Mon Dieu!
When I first saw the Jarate, I wondered how on earth the Sniper would use it. Would he open up the jar then fling his home made juice, with the jar in tact? Or would he, as it turned out to be, just throw the whole jar?
Now, we all know realism has very little say in the world of TF2. But what if it did? I’ve pondered at this and made a comic for your amusement:
(Click for great success)
For a better quality version, see it on my Deviant.
Constructive feedback is very much welcome.
Pyrit on June 13th 2009 in sniper, spy, team fortress 2, the funny, ubercharged
Stumble it!
Xriloku responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 8:03 am #
I always was curious about that…
GeneralGoose responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 8:04 am #
Aces!
n00bie51 responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 8:12 am #
Ah, this was great.
Baejung92 responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 9:25 am #
This could have been an offensive weapon…
Props on the comic.
FlyingHat responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 9:36 am #
I would love it if the broken glass actually did shit.
The comic wasn’t bad at all, I’d like to see it inked and coloured digitally.
Winter responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 11:11 am #
In fact, it’s probably more likely it would bounce off your head intact. Glass is brittle, but it’s very very hard.
But hey, “realism” is not the name of the game here
Gee-Man responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 11:26 am #
Ha ha, I always did wonder why the broken shards of glass imbedded in your opponent’s skull did absolutely no damage at all. Combine that with the bacteria in urine and your opponents should more likely die of a nasty infection than the humiliation of being covered in pee.
clamps responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 12:12 pm #
@Gee-Man there is no bacteria in urine. its actualy very sterile and can be used to disinfect wounds in the absence of first-aid
FlyingHat responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 12:29 pm #
Plus, it is very handy for putting out small fires.
Corodan responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 12:42 pm #
And in rare cases, drink it.
I laughed so hard at this comic.
{Legacy} General Gentlemen responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 1:08 pm #
Ah, piss. Is there nothing you can do?
Spydra responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 1:55 pm #
The sniper was a tracker in the outback before he became a crazed gunman right? The jarate should have a taunt where he takes a chug and it refills like 10 health.
I guess thats where valve draws the line, though.
Small Ivory Knight responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 1:55 pm #
It’s not recommended to drink. It’ll dehydrate you really quick.
Spydra responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 1:57 pm #
Won’t dehydrate you faster than not drinking it. Plus it has all those nutrients.
Jiggles responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 3:18 pm #
Spy looks like he’s in a dressing gown, but maybe that’s because I’ve been in one for too long.
Firepowered responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 7:28 pm #
Cheers.
lol responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 7:41 pm #
If you want to start complaining about realism then talk about why no one has assault rifles on tf2 and unloading 2 clips of bullets doesn’t kill anyone.
Killa-Ewok responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 8:39 pm #
Why have nearly all posts in Ubercharged been about Jarate
Zorgulon responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 10:24 pm #
@Killa-Ewok
It’s a goldmine of comic potential.
Killa-Ewok responded on 13 Jun 2009 at 11:43 pm #
Then explain why none of these posts have managed to make me even chuckle?
Pyrit responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 12:53 am #
@Killa-Ewok
Comedy is subjective. What some find funny, others don’t.
Killa-Ewok responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 1:32 am #
How hard is it to rip off comedy out of a JAR OF PISS? What here’s been done is ripping the comedy out of it/whining about the poor quality of it.
Pyrit responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 2:18 am #
What? I can’t speak for anyone else, but this comic actually has nothing to do with the way the Jarate works ingame and whether or not it’s good or bad. Personally, I love using the Jarate and I think it’s a great unlock. I think you’re looking too far into it.
Matt responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 8:32 am #
Jesus Christ, Ewok, lighten up! If you want to see a non-jarate article, write one and submit it!
Spydra responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 9:55 am #
GRRR THATS NOT EVEN THAT FUNNY
You sound like some one who might have been on the receiving end of a urine assault and these jokes hit a little close to home.
Deepsmeg responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 10:50 am #
Killa Ewok just thinks that jarate is a pisspoor unlock.
User responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 1:33 pm #
BADUM-PSH
ah madlep did enough urine puns in his last article :p
Spock responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 6:14 pm #
Kill-ewok, none of these posts have made you chuckle because you are an Ewok! These are human jokes!
Nick responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 7:11 pm #
I cannot think of what is worse.
Being on fire for 10 seconds or being hit in the head with a jar of piss……yep piss is worse.
Killa-Ewok responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 9:43 pm #
Oh shut up everyone
I like Jarate, but is there really nothing else but Jarate to write about?
Mr. Noobinator responded on 14 Jun 2009 at 10:29 pm #
actually, if the glass shard could slightly damage and slows down the enemy who steps on it WOULD BE FREAKING GREAT!
*sends email to valve*
FlyingHat responded on 15 Jun 2009 at 3:41 am #
Bah, bad TFC memories.
Toakal responded on 15 Jun 2009 at 11:10 am #
Energy force fields and med kits? http://www.ubercharged.net/2009/03/16/howtfworks-medical-mysteries/
perhaps the glass is made of magnetic material and the force field starts to malfunction due to the fact that there are shards of glass and piss lodged in it, resulting in it being less able to fend off attacks, and you get the 35%+ damage.
gelugon2105 responded on 15 Jun 2009 at 1:27 pm #
While it comes out of one’s body quite sterile, urine attracts germs, especially those that feed off nitrates and pumps out toxic stuff like ammonia. Therefore, it cannot and should be not be applied physically to any injury in open, atmospheric air.
Also, the sterility of urine differs from person to person. A person with hardly functioning filtration organs would produce rather health-threatening urine indeed – as in the case of the Sniper, whose pee actually causes extra damage on opponents.
And yes, piss dehydrates oneself if consumed.
Really, your body rejected and secreted this stuff. Do you really need and want to put it back into your system?
DON’T DRINK PISS.
Gabe newell responded on 23 Jun 2009 at 2:21 am #
The spy has a super tough adamantium shell under his mask. A good immune system and a clothes peg may come in handy as well.