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Wow, we’re almost at the halfway mark now, let’s keep going, the most important rule is here! (rule 18)

24/7 2fort
Instarespawn custom sniperfest
I’m really bored so I go join red
And then roll soldier and start beatin all the rest
I don’t like the stupid lucksman players
Arrows don’t need no skill at all

Rocketjumpin all alone
My team are all on the phone
I’m on a side with 5 AFKs
Stupid WM1 pyro
I don’t like the way he blows
I feel like I need to ragequit

I doubt anybody will get what just happened…. let’s see what happens next time…

13. A battle on your terms is a battle won

“Play your advantage against his weakness, bring a gun to a knife fight, bring a machinegun to a gun fight, bring a laser to a machinegun fight” – Oscar Wilde

The enemy is faster than you, but you have more firepower; everything else is even. Obviously, you shouldn’t engage him in a fight of maneuvering, but rather try to force him into an area where your firepower matters. A narrow corridor is a prime example, his speed will count for nothing, but your firepower can be concentrated and focused on him.

Likewise, if you are a scout against a demoman, demomen are poor(er) at close range than at other ranges, and they can’t always hit you if you evade well, but obviously, you don’t want to charge him head on.

So, make use of the area, and lure him to an area where you can dominate him; once again, using Gravelpit as my example, try to force him to point A instead of engaging him in the corridors where your advantage is greatly reduced.

WARNING: Serious Zone! – Concept Content: Battle Simulation

This is the longest concept content section, and for good reason: Before we try to do decide what to do, we must know the kind of situation we want to face the enemy in; therefore, it often pays to try and “simulate” a battle by considering what will happen if you were to engage him, weighing your strengths against his.

Let’s try a real tough fight (not like that scout vs. demo example). I’m a Soldier defending on Gravelpit, I’m patrolling the A to C corridor and run into an enemy demoman approaching from A

To most players, the soldier and demo are often considered *approximately* equal.

What we need to do is to find a situation where I can stack the odds in my favor.

Let’s review what we all know, and then we can calculate the “ideal” decision; it’s critical that you know that fight conditions are never ideal, and this is only a rough sketch.

Since we have the leisure of time here, we can annotate each factor in this fight. Key points in the fight (i.e. the points which will determine the fight) are in bold. Potential factors (i.e. points which may become important, but currently aren’t) are in italics.

-          The demoman is faster

• He can decide where to fight

-          Demoman often prefer to set up stickies if they have the time

• If allowed to do so, he can make maneuvering very hard for me
• I must attack as soon as possible, or retreat.

-          The soldier has direct fire, but no indirect fire

• Open terrain favors me since his advantage is reduced

-          I have 25 more health

• It’s not much, but it acts as a valuable insurance policy

-          Demomen can’t attack at close range without splashing themselves

• At close range, I have my shotgun, or my shovel, he has a bottle.

-          His sticky launcher holds 8 stickies, against my four rockets

• His “direct” weapon has more ammo than I do, which means that when I’m dry, it’s shotgun time

-          I have a shotgun, and he doesn’t

• That last point doesn’t seem so bad, after all, the shotgun is the most versatile weapon in the game, and the demoman doesn’t have that

-          Demomen have a limited range

• My rocket launcher can hit him even when he can’t hit me

-          Soldiers can rocketjump, demomen can’t do it without blowing all his stickies

• Right now, I’m indoors and can’t rocketjump, but if I can bring him to an area where I can, I can outmaneuver him easily

As shown above, there are actually many factors in a fight between two sides, careful consideration must be taken before you try to attack anyone

End Serious Zone

14. Get behind their doctor!

“Screw the Geneva Convention” – Oscar Wilde

The enemy medic is the most vulnerable part of their formation. He’s usually more concerned spotting for targets (as above), and will likely see you, but what can he do about it? If he continues healing, he’s an open target; if his medic buddy falls back, he’s left his back open; if he turns and defends himself, he’s not healing.

Don’t be afraid to rocketjump over enemy lines just to kill their medic; he or she should be your number one target in a battle.

If you manage to kill their medic, then it’s usually more than worth it; even if you have to die while doing so, killing a medic costs him charge time, spawn time, and time which his team has to do without it. If I had to get a killcam shot, this is what I would want to see on it:

See point 19 – Don’t endanger your medic.

WARNING: Serious Zone! – Target Prioritization

Target Prioritization is the art of picking out the most important target in a group of enemies, and picking the most effective use of your ammo using a few criteria.

One way involves picking out what will do the most damage in terms of time taken, very useful for defenders.

For example, a medic with an uber is worth 100 seconds (90 secs give or take Übercharge time, 10 sec spawn time), a soldier is worth 10 seconds (10 sec spawn), a level 1 sentry is worth 15 seconds (5 to build, quite a while, I assume 10, to get it safely), a level 3 is worth considerably more since it takes a long time to build safely.

Another factor is the threat factor, where you evaluate which one is the most direct and immediate danger to you, and act accordingly, for example, the demoman firing at you is an immediate threat, the soldier coming up is not.

Finally, there is the position factor, where a player’s strategic position comes into play, if a soldier is attempting to take high ground like the roof of gravel B or containers in granary, he becomes a priority target as opposed to a soldier who isn’t trying to get into a good position.

End Serious Zone

15. Know your effective range

Don’t be stupid, that minigun isn’t going to do anything to the snipers across 2fort. Stop firing. Yes good job boy, you like suppressive fire. But at this range it’s more “fire” than “suppress”. Besides, he’ll nail you way before you kill him, and it’s a waste of your ammo.

No, really, I’ve seen many players do this and spray their ammo all over the place, then go onto the bridge (without going back for ammo for some reason) and get slaughtered by me, waiting there with a full barrel of rockets as they try to punch or taunt kill me since they don’t have a shotgun either.

Some weapons do little damage at long range, and some do good damage at long range, so, against a heavy, make use of the fact that after you exit the minigun’s medium range, he’ll only be doing 5 damage a bullet, but your rockets will still do well.

Likewise, don’t try to engage a heavy at close range as a soldier in direct combat (if there’s cover, then it’s fine if you use it to your advantage).

WARNING: Serious Zone! – Effective Range

Your effective range is the range at which you can actually kill your opponent effectively. That may have seemed obvious, but it helps to know the range at which you should be engaging your opponents before giving your position away.

Effective range is the range at which your weapons are capable of dealing maximum damage, in most cases, this is at point blank, however, when self-damage is taken into consideration, it may be medium or even long range.

End Serious Zone

16. Play the decoy

“Besiege Wei to rescue Zhao” – Okay, for once, something Sun Tzu actually did say

You might not be well equipped to deal with the target at hand, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not useful. You can act as a decoy, drawing enemies away in order to spread out their defense.

For example, a spy stabs a heavy, cloaks, and beelines his way out of there. Which direction should he run in?

A good answer is back towards his lines, to safety, where he can heal up and go on another sortie, but there is a downside – the enemy knows you’re gone.

The better answer is to run the long way back to your lines, or to some obscure place (e.g. on dustbowl, run for the trench tunnel). You don’t even have to all the way – just pretend to go that direction, and turn around when you’re fully cloaked. Why, you ask?

Simple – by running somewhere obscure, enemies will devote time to finding you, send a pyro to hunt you, and check with their medics. This draws enemies away from their posts engaging your soldiers, demos, and heavies.

If they stay at their posts, you are free to do whatever bad stuff you want to them again, lather, rinse, repeat as needed until all flakes are gone.

Of course, on Gravelpit, this can be put to good use. Should you try to attack B and be repelled, you can try to send a decoy scout to A. You have better mobility since you can switch between the two targets easily. However, they have the two unsavory options of either rushing to defend A and leaving B open (and even then they may lose A anyway), or sitting at B and giving A away.

17. Don’t rely on ambushes

“Don’t use a steak tree, use a ham bush” – Leonidas Trotsky

You can rely on ambushes to give you an advantage over your opponent, but don’t count on them to win a battle, and don’t obstinately stick with the same trick after it has been proven fruitless.

Many stupid pyros have tried the same thing over and over on me with no effect but their unfortunate and very predictable demise. Yes they win the first time through, but it’s really hard to fall for it again.

Think about this scenario on the map Blackmesa, most people would fall for this trap which involves stickies doing damage through grating. The idea is that people would come through the one way door into the blue corridor, and be stuck as they would have to go through the passage; the demoman is then free to blow them up.

It often works once on most players, but over time people will learn to come through alternate routes. Spies may use the dead ringer to force a premature detonation or simply cloak past, scouts may use bonk to bypass the area (though forcing the enemy scout to use bonk instead of a pistol is a victory in itself), and enemy snipers and soldiers can kill the demoman before moving in.

I’ll come back to this situation later with a slightly different picture

See also Point 18 – Don’t count on enemy stupidity

WARNING: Serious Zone! – Diversions and Ambushes

Despite the bad name I may have given it up there in an actual combat situation, an ambush is an excellent diversionary tactic when used in combination with a larger plan.

A pyro running straight (or better yet, jumping) into a pack of enemies (preferably while screaming “Allahu Akbar!”, “CHARGEE!” or “BANZAI!!”) is something that will instantly draw all attention away from your team’s follow up (preferably from another angle), and buys you some time to attack.

This gives you a period of time to follow-up while the enemy stops, drops, and rolls (or dies).

End Serious Zone

18. Don’t count on enemy stupidity

“Hm… he’s a soldier and he’s out of rocket ammo, so as a scout, I can run in and get in a few shots as he tries to reload all four.”

Wrong; you must always assume that the enemy will make the best possible move (you learn this in chess too). Assume that he’ll switch to his shotgun, or that he’ll reload just one rocket instead of four and fire it off at you to juggle you before finishing you off with the shotgun. Just don’t count on him giving you an opening by reloading four rockets.

Always assume that that he’ll make the best possible move in response to what you’re about to do, assume he’ll reflect your rocket, that he’ll see your stickies, that he knows you’re there. If he does do that stupid thing, you’re on top, if he does the smart thing, then it’s all even.

This is the NUMBER ONE mistake that most players make, and it’s appropriate that it’s right in the middle of this guide, do not ever assume your opponent is stupid. That assumption will cost you