My (Short) Unlock System Analogy
Imagine you are an 8 year old kid. Your dad spends weeks telling you how great your Birthday presents are going to be. You spend days wondering what they will be and he lets you shake a different box every day. He had always given you awesome gifts in the past.
The day finally comes and you get in the car with him to go get a cake. Once you are on the highway, your dad takes out brass knuckles, beats the s*** out of you, and kicks you out of the car. Then, hurt and angry, you walk back to your house. When you get there you see all your friends leaving the house with your awesome presents. You see your dad and he hands you 3 of the same video game you got last year. When you ask him what is going on he tells you he is giving them to you to trade with your friends.
All your friends bought this game too but when you go to try to leave the house to try to trade with them your dad locks you in the basement.
theminipanda on May 23rd 2009 in rants, sniper, spy, team fortress 2, valve
Stumble it!
BJ Blazkowicz responded on 23 May 2009 at 8:16 pm #
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Wormatsu responded on 23 May 2009 at 8:21 pm #
What kind of mindreading psychos are you guys?
Salith responded on 23 May 2009 at 8:28 pm #
My soul is revealed in this rant =D
GeneralGoose responded on 23 May 2009 at 8:36 pm #
That’s one screwed up family.
Makes mine look like saints.
Short and sweet.
Qba [PL] responded on 23 May 2009 at 8:57 pm #
It’s so obvious isn’t it?
The problem is they (valve) either don’t play any games or have the corporate view of reality where they make decisions based on some bs buzz words to “engage the players”, “casual gaming”, “player experience”…
Bunni responded on 23 May 2009 at 8:57 pm #
When life give you lemons…
But in this case, it’s a different yellow liquid.
Comissar Cain responded on 23 May 2009 at 9:01 pm #
Yes, it’s obvious that Valve is only in it to push the Corporate Agenda, that’s it!
I mean, why else would they continue to support a game several years old with new content (which take developer man hours, not inconsiderable ones, you know?), address player complaints (if you think people didn’t complain about Achievement unlocks you’re delusional), continue to make a ‘Meet the…’ Series (When in reality they have plenty of ‘advertising’ material for it already), and oh–did I mention buck the trend of recent companies and not charge a dime for PC players for it?
Or maybe, just maybe, they came forward with a new system and have to tweak it to get it right.
It’s been one day since patch, and we get two of these kinda posts in a row. That’s… disappointing.
Hoha responded on 23 May 2009 at 9:36 pm #
Everyone out there is either whining about not getting their unlocks, or spitting out how stupid valve is every minute. But….here ? In ubercharged.net? Seriously, two in a row posts about how frustrated u fellas about not getting weapon unlocks is a disappointment indeed. Ubercharged.net is losing its credibility.
b00n responded on 23 May 2009 at 9:48 pm #
From now on you should only be allowed to post articles that tell us how great the new unlock system is.
Heavy responded on 23 May 2009 at 9:51 pm #
Wahahahaha! Cry some more!
nipzor responded on 23 May 2009 at 10:28 pm #
I greatly dislike the new system aswell, in case of the weapons at least. Any unlock system will suck, they should just give them out to everyone – period. For the hats, i think its pretty okay, but the trade system? Wtf, tf2 becomes an mmo
RealLifePudding responded on 23 May 2009 at 10:39 pm #
True!
the milestones were great. you had a goal! achievement X achievements to get weapon Y.
now it’s play time X to get weapon Y, maybe.
i would not want the weapons for free. i would like to earn them. i want to proove myself, that i’m worthy to wield them!
trade system? -> http://cgi.ebay.de/TF2-Unlockable-Weapon_W0QQitemZ130308251471QQcmdZViewItemQQptZOnlinespiele?hash=item1e56fa1f4f&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1229|66%3A2|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318|301%3A1|293%3A1|294%3A50
Eran responded on 23 May 2009 at 11:00 pm #
Eran doesn’t play as Sniper or Spy.
Does this updated weapon system affect him? No. Because he’s got Payload Race, and Payload Race is so awesome, he doesn’t care. Eventually, he’ll get the huntsman or something, and he’ll trade it for the Heavy’s hat.
The analogy makes no sense either. After all, the “awesome presents”, you had to get them from hours grinding achievements.
Spybait responded on 23 May 2009 at 11:08 pm #
Why does his pee glow?
Anon responded on 23 May 2009 at 11:17 pm #
They said they’re going to fix the bugged system. Isn’t that enough?
ExAstris responded on 24 May 2009 at 12:36 am #
This rant is awesome.
@Eran: Have you even played TF2 since the new system came out?
@Anon: No, it’s not, because the concept for the system is itself flawed. Fixing bugs in a bad system will only prove how much the system sucks.
Theminipanda responded on 24 May 2009 at 12:44 am #
@anon
no. Valve only has 8 updates they are going to release. Update days are supposed to be fun, not boring and frustrating.They have ONE shot to make the update day fun for everyone. I LIKE playing TF2, but every game gets boring after about 3 hours of playing (If you are alone) and TF2 is no different. I played 6 hours. Combine that with seeing messages telling you when someone else who just joined the server got the item you have been grinding for for hours, and the fact that you still get your old items and what do you get? A shitty update.
Nexxus9 responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:10 am #
Funnily enough, I’ve been hitting the achievement servers again, only this time I logged into “achievement_idle” where you can leave the game on spectator to get the weapons. I left it on overnight (so thats a good 8 to 9 hours of “play”) and I got Jarate but thats it. Looks like I’ll be doing this a while longer to get all the unlocks.
Now here in the states its Memorial Day weekend, so this bug prolly won’t even start to get fixed until Tuesday. Still, I think this new system was ill thought out. Why would a guy like Jening! have to play many more hours in order to unlock the new spy toys. Hasn’t that dude played enough aleady? Why couldn’t they use a player’s existing timeplayed as a basis for whether you get the weapon unlocks?
ExAstris responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:15 am #
Nexxus9: Because they like to make money, not to help players, or so it seems right now.
bjj responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:37 am #
Yes, because a few mistakes they will correct through playtesting herald the end of Valve making great games.
Will all of you stop being so childish?
http://fever-chill.net/images/loltroll.jpg
Teatime responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:41 am #
Well, Iguess the article of theminipanda might be hitting the nail on its head in ways he didn’t intend, by channeling the whining of spoiled and impatient children.
That’s more like something I’d expected on the steam forums :-p
kanodin responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:52 am #
I’m conflicted on this. On the one hand I understand the frustration behind not getting any of the new weapons, waiting forever only to get an old one, and seeing people all around you with them and loving them.
On the other hand however, I feel everyone is taking this too far, yes it’s annoying right now, but the system isn’t working right, unfortunate but no reason to say scrap it all together instead of giving them a chance to fix it. This is Valve people, they always get it right eventually, ya just gotta give them some time.
What responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:54 am #
So Mini, what you are saying is that they only have one chance to make the perfect game for everyone?
That’s kind of shortsighted imo,
if game producers only had one chance, all games would most definitely suck, you’ll have to agree with that, right?
Now, they’re going to fix this patch, and everyone will be happy, because there’s another great patch!
Please, don’t whine about not getting any items, if you didnt’ get any after ‘grinding’ for 6 hours, you don’t really deserve them.
Shouldn’t you be playing for fun? Because secretly, that’s what I think valve’s secret plan is. To make everyone playing this game have fun.
HelisPoe responded on 24 May 2009 at 2:07 am #
@Hoha
What credibility? You want credibility? Go to RPS or Kotaku if you want that.
Phh…. idiot.
nub responded on 24 May 2009 at 2:54 am #
What:
The problem with that is that since the update, all I’ve wanted to do is play with the new sniper and spy stuff. I’ve been killed by the Huntsman and Ambassador too many times to count already, yet all I’ve managed to pick up is an Axetinguisher.
They should have taken out duplicates since you can’t even trade weapons yet. Putting that in now was stupid now matter how you look at it, and it’s a big part of the problem (if it weren’t for duplicates, then instead of the Axetinguisher I would have at least one of the new items to dick around with).
Exten-z responded on 24 May 2009 at 3:05 am #
Sounds like my dad, but he beats me with empty wine bottles
Killa-Ewok responded on 24 May 2009 at 3:23 am #
I don’t want to play TF2. At least for the free weekend, that is. All the servers are full and the ones that aren’t are full of achievement-whoring (yes, the free weekend idiots are doing this. Spy/sniper action ffs) idiots.
Wazzle responded on 24 May 2009 at 3:33 am #
While this is currently very true, I trust that Valve has the good sense to tweak it. It’s just a matter of how quickly they tweak it, and it had better be damn soon.
Monchberter responded on 24 May 2009 at 3:46 am #
@ Helispo
Ah yes, ‘Rock, Paper Shotgun’. Great site.
dekichan responded on 24 May 2009 at 4:23 am #
@teatime
I’m thinking Dudley Dursley of Harry potter… XD
I think the drop rate should be much higher and have it be affected by play just a little, like how crits work.
What responded on 24 May 2009 at 4:31 am #
@Nub.
Yes, that’s very true. And I totally agree on you with that.
But if you look at it that way..
That’s not that bad is it? That’s just a small negative side compared to a great few pluses.
arstal responded on 24 May 2009 at 5:37 am #
It hasn’t made me want to not play, but it is frustrating and annoying, and I think this update has been a launch fail.
I’d be tempted to play a server that bans all unlocks now just to make it fair.
Sinister Minister responded on 24 May 2009 at 6:09 am #
Jeez, Minipanda, spoiled little baby much?
Christian Beck responded on 24 May 2009 at 6:50 am #
This analogy doesn’t really work. Here, I’ll fix it.
Its not you’re birthday, but your dad hired you to do yard work and gives you gifts once you complete specific jobs. Then he decided that he would only you gifts at random, and the more you work, the more he *might* give you a gift.
the rest is fine. Oh, and i hate the new system too.
Wanyal responded on 24 May 2009 at 6:58 am #
You forgot to mention that the boy is a spoiled brat who is never happy with that his father gives him.
Salmonking responded on 24 May 2009 at 7:35 am #
Hey guys, cool idea! Let’s cry some more about a system Valve ALREADY SAID was flawed!
Clever selfish drivel, but selfish drivel nonetheless.
Kool4Kats responded on 24 May 2009 at 7:53 am #
Ahahahahahahahaha.
Ahahahahahahahaha!
That was mean, but beautiful.
Slipstream responded on 24 May 2009 at 8:04 am #
Plain ranting of a simpleton. I grade this as a D.
nub responded on 24 May 2009 at 8:15 am #
@what:
Yeah, I don’t agree that this new system is terrible or anything, I just wish they hadn’t released the update in this state, and that they would fix it, since they’ve even acknowledged there’s a problem with the frequency at which the player gets items.
I would also like to point out to everyone making the analogy that this will turn TF2 into an RPG that in an RPG you get loot for killing enemies, not randomly. What most of the people dissatisifed with this update suggest would make TF2 more akin to an RPG than what Valve has done with this update.
nub responded on 24 May 2009 at 8:15 am #
Argh, dissatisfied not dissatisifed
nub responded on 24 May 2009 at 8:17 am #
Also, as long as I look like an idiot, can someone tell me what the password on the server is? I’m getting tired of pubbing.
Derf0 responded on 24 May 2009 at 8:55 am #
HAHA thats some good stuff. My feelings exactly.
Robert64 responded on 24 May 2009 at 9:03 am #
I got my first weapon drop, after over 10 hours of playing! And it wasn’t even a duplicate of one I already had!
Granted, it was the Ambassador, but still…
Gerkuman responded on 24 May 2009 at 9:19 am #
…
See, what did I tell you on the last article. Whoever’s on the article selections comittee needs to be replaced, before Ubercharged becomes Valve Forums Mk.2
Valve did not do this on purpose to piss you off. These analogies, while coming from legitimate concerns, mislead people.
If we’re going to go by an analogy, it’s like a scientist in a lab making a new type of superball, that hands it out after the first test. I think Valve should’ve held off on the unlockable system so they could test it (to make sure it worked, which it hasn’t, because it bugged) and to implement the system that allows people to trade, and steer the collection of the items they really need. Valve are not jerks. They’re just silly nerds. XD
Eran responded on 24 May 2009 at 9:33 am #
@ex.. Whatever his name is, can’t copy-paste on iPod:
Yes, I have. I’ve been playing hoodoo and pipeline. And *gasp!* I’m ENJOYING the update. You should do the same.
ExAstris responded on 24 May 2009 at 9:58 am #
ExAstris. It’s not long, surely not longer then er… whatever it is. xD
I have been playing, and have been enjoying it, but you said the “awesome presents have to be gotten by grinding achievements,” which is no longer true, as anyone who had bothered to read the post would know.
ExAstris responded on 24 May 2009 at 10:16 am #
I meant, “surely only slightly longer then.” Oops.
DoomGuy responded on 24 May 2009 at 10:29 am #
Totally agree
Qba [PL] responded on 24 May 2009 at 11:44 am #
@Comissar Cain,
They are not a charity, they don’t do it “for the community”. Each class pack is an infusion of fresh sales. People talk about it, try it and some of them will buy it. Probably they sell more copies in two days flowing a class update than in the previous month.
I hope that after checking the pie charts on Monday morning they will change their minds.
On the other hand we already paid for it, so we are expendable. The people who get the most from this crappy system are the potential customers for whom Ubersaw is something new and exciting.
BTW check this out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1HhF1fd-yo
dekichan responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:01 pm #
@ Qba
Hilarious!!!
Mr. Shiny Object responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:10 pm #
No, i do not like the update, but it should be tweaked if not returned to the way it was.
The thing that irks me is that only playtime counts. I think that achievements and kills should increase your chances of finding an item.
Also, I think they shouldn’t have given duplicates until they worked out a trading system. The only other reason to get duplicates is if you have all of them, and that would be mean to people who want it.
Sarda responded on 24 May 2009 at 1:40 pm #
WHAT THE #*(&$ PEOPLE? WHO IS LETTING ALL THESE ARTICLES THROUGH?
Come on, take 30 seconds and post a single paragraph article about how VALVE THEMSELVES admitted that the system isn’t quite working the way it’s supposed to, and stop approving articles that say ABSOLUTELY BLOODY NOTHING other than that the author doesn’t pay attention to anything.
Alec responded on 24 May 2009 at 2:50 pm #
Heh, so this is what Ubercharged is becoming… Thanks, but no thanks. I think I’ll move on to one of the many other TF2 blogs.
Saxton Hale responded on 24 May 2009 at 2:58 pm #
Okay, so maybe it’s just the frustration of not getting anything new, but TF2 seems to be freezing up a hell of a lot more since the update. I haven’t gone more than an hour and half without having to rejoin a server because of the constant freezing, and it seems every 3rd time or so I disconnect TF2 locks up my whole computer and I have to reset it.
Ro/b¹ responded on 24 May 2009 at 3:37 pm #
Haha, best article on the update yet.
@ Saxton Hale, I had the same thing, but for some reason it started working perfectly today. I have no idea why to be honest.
General Balls responded on 24 May 2009 at 3:44 pm #
You’re all mad, bruddahs.
Every single one of yez.
That said, I’m not sure why this got through. Not enough meat in it for my liking. Less bacon, more steak.
Comissar Cain responded on 24 May 2009 at 3:48 pm #
@QBA
Of course there are business reasons for it. They’re a business, they don’t get to make games unless they act like one. But instead of re-releasing barely-improved sequels, charging for DLC LIKE ALMOST EVERY OTHER COMPANY IN THE MARKET RIGHT NOW, or any of the other instances, they’re offering free levels, additional equipment and extra perks, for zero charge. I’m pretty sure us ‘already paid’ customers are benefitting pretty nicely, unless of course we’re a bunch of whiny babies who don’t just want it but want right now–like five seconds ago now. It’s been about 48 hours. In that time, Valve has said, several times that the system needs additional tweaking–it’s the weekend, so they’re not likely working. That’s right, they’ve heard customer feedback, and they’re working on a fix. A fix for a system that was a fix for–you guessed it–complaints by the players.
And frankly, you should appreciate that Valve is attempting to boost a game utterly reliant on the multiplayer component. I welcome new players: As long as there’s a regular flow, I can still play.
In short: Grow up, stop being impatient, you’re being unreasonable. There are valid criticisms of the system, yes: Attributing it to greedy money-palming corporate sharks is pure hyperbole.
BTW: Boring meme is boring.
Sirus responded on 24 May 2009 at 5:53 pm #
“CRY SOME MORE!”
“You disgust me.”
“What the hell was that crap?”
“Ya’ bleedin’ idiots!”
“You are a maggot, hatched from a mutant maggot egg!”
“Take it like a man, shorty.”
“You are trying my patience!”
“Ahhh, that was rubbish.”
“MMphmmfmmfMMMFFF!”
anonymouse responded on 24 May 2009 at 7:35 pm #
To be fair it is kind of (read as: extremely) annoying playing for several hours and receiving three kritzkreigs a scout’s pistol and Sasha.
Given I have had the kritzkrieg for about a year and the rest are basic items that I started with, it’s silly right now.
I can appreciate what Valve is trying to do, but it would have been more successful to finish the system before making the changes that really, in my opinion, rely on the system being present to be worthwhile.
I know, I’ll live, I can be good and wait for Valve to sort things out, but personally I’m more worried that about 90% of my favourite servers been completely unjoinable for anyone since the update.
RealLifePudding responded on 24 May 2009 at 10:54 pm #
many people here said, that we shouldn’t play tf2 now just to get the weapons, but to play for fun.
i aggree at that. BUT there is always a little voice in my head, that tells me:” c’mon, even if you played 2h now… play another hour and you’ll probably get the new item…”*gollum voice immitation*
i played yesterday for about 3h straight and it was hell of a fun, really nice. but allways got frustrated when i see new player with new items. then i think, why them, not me. in these 3h i was always in the top5, even top3. had 60/20 k/d ratio. but i got nothing. GRRR
RealLifePudding responded on 24 May 2009 at 10:57 pm #
sry for doublepost^^
new itemsystem is great for people, who just started to play tf2. they’ll get new weapons fast and don’t think, that they are eft allone and that they can really compete.
but all the other player, who know how great it was to achieve the milestones and get a new weapon for each milestone. they are left alone. and these players are most likely the ones, who will play tf2 even longer, thatn people who just joined tf2.
ExAstris responded on 25 May 2009 at 8:14 am #
@All those who keep shouting “ZOMG STOP WHINING THIS IS TURN INTO STEAM FORUMZ!!111oneone”
Firstly, do you have any idea how whiney you all sound?
Secondly, if we don’t express our opinions, if we don’t make our beliefs heard, nothing will change. The reason we’re complaining is because Valve has a history of listening, and obviously, their attitude towards their customers has never been “ZOMG STOP WHINING.”
And again: if you don’t like what Ubercharged is becoming, you are welcome to stop posting here
Sarda responded on 25 May 2009 at 9:35 am #
ExAstris: You’re forgetting one extremely simple point, being that Valve already admitted it was bugged BEFORE any of these articles and somewhat like 1 DAY after the update was released. They would have been fixing it no matter how many people complained, because they ALREADY KNEW it wasn’t working out the way it was originally planned.
This isn’t like the backburner health bonus, where something they intentionally did turned out to be a bad thing. This is something they tried to do, failed, and are now trying to do it right.
Spy Guy responded on 25 May 2009 at 5:31 pm #
*Ahem*
CRY SOME MORE!!!
Some people can’t stop complaining, can they?? When we got the Milestones system you were all like:
“Waaaahh! Fifty medics per team! How can I be medic now?”
“LOL Pyro rush is coming!”
“I hate achievment servers”
So they take your advice (whining) to heart and makes another system to remedy that, well what do you know? It works, people don’t complain about the milestone system anymore, now they go:
“WAAAAAHHH!!! WAAAAAHHH!!! I have to play to get stuff! *sniff* I just want the pretty gun and the Jar of Piss, why *sniff* why do you hate me Valve?”
People complaining now make me sick! Enjoy the other benefits the update brought and play as if it weren’t there, then party when you get something.
Seriously, no wonder there are misanthropes in this world when people behave like this!
To sum it up: *epic facepalm*
Notger responded on 25 May 2009 at 7:47 pm #
Spy guy, you are totally right.
Hey, I can enjoy playing pub now even though an update has been launched. That is great! No more servers with spamming a certain class, no more silly achievement grinding … I like it.
And I already got my bottle of yellow fluid.
Yes, I do want the Ambassador dearly and yes, I would have set up a fake server with bots to get the achievements fast and yes, this is now impossible.
But I do not whine around. I can play Demo all day and get bonus items … sounds like heaven for me.
Gee-Man responded on 25 May 2009 at 9:33 pm #
Eh, it doesn’t get to me too badly. Admittedly, I’ve only gotten 2 duplicates so far and one legitimate item (I swear, if I don’t get my overcompensating handcannon soon, I will begin to rant as well) but that’s not my main issue.
What really grinds my gears are the ignorant dumbasses who still insist on playing either Spy or Sniper even though class doesn’t determine unlock.
Really, I don’t mind 6 Pyros or 7 Scouts anymore because I finally realized what is the most useless team make-up of all: 7 Snipers, 4 Spies, and 1 Pyro/Medic/Scout (me).
Himmelstoss responded on 26 May 2009 at 2:50 am #
Good rant.
No really, I feel the same way. Totally irritating. What am I supposed to be doing with an extra flare gun, when I don’t even play pyro?
noodleboy347 responded on 26 May 2009 at 4:13 pm #
Dear God, you’re right! That’s just how I feel!
Brian_Black responded on 27 May 2009 at 12:11 am #
I’m not sure where I found this, I just know I’m repeating it and that it rings true to me:
“It seems to me that this new system was designed with the sole purpose of rewarding the player for doing what they would otherwise be doing: playing the game.”
Granted it’s not that simple, and it does provide a bountiful source of rage as I discover my 3rd can of Bonk!. However, when I finally got my first of the new unlocks (dead ringer), it really was a thrill, despite the fact that I’m much more interested in both the Huntsman and Jarate. It gave new functionality to a class that desperately needed it. It also removed the requirement to achieve.
Previously, achievements were obstacles to the unlocks, which really defeats the purpose of achievements, AND encouraged 18 of class X on a server. In the current system, and I believe this is the point of frustration, the obstacles are unknown: every set amount of time you have a CHANCE of getting an item. So while this is the most fair system in the strictest sense of the word, it can also be seen as the most annoying. This new system also lets everyone play the classes that they would otherwise play as, which is a frequently forgotten benefit of this method.
Any system will have its pros and cons. I’m just afraid most people are a little quick to leap on the cons of this particular system. And really, if you want the new items that badly, join an idle server. It’s the new achievement server, AND it’s impossible to grief!
Brian Black
Brian responded on 27 May 2009 at 2:33 pm #
What if Valve had decided to release maps in the way of unlocks? You start with ctf_2fort, and every hour you’ve got a chance to unlock a new map to play. Don’t complain, you’re getting new content for free! And these new maps and game modes (that you haven’t gotten yet) are lots of fun, but they’re really sidegrades to other maps, so if you don’t have them, you’re not really missing out. Also, yes, you may receive tc_hydro five or six times in a row. Your friend who’s played all of two hours total will get plr_pipeline, cp_dustbowl, pl_badwater, and this cool pl_frontier (a rare drop) within ten minutes of logging in.
But you can unlock them while you have fun with 2fort, don’t complain!
Joebucks of Gang Garrison 2 responded on 30 May 2009 at 2:11 am #
I have a better analogy. You’re in a big gaming competition, and there are a crapload of fantastic prizes, though you have a few from last year, but they’re not giving them to you so it’s cool. I mean, you don’t need two microwave ovens or two universal remotes, or other things you only need one of. However, the next year, after showing off some of the best crap you’ve ever seen, they hand you a raffle ticket. Through the competition, they randomly call out numbers and people go up and get their stuff. However, since you have all the stuff from the last years and they do, too, you usually get something you got last year. Some people are getting called so often that they already have all the neatest stuff, and you, though still frequently getting some stuff, have gotten 12 microwave ovens. You go to trade with someone who got something nice, but it turns out he’s a re-re. In fact, nearly everyone who got something nice is a re-re. The thing he got was a bed sheet set, and while he doesn’t need one because he sleeps in hay, he still won’t let you have it. He just stares at it, guffawing every few seconds. And you are stuck with your microwave ovens.