Make Your Own Jarate! (No, it’s not what you think it is)
If you’ve been lurking ubercharged for a long time, you should no doubt know how to make your own Bonk! Atomic Punch soda.How about making your own jarate? In just three steps, too!
And for the record, those three steps do not involve pissing in a jar, closing the jar, and throwing the jar at people.
Credit to ubercharged’s own Pyrit for the original artwork 
Ben over at NerdBalloon came up with an (alcoholic) cocktail that, in appearance, at least, resembles the Jarate we know so well. And yes, I’m aware this is old news, but sending them a little traffic isn’t a bad thing. You’ll need ten cans of apple juice, a cup of honey, and ten days of sitting tight while you wait for the concoction to ferment. If all goes well, you should end up with a bit of bottled urine hard cider.
#1. Buy 10 cans of apple juice ( pure pressed ) and pour 9 of them into a suitable container. You must be able to keep the container airtight, so using a carboy (large glass bottle) is best. You can use a large pot or bucket and cover the top with plastic wrap.
#2. Heat up the last can of juice to a near boil, then add 1 cup of honey or sugar and dissolve.
#3. Add the hot sweet mix to the rest of the juice, then add bread yeast to the now warm mixture. Be certain to poke a small hole in the plastic, or plug the top of your carboy with an airlock device ( this allows the CO2 that is generated during fermentation to escape, and it keeps the oxygen out.)
That’s it! in 10 days time the yeast will have fermented the mixture down to an alcoholic beverage (6-7%) that your friends will think is pee. Keep extra Jarate in mason jars next to your computer, because you never know when you’ll need a sip. Duty!
Notes: The longer you wait the better it tastes and the clearer it looks. Using wine yeast or champagne yeast ( $.80 a package ) produces a fairer tasting Jarate. Adding more sugar will boost the final alcohol content, but too much will kill the yeast so be modest. Do not bottle the Jarate before the recommended fermentation period; otherwise you could explode your bottles due to excess carbonation.
Via NerdBalloon. Be a good reader and pay them a visit already.
Ubercharged takes no responsibility for any unwanted pregnancies that may arise as a result of drinking this. You have been warned.
Stumble it!
Grumpy Ant » Blog Archive » It’s Not Indoctrination but the Magic is Sucking You Dry – responded on 14 Sep 2009 at 6:21 pm #
[...] ubercharged.net – Make Your Own Jarate! (No, it's not what you … [...]
Dr. Average responded on 14 Sep 2009 at 6:36 pm #
Mmmmh… Piss.
(Drools)
Jackal responded on 14 Sep 2009 at 7:52 pm #
You do know you just told people under age how to make alcohol right? right?! Think of the children! Why won’t someone think of the children!
SweetLikeGravy responded on 14 Sep 2009 at 9:22 pm #
whoa, I was literally just reading the make the Bonk! article when this was posted!
jeez, whoever thinks of these things must have a lot of time (not to mention yeast and pop rocks)
xeno responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 1:59 am #
http://xs743.xs.to/xs743/09370/2girls1jar189.jpg
jrhather responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 2:10 am #
Xeno…thats a GREAT pic
Mr. Noobinator responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 2:29 am #
@jackal: its not like adults can tell the difference between apple juice and beer by looking at them lol
2tone responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 6:37 am #
Next week:
- How to construct your very own sticky bombs!
-A step-by-step guide to creating your own personal flamethrower!
-Shooting needles at friends for fun and profit!
———————————–
(may try making this at some point)
Chucrute responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 7:07 am #
@2tone
“-A step-by-step guide to creating your own personal flamethrower!”
http://static.iftk.com.br/mt/2008/07/homemade_flamethrower_25_pics.html
There was a guide, but i only found the pictures.
ChrisH responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 8:11 am #
MEADCIDER
HelisPoe responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 9:35 am #
What about Kung-Pu?
Miller responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 9:41 am #
I don’t get it. Pissing in a jar is not rocket science
GoldCrusader responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 10:32 am #
chucrute: That proves that the flamethrower hitboxes are underpowered. They should be like a shotgun.
Also, why do all that when you could just piss in a jar? :/
auhtority responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 12:42 pm #
DO NOT USE NATURAL HONEY. IT CONTAINS YEAST AND YOUR PISS WILL EXPLODE. ya learned that one from experience…
Spy Guy responded on 16 Sep 2009 at 12:03 am #
@Jackal
Hopefully you’re joking, if you are then this is a quite pointless comment, aside from commenting on a good article:
“Good article!”
TF2 is an M rated game, if someone matches that rating they can make their own happy liquid. And if they are kiddies? Then they’re not the intended audience of TF2 or any material closely related to it.
And if they make happypiss with this guide? Hope they put the results on youtube. This world has too few laughs.
Or no, really, don’t make hooch kids.
ExAstris responded on 16 Sep 2009 at 4:28 am #
I have been shown who is the boss!
StickMcgee responded on 16 Sep 2009 at 8:05 am #
1: why not just pee in a jar and throw it at houses on halloween
2: LOL at 1, soo doing that now
3: Where will i find a jar to fit 10 FUCKING APPLE CANS?!
Oh and 4: Carrying over 5 liters of water with you isnt very mobile..
StickMcgee responded on 16 Sep 2009 at 8:05 am #
sorry piss/alcohol
Mr. Noobinator responded on 16 Sep 2009 at 10:56 am #
i had this idea of throwing this piss jar at those kids on halloween…..
but their parents will ban my ass in the next 5 minutes
@stick: get a KEG >:D
gelugon2105 responded on 16 Sep 2009 at 6:17 pm #
Uh… while it is actually apple cider, calling this drink “the Jarate”, which is actually a rather ugly ‘de-buff’, is not exactly appropriate.
GrgoljBlaster responded on 18 Sep 2009 at 8:32 am #
I’ll probably try making this on next holiday or something. Hope I don’t turn my home in a Jarate-covered mess, though
Dirkson responded on 22 Sep 2009 at 11:39 am #
Juice and honey together make a cyser, not an, erm… “meadcider” as one fellow suggested. For best results, DO use the honey, but DON’T make this in an airtight container- Airtight containers /will/ explode, and honey has several natural preservatives that will tend to reduce the change of spoilage. (Although the acidity of apple juice will also help)
SiPlus responded on 23 Sep 2009 at 1:22 am #
Just piss into the jar
Iizanonymous responded on 03 Oct 2009 at 7:21 am #
SiPlus – you have to drink it afterwards.
Yeah, don’t piss in the jar.