An open letter to server admins
Dear server admins,
It’s no surprise that many people hate fake player counts.
Clearly, someone at Valve does too.
Yet another reason we love Valve. Click to embiggen.
Hopefully this will serve as a wake-up call to utterly idiotic, terrible server admins, such as you [apologies if I mistakenly labeled you an idiot, but hey, if you take offense, you probably run 32-player servers, so the question of your intelligence is still up in the air]. People don’t like to be fooled, so don’t fool people.
And who knows? Your server might actually be good, though the very fact that you resorted to faking player counts to get people on your server points to only one possible conclusion.
[spoiler]YOUR SERVER SUCKS. THANK YOU.[end spoiler]
Love,
himmelstoss.
Thanks to The Political Gamer for the tip on the forums.
UPDATE: Just talked to Robin Walker about this. This may not be a prank on Valve’s part – it might be because of a legitimate hacker, albeit one with a commendable sense of humor.
Stumble it!
Jackal responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 4:04 pm #
No diggity indeed
Corodan responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 4:09 pm #
And we WON’T see them in hell.
Hideous rogues.
Scattergunner responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 4:16 pm #
Woah! That is cool!!
mew4ever23 responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 4:46 pm #
I really hate false player counts, especially when I connect and find an empty server.
CmptrWz responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 5:14 pm #
Someone at Valve? I thought it was someone with an exploit that hated them, Valve just does their delist thing. Right?
Gotta love people who have more people “connected” than the game lets you have in general, though. And by “love” I mean “hate”.
Eldrake responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 5:57 pm #
Hahahahah, this doesn’t even BEGIN to scream PWN’D. Man, this makes me forgive almost everything stupid Valve had done. *Manly tear*
himmelstoss responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 6:38 pm #
Updated with new info.
JustAConspiracy responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 6:56 pm #
Valve should hire him on the spot.
C. responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 7:04 pm #
I found out that Saigns uses BOTS on their servers to keep the playercount up.
Yam responded on 17 Nov 2009 at 7:47 pm #
Look at the player counts, they refer to bits of the bible.
Whilst not a believer myself, I found it very funny
rednec0 responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 1:12 am #
Not only will it look like there aren’t many players on there some servers actually use them to keep special slots open for certain players.
ExAstris responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 1:50 am #
To whomever started this exploit:
Jolly good showe, sir! I tipeth my towere of hattes to you.
I didn’t realize NoHeroes and Lotus did that… I will leave their public groups forthwith -.-.
EchelonThree responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 2:00 am #
Those damn servers deserve it. They’re just penalizing themselves anyway
Moby responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 2:11 am #
Hacking someone’s servers because you don’t like their player count is a dick move. Don’t like the servers? Don’t play there. I’m not saying I agree with the fake player counts, but the only thing this asshole did was interfere with the play time of tens or more likely hundreds of players for a few hours while Lotus got it fixed. Way to go dillweed.
Cali responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 2:33 am #
@ExAstris To my knowledge, NoHeroes has never used fake player counts. They do have 32 player servers though.
Azul responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 3:03 am #
Way to go! We need an option to personally blacklist servers. If you go on late at night you will often join 4 to 5 servers in a row that are “full” only to be greeted by the chirping of crickets.
Patrick responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 3:12 am #
A lot of people also misspell “whoa”.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=woah
wafer responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 3:17 am #
All you have to do is right click the server and if its says its not responding its probably using a fake player count.
Works for me all the time and it takes 5 seconds.
ExAstris responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 3:58 am #
@Cali, it was one of the ones Himmelstoss linked to in the post.
Himmel, can you perhaps provide some evidence for the ones you posted? The links I’ve found don’t have any.
Cali responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 4:53 am #
@ExAstris Yeah, but I figured his apology for labeling them possibly mistaking them as idiots or whatever cured that up, or I just read that wrong.
Also, he links to http://www.criticaltf2.com/2009/01/when-servers-lie.html, which talks about that “a member named juicebox has taken it upon himself to maintain an external list of servers”. http://www.exodusgaming.net/fake.html
Just FYI
ExAstris responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 5:20 am #
Yes, I’ve seen that. NoHeroes isn’t on it, but it fails to provide evidence for a lot of them as well – perhaps nobody’s taken screenshots yet.
I may still remove them, they’re irritating.
n00bie51 responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 6:28 am #
Commendable sense of humor indeed.
chewybraincookies responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 7:26 am #
Yeah, No Heroes has never used fake player counts.. there are a group of people who work incredibly hard to get the servers going every morning. It does annoy me a tiny bit when we’re labelled alongside less trustworthy communties.
We do run 32 man servers, so feel free to continue to lambast us for those however.
Moby responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 7:41 am #
What’s the big deal about 32 man servers?
Joe responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 8:11 am #
CLAN AO IS THE SHIT!
BEST SERVERS AND PEOPLE OUT THERE!
Skink responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 8:25 am #
When you say idiotic server admins, I expect eGo
Indifference Engine responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 9:28 am #
I’ll just leave this right here:
http://tf2app.com/blacklist/
ExAstris responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 9:48 am #
Oooh, shiney link. Must me click now.
Axetinguisher responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 1:14 pm #
>No Heroes
>doesn’t use fake player counts
>coolface.jpg
BluePhantomSniper responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 1:14 pm #
Clan AO servers are indeed “The Bee’s Knee’s!” I’m not just saying this since i’m in the clan either haha.
I do wish we wouldn’t use the fake player counts at least some times. I get confused myself with it
Frigid responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 6:13 pm #
Just throwing this one out there to, TN never uses bots or fake counts. Ive been playing there for quite some time and have always seen or joined with legit counts. I understand the humorous nature of the article but just thought I would clarify.
Drexer responded on 18 Nov 2009 at 10:35 pm #
@BluePhantomSniper
If you’re saying that your clan is good and yet you still admit that it uses fake player counts, there’s something wrong with you. A clan can be nice and good for their players, but if they purposely lie to both them and all the other players, then they are NOT good servers.
chipbuster responded on 19 Nov 2009 at 9:10 am #
I play on a server with fake player counts, but only because everyone there sucks so badly that I can train my worst classes in relative peace (think a 2:1 K/D as a scout with only 9 fps kind of stuff)
DP responded on 19 Nov 2009 at 10:01 am #
I personally use the No Heroes servers all the time, and the only sign of false player counts I’ve seen there are certain servers saying 1/32 when there’s nobody in there. It’s still wrong, but much better than others at least.
AnUnluckyFreak responded on 19 Nov 2009 at 1:26 pm #
@Drexer
so….. a good clan cant use fake player counts? im sorry to say this, but alot of servers use fake player counts. plus, our fake player count is not like the others. we only add at max 5 players. and if there is nobody in the server, there is no fake player count.
Comissar Cain responded on 19 Nov 2009 at 5:10 pm #
@AnLuckyFreak
If your ‘clan’s’ server was worth mentioning, you wouldn’t have to bother with it.
I don’t care if you’re a bunch of amazing MLG-league playing pros, you can’t be all that great if you have to try and trick people into clicking join.
Brian_Black responded on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:18 am #
I would agree. The “everyone else is doing it” line really doesn’t work, regardless of how different your deception is from everyone else’s. If you’ve got a great community going, you’ve got no reason to lie to people to get them to click join.
Phosphorus responded on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:58 am #
Lmao at the advertisers of their shitty clans.
Sandman responded on 20 Nov 2009 at 3:49 am #
A cop says: “I’m sorry to say this, but a lot of radar guns add to your speed. Plus, my radar gun is not like the others, I only add at max 5 mph/kph.”
Hey, this logic is fun! I love the argument of: “I lie, but I only lie a little bit compared to some other people, so it’s not really a lie”.
Alexander responded on 20 Nov 2009 at 9:58 am #
Probably the same thing that the one guy did with garry’s mod, where he hosted a crapton of dedicated servers from his own IP, making it appear as though they were hacked…
2tone responded on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:57 pm #
@Sandman:
I haven’t laughed like that since I was a little girl, thank you.
Drexer responded on 20 Nov 2009 at 9:19 pm #
@AnLuckyFreak
I believe the other comments answered your question?
Bottom line is, if you’re a good clan, you wont use fake player counts. NEVER!
Take the Ubercharged.net servers, they might be empty at least half the day, but we see no reason to be scumbags and liars.
LaZodiac responded on 21 Nov 2009 at 12:38 am #
Both this and Boomercharged have an “Open Letter To” post as the featured article.
Is Charged serious buisness now? (kidding)
Substance responded on 21 Nov 2009 at 7:09 pm #
@Drexer
“…scumbags and liars”
(Looks at the scumbags and liars)
Oh no she deedent!
Josh60502 responded on 22 Nov 2009 at 4:55 am #
I always thought that when I joined an empty server that said it had people in it, there was a problem on my end… like the list wouldn’t refresh right or something. But apparently I’ve been wrong.
vic responded on 22 Nov 2009 at 7:47 am #
I fail to see what good this does to the servers since people will quit the second they realize they’ve been fooled, and possibly remember never to join the same server again. I know I do.
I personally think admins of servers using this trick should be VAC-banned.
Nightbox responded on 22 Nov 2009 at 11:37 pm #
I’m server administrator. I run 4 servers. I’m fed up with stupidy of TF2 players. They refuse to join a server if there are not 10 people on it. This is pure stupid. That’s why i’m working on putting bots on my servers, instead of fake slots.
Until TF2 Players will be intelligent, us (server administrators) we will use our weapons.
Anti-Bad Admins responded on 23 Nov 2009 at 4:13 am #
@Nightbox
lol lern2community, n00b.
noodleboy347 responded on 24 Nov 2009 at 7:15 pm #
These servers bother me to no end, and I’ve been forced into only visiting like the 1 last server that doesn’t use it in my favorites.
Teatime responded on 25 Nov 2009 at 3:48 am #
@Nightbox:
Not that this remark makes you look more intelligent than the players you call stupid, but at least you are honest about it.
But I wonder: Does it work?
If somebody joins a server expecting to find 10 people playing and realizes he’s alone, does that player stay?
Do you really manage to fill up your servers with that tactic? Pray tell …
Shobi responded on 25 Nov 2009 at 8:38 am #
Faking playercounts sucks, but I do understand.. without at least 5 steam friends backing you up it’s just impossible to ‘’start up” a TF2 server, even if it has a fun map rotation, no quake sound faggotry, no insta respawn 32 players 2fort 24/7 and whatnot.
Pad See Ew responded on 26 Nov 2009 at 3:16 am #
It doesn’t work. Shobi is right though, the only dependable way to start up or seed a server is to have a dedicated core group.
The problem with a lot of regulars on our server is, they’re fickle and will skip on to another server because no one is on ours. I’m always the one saying, “No one is on the server, because YOU are not on the server” (Uncle Sam style).
Nightbox responded on 30 Nov 2009 at 10:54 am #
@Anti-Bad Admins
Trying to do a community in a country that almost no one gives a fuck about the game is doing me a bad admin ? Hmm maybe if you could search my name on google or visit my community you could understand.
@TeaTime
My server is filling if there are min 10 players on it. Guess why ? Because TF2 players don’t give a fuck trying to help themselves to get a better country (that’s the target of my community). My community is based 99% of romanians in the server. They are joining the server if they see people on it.
I challenge you and Anti-Bad Admins to create a community for whole Africa without South Africa Republic and tell me if you do it better than mine.
Anonymous responded on 07 Dec 2009 at 9:02 am #
>water’s /v/ tf2 server
>water’s /v/
>water
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.jpg