Beware the Übermensch
Directly from the Ubercharged.net secret interview headquarters.
An exclusive interview with Mr.E., the anonymous author of the Übermensch controversial report that made its way into the internet last week.
Reporter: It is a pleasure to be here ladies and gentlemen, gamers and gamerettes. Today we have here Mr.E., who shall remain anonymous for the duration of this interview. Good afternoon Mr.E.
Mr.E: Good afternoon to you too.
Reporter: Now, Mr.E., last week this report made its way to the internet through secret channels, and has since then been brought to both the attention of the media and the public. Would you mind explaining to us what is the content of this report so that we are all on the same page?
Mr.E: Well, this report, if you so want to call your view of it, consists of the analysis of a colleague of mine at the Reliable Excavation and Demolition company. Now, it is common knowledge that none of us in the RED team are the most usual of individuals in the psychological front. You should hear what some of them talk about themselves. What some of them say to their weapons or what they do to grass or birds or…
Reporter: Excuse me Mr.E., but… Weapons?
Mr.E: Yes, I mean… it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Because we’re RED, and at least we’re not BLU, and that’s what counts. That’s the important point. That. Is. What. Counts. Except… This colleague of ours… I’m not so sure if he still thinks the same. I mean, initially we were all pretty quiet, you know how it is when you’re all new at the job. But then after some time, after some updates in our lives, he started to talk a lot more. And suddenly his conversations do not seem so simple, his rage does not seem simply turned towards BLU, it seems towards everyone and anyone; and sometimes he looks at us, and believe me you don’t want to see him look at you, because his eyes, his eyes-
Reporter: They are scary?
Mr.E: Yes; well, I suppose scary is a way of telling it, but the truth is it’s more than that. Sometimes it’s as if he holds us in no more contempt than the BLU’s, and that we’re all ants to him, and he sits there in his chair, with blood dripping from his fingertips and with that look on his eyes.
*Mr.E. drinks a bit of water*

Reporter: So, you believe this colleague of yours might wish you harm?
Mr.E: No, it’s not that. We’re nine combatants in the middle of a war; of course someone wishes harm to someone else, accidents and hostilities happen. It’s normal, it’s the human condition that one or other of us might sometimes be angry. But the thing is that we cannot hurt each other. There is no fire between friends, and that’s nice and okay, because that means that we can protect each other and not be worried about stray bullets. Oh, and it helps against spies, can’t stress that enough.
Reporter: I believe there might be a ‘but’ incoming?
Mr.E: Yes, there is… He is the only one that can affect us. I mean, my dispensers and such can heal them, and I can teleport them, and perhaps I shouldn’t be saying so many things, but gosh darn it… We can help each other, but it’s all very subtle and simple. But he can heal us, uber us, give us crits – And he’s the only one who can directly affect us like that. And if he can heal us, then he might be able to hurt us; and he’s invincible and we don’t know if he shares his invincibility because he has to, or if he’s not bound by any rules, and and and….
*Mr.E. drinks some more water*
Reporter: Are you calmer now, sir?
Mr.E: Yes, yes. It’s just that when I think of him then, looking at us sometimes when he barges in, his body reflecting every light in a sickly red glow. It gets to my stomach a bit.
Reporter: I am sorry for the interruption sir, but it seems that there are some disturbances outside our studio.
Mr.E: What? WHAT? Is it him? It is him, isn’t it? It’s him? It’s HIM!
Reporter: No, of course not sir. It cannot possibly be him, our headquarters are well hidden, there’s no way such a person might find its way here, and-
Mr.E: He can, believe me he can. The things I’ve seen him do. He. Can.
*CRASH*
Mr.E: It’s him, it’s him. I know it’s him, no one can keep him out, no one, no one. Noonenoonenoonenoonenoonenoone-
*Reporter nervously wipes sweat from his forehead*
Reporter: Stay calm please Mr.E., I’m sure it’s just the wind, no reason to be alarme-
*CRASH*

External voice: We apologize for cutting this transmission. We shall make sure that the rest of this interview will be transmitted as soon as possible with possible corrections and RUN RUN RUN FOR SAFETY HE’S BEHIND ME AND HE’S WATCHING US ALL AND HE’LL KILL US ALL HE’S MAD HE’S M-
*SPLAT*
-connection lost-
Drexer on August 9th 2010 in medic, team fortress 2, the funny


























