. I’m looking at you, Heavy Weapons Guy. The Heavy does the very definition of W+M1. And what makes it different from when the pyro does it? Nothing, that’s what. You can’t argue that it’s different because the pyro can move at 100% speed when he spams, because the Heavy’s range (as short as it may be) makes up for his lack of mobility when pursuing targets.

Pyro = Dead.

In summary…

A lot of people that hate the Pyro are only frustrated because there’s a Pyro killing them, otherwise they’re usually quiet about it. Really, the best thing to do when somebody complains about a Pyro is to just do nothing. When somebody becomes frustrated, they are most likely not going to base their arguments on logic. All you really should do is just keep going on, arguing with them is pointless. I hope that I’ve changed some opinions with this article.

Credit to Toakal for once more helping me when I’m out of pictures. (He made the second one.)