The Underdog Strikes Back
It is all about hats these days. How to find hats – how to make hats – it makes me sick that Valve could not implement my original idea of giving everyone a new haircut – likely due to lack of good programmers – and opted to hand out bunch of strange hats instead.
And the propaganda – how hats are symbol of power and class and such. Has it come to this? Hats dignifying or disgracing us? Facial hair has been a symbol of power and manliness for much longer than hats. Man had facial hair before he had fire. So, as a proud member of Beard Team USA, I took the initiative to draw mustaches on all classes, not to mock them, but to bless them with character.
Below you will find my humble attempts at avatars for a Mustache Team BLU, a dark and chillingly cool counterpart to Valve’s fiery favorite Team RED, for I am tired of everyone loving RED over BLU and for I always have the utmost sympathy for the underdog.
Grow that ’stache above your upper lips and women will not care if your MD diploma is real or not.
Most women say that mustaches are ‘eww’. In truth most women had mustached fathers and secretly they admire it, according to Freud.
Our beloved soldier in his younger days, here seen taking a break from breaking bones in France, during WWII.
Real spies do not use fake beards or cameras. They blend in with a beautiful mustache.
Scout was an aspiring police officer before he was ‘hired’ by BLU. “The Officer” is a mustache style famous for instilling fear in criminals and diner owners.
It is no secret Pyro is a woman. Well, Pyro can not sport a mustache so even if he’s a he, he won’t ever be manly enough, so I chose to picture him/her in a feminine environment.
A proper mustache is to the Australian what red wine is to the French. Ask madlep, our resident Australian if you don’t take my word for it.
Mutton chops are back in fashion, and are great at adorning big chins. Does this guy not inspire awe in you or am I terribly terminally obsessed with facial hair?
And finally, we have everyone’s favorite, Samuel Jackson, thankfully already bearing some great chops, so I spared him of my hairy wrath.
Thank you for your time, and please consider participating in No Shave November and reconnecting with your testosterone whichever sex you belong to.
Stumble it!
himmelstoss responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 5:48 pm #
The last picture is my new wallpaper.
More kickass work, Hain. I love it.
Mickyan responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 6:49 pm #
It’s nice, but the scout is just out of place
Jonus63 responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 6:59 pm #
Man i would love these for skins
Glufam!chel responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 7:14 pm #
HAHA! nice job…though the engy looks like the village people worker ^^
Jazmeister responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 7:49 pm #
I have no use for any hair follicles below my nose. Seriously. Shaving is a pain in the ass, and beards smell.
Excellent modelling, though – virtual beards do not smell, and are painless to remove. Do want Fu Manchu for the Scout.
Soylent Robot responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 8:05 pm #
Fantastic!
Zorgulon responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 10:54 pm #
Valve needs to get on this immediately.
That dapper moustache really completes the Medic.
Tesla Tank responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 10:56 pm #
But the soldier already has an unlockable ’stache. Or is it a stash? I forget.
Skwart responded on 19 Sep 2009 at 11:15 pm #
epic win XD
Hank responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 12:23 am #
last picture:
“WHAT aint no country i ever heard of, they speak English in What?”
Laerin responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 12:44 am #
Brilliant. Well I’m not really too sure about the Sniper, Scout and Soldier’s stache’s by the rest are simply brilliant. The picture of the spy looks weird though, stache is fine but it looks like there’s a bit of hair coming out of his mouth…
Kitalpha responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 1:13 am #
Speaking from the view point of a woman…… I can honestly say mustaches can be rather hot.
Great work!!
Dzamir responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 1:32 am #
OT:
“HAHAHAHAHA! OKTOBERFEEEEST!”
http://www.repubblica.it/2006/05/gallerie/esteri/oktoberfest/2.html
Admiral responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 2:00 am #
I love all of ‘em, ‘cept for scout, spy, engie, and sniper.
I personally think the sniper looks better with a goatee.
deadbeatriot responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 2:12 am #
this is great, but there is in fact a blu team version of those avatars.
i’d kill for a soldier ’stash though.
eMPTy responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 3:03 am #
So I see slight similarities to ‘Stached Medic and renowned Silver Screen-era actor Vincent Price. Does anyone else notice this?
saladful responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 3:30 am #
The medic’s ’stache is too french for a german. If you’d want to be accurate, something like a full beard should be more fitting.
Also, I agree, Sniper with a goatee is totally badass.
Scout looks wierd, though. Isn’t he supposed to be rather young?
dismal responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 3:31 am #
great work!
Mr. Vorhias responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 3:32 am #
Heh.
The Medic kinda looks like Gomez Addams now.
Jung92 responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 10:50 am #
Win. I really like the Scout, Heavy, and Samuel Jackson
Ohrice responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 11:22 am #
Look at the Sniper picture.
Is that Che Guevara?!
Jackal responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 11:28 am #
Heavy was the best
Nick responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 1:11 pm #
Nobody knows what mustache Pyro has/would have. Except Robin Walker. He knows all.
GrgoljBlaster responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 11:10 pm #
Haha Medic looks like Inspector Clouseau from Pink Panther movies
Anonymous responded on 21 Sep 2009 at 4:07 am #
I think the Scout could work better with a Goatee.
Apart from that I thought they were all genius.
Mr. Shiny Object responded on 21 Sep 2009 at 10:25 am #
The soldier looked wierd, and I didn’t like the spy’s. The scout should have fuzz instead of a stche’ cause he’s so young.
Sarda responded on 21 Sep 2009 at 11:37 am #
Loved the heavy. Are these models? I hope they are…
Sarda responded on 21 Sep 2009 at 11:38 am #
Nevermind above, pics were too small for me to tell they weren’t in-game screenshots
Mr. Noobinator responded on 21 Sep 2009 at 12:46 pm #
omg THESE ARE BRILLIANT!!!
Himmelstoss responded on 23 Sep 2009 at 4:37 pm #
Robin Walker, take note.
FYI-Roach responded on 11 Oct 2009 at 4:50 pm #
WoW, just love the Sniper and Soldier mustache. Really nice.
Clan SNAP » Blog Archive » Moustache is the new hat responded on 10 Mar 2010 at 12:46 am #
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