TF2 Updates That 99.5% of People Can’t POSSIBLY Complain About
Let’s face it; every TF2 update, at one point or another, as part of a pack or not, small, big, king size, announced or unannounced, kept or removed, has met with some dissatisfaction (or just plain bitchiness) by someone or another. Every pack that has been announced has met it’s quote-unquote criticisms (amongst praise, of course, but I’m not getting into that today), whether it has been the Pyro packs (”OMFG NERF NAO PYRO OP”), the Heavy packs (”Why should I use Natascha”), the Scout packs (”OMG SANDMAN OP”), or the Sniper packs “That’s not teh way to ply snipar omg OP!”
They should call you whiners, Dr NoooOOOO!
You have it, I have it. I’m still a little bitter about the nerfed (and disguised) backstab hitbox, but welcome the tightening of the minigun (although I’m probably killed more by it than I use it). The Demoman has been nerfed multiple times, something I don’t disagree to, but which some might. The Engineer has been buffed, which I thought was a great idea (balanced, too), but which some took (instant) distaste to.
Regardless, whether or not the claims are valid, I struck inspiration. And I asked myself; what updates could Valve bring out that nobody could possibly complain about? And I thought up some. (Of course, there are still going to be whiners for nothing other than the fact that they want attention, but I won’t get into the scientific details)
A Sapper Taunt
This one’s been bugging me a little (only a little) for a while; why CAN’T the sapper have it’s own taunt animation? There’s no reason not to, really, unless maybe Valve can’t think up anything or are being a little lazy with it. I can imagine the spy pressing a few buttons or examining the device, perhaps even spinning the device on a finger.
Okay, maybe the sapper isn’t a weapon in the traditional sense because it only attacks buildings. But neither is the Medigun or the Disguise Kit, so why not? This one I’d like to see, Valve, in a possible update. Just another way for the Spy to be awesome.
Beep boop beep
And throw in a taunt for the Engineers PDAs while you’re at it.
New Maps
Oh wait, we’ve had a ton of complaining about that too.
Awesome map. Play it. pl_cranetop.
But actually, I don’t think complaints about new maps are valid for the most part. Why? For the simple fact that you don’t bloody HAVE to play them. And let me establish this first: (constructive) criticism != complaining.
I’m all for criticism of new maps, community or Valve-created, possibly to improve upon them and/or make them more fun to play. This is acceptable, but it’s simply not possible, should Valve suddenly decide to release a map today alone, to say that “Map X has ruined TF2.” If you don’t like it, nobody’s stopping you from going back to 2fort.
Being a huge custom map junkie (and having his main server be a primarily custom based one), I know that the community has the ability to make some terrific levels. Valve has hand-picked some of these and added it to the list because they believed they were worth playing, and on-par with anything they might create. I enjoyed Egypt and Junction before they were made official, but some “don’t”. Afraid of new things, maybe. Most people don’t complain about new maps, but a select few that I’ve met do. All I can say is, if you like Badwater better, you can always go play Badwater. It’s a good map.
Of course, changes to current maps are something you COULD be unhappy with, but that’s another topic.
Removal of 2fort
Bet that got your attention, huh?
Naw, I’m kidding. I’m not that harsh. It’d be stupid of me to diss people who diss maps and then diss a map myself when I can just not play it.
Well, I don’t. But I do occasion the Tempest 24/7 2fort #2, mostly to do this. And grief the snipers in other ways, because they deserve it.
Alternate Animations
The next carriage on my thought train while thinking up the sapper animation. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was an extra button that allowed you to perform a different taunt for each weapon? Sure, it’s a bit of work, but Valve employees are pretty hardworking (if slow and fussy).
I'm an equal opportunity ass-kicker!
This would be separate from the new weapon taunts (specifically, the KGB and Sandman ones). You’d press something like “h,” and instead of slapping his thigh, the Scout would cock his weapon and pose. Or instead of cleaning his suit, the Spy would spin/juggle his revolver. Or, instead of playing air guitar, the Pyro could hold his axe, draw a line in the dirt with his foot, and flick his finger in a “come get me” styled taunt.
Revolver Ocelot
If you can somehow go over “g” to accidentally press “h,” then it’s not something to complain to Valve about, like how your Pentium III can’t run TF2. I can see a problem if people use a custom bind setup, but hey, if you do, you can always rebind taunt #2 to a different key, or remove it altogether. If you’re that boring.
I'm a firestarter
Backstab Hitbox Fix
After playing the Spy for a while, I found that my initial optimism was somewhat premature. The range of the knife’s hitbox had been, to quote TF2wiki, greatly reduced. And to be honest, I’m quite thankful for the return of sidestabs. It doesn’t change the fact that my range is still short, though.
Most Spies I’m sure will be happy to have the old animation back if it means they can have their old range back too. I can’t count the number of times where I expected a stab to register but it didn’t. Consequently, I remain convinced that facestabs and failstabs have BOTH increased a substantial amount. (Yes, that’s me in that vid. I love the irony in the instant “YOU FAIL” by the announcer).
And honestly, if it did make a return, how many could whine? I mean, how did you live with the Spy before that, then?
This is often me.
So that concludes this article. Let me know what you think. I’m especially interested in having alternate taunts, really, because it would spice up the character and charm of TF2. As a final note, if anyone has any suggestions for more (I currently don’t have any), I may make a Part II. Don’t worry, I’ll credit you. =3
Stumble it!
supremesonic responded on 09 May 2009 at 9:09 am #
Hate to say it, but “Make spies look cooler and give them back powers to annoy people” is unlikely to be an update everyone wouldn’t complain about.
Just saying.
Daggity responded on 09 May 2009 at 9:10 am #
Instant kill taunts for everyone prz.
Himmelstoss responded on 09 May 2009 at 9:16 am #
It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I’m all out of gum.
Paper Shadow responded on 09 May 2009 at 9:28 am #
Can you upload that video onto Youtube? I can’t seem to get it to work on Megavideo… :/
Zorgulon responded on 09 May 2009 at 9:37 am #
Well the Sapper doesn’t have a taunt because each class only has three, and the cigarette-flick is much cooler than any sapper-twirl.
That said, it’d be nice to see some new taunts, but I’d rather the unlockables got the new taunts (like the KGB and Sandman already have) than giving the original weapons two. I’d personally like the Kritzkrieg to get the Oktoberfest medigun huff that never made the final game.
Another uncontroversial update- new voice responses. The only classes that acknowledge the Payload gametype at all are the Heavy and Scout, and the Heavy is the only class that responds to getting an uber. It’d be nice to see every class get class-specific domination responses too, like the Scout did.
HelisPoe responded on 09 May 2009 at 10:18 am #
Let the whining commence in 3…….2…….1…….
Sheepshifter responded on 09 May 2009 at 10:20 am #
I agree with these ideas. New taunts would be cool.
Rain responded on 09 May 2009 at 10:26 am #
You shouldn’t be able to face stab like you did in that video.
It’s just wrong!
The fact that you can still do that in the current form of the game is also wrong as hell. Sure, if you’re behind me, you SHOULD be able to kill me.
Not from the side or the front tho. That’s just retarded.
Zanpa responded on 09 May 2009 at 10:51 am #
Cranetop is absolutely not awesome. There are dozens of better custom maps…
And the sapper isn’t a weapon, it’s a building. I don’t think the Engineer has a taunt for the dispenser.
But yep, a Sapper taunt would be cool.
Alternate taunts ? Do not want.
Super Lok responded on 09 May 2009 at 10:57 am #
Perhaps BONK! could get a new taunt as well.
The Scout could crush the can with his head then throw it away.
n00bie51 responded on 09 May 2009 at 11:43 am #
SAC, I’m willing to bet less than 99.5% of the community would agree with you on all of these. (:
Some uncontroversial changes me and my friend discussed:
1.) Right-clicking with the Wrench will only repair structures, and will not upgrade them. It’ll be good for Engies who don’t want to waste any metal and only maintain their Sentry Gun.
2.) For kill notifications, there should be a different visual cue or tinted like Critical Hits for ÜberCharged players. So, if a Medic Übers a Heavy and they go on a tremendous owning spree, you’ll be able to tell they’re ÜberCharged from the kill notifications, too. This way you know somebody got leet Über rage on the other side of the map, if you’re not there.
3.) There should be different kill notifications between players that are killed from after burn or direct contact damage from flames (which I can imagine may be tricky to work out), and different kill notifications for the Back Burner and the Flame Thrower.
4.) Context-sensitive voice commands, similar to what others have mentioned here. If a Soldier runs out of rockets or reloads while the “Help!” voice command, he’ll scream, “Reloading!” If a Heavy is running low on ammo or runs out and hits the Help command, he’ll say, “Sasha need more bollet!” Perhaps it would be more complex and tricky to code, but in general more voice commands and responses would be nice.
Alexander responded on 09 May 2009 at 12:09 pm #
My repsonse:
WHO LET THEM PUT A RED SENTRY IN THE BLU INTEL ROOM?!
Tim responded on 09 May 2009 at 2:19 pm #
Adding new taunts would be a wonderful idea. But whiners would still whine about it. Why? Because they would say ” Valve releases a new pointless feature instead of fixing bugs?”
nineteen responded on 09 May 2009 at 2:28 pm #
@Daggity
>Instant kill taunts for everyone prz.
This.
@Zanpa
>I don’t think the Engineer has a taunt for the dispenser.
AND WHY NOT?! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
@n00bie51
>Context-sensitive voice commands
The general concept is good, but it might become _too_ selective. Typically I’ll be calling ‘Help!’ if I’m getting smashed or ambushed by opponents, regardless of my ammo level. Also, ‘Help!’ already is context sensitive to an extent. Try calling it when you’re attempting to cap a point or push the cart, the voice file used is different & specific.
Ideally a separate bind altogether might be more useful. That, and a ‘Sniper!’ call. They could swap them out for the menu-bound ‘Medic!’ (Who uses that?) and perhaps ‘Move Up!’ (personally I just use it for a bit of variety on ‘Go! Go! Go!’)
Secret Agent Clank! responded on 09 May 2009 at 4:46 pm #
@Sonic: Well, I’m willing to bet that people would take it to reduce the facestab level back. =) And for Spies, failstabs.
@Paper: Sorry, I don’t have an account (or proxy account). =/ If you still can’t get it, it’s basically a ridiculous facestab that should not occur in any circumstance, followed by a very ironic “YOU FAIL” from the announcer (we lost).
@Zanpa: Eh, your opinion, my opinion.
No biggie if the sappers labeled a “building”. Barney in HL1 was labeled a “monster”.
@n00bie: Please take my over-the-top title less seriously tq. (=
@Tim: Heh. True. Although it’s not like they can’t do both.
Magnetro/Gamefr34k responded on 09 May 2009 at 6:29 pm #
Great article.I’d really like to see is taunt kills for everyone and for Valve to allow taunts to kill if the person is launched up. So I could CB taunting pyros into someone etc. Also, I wish valve would publish or make it easier to get some of the cooler phrases some characters do. For instance, “Everyone back to the base, pard’ner” by the Spy. Some of the ones that are really cool but you never hear and no one has any idea how to get them.
Mickyan responded on 09 May 2009 at 6:33 pm #
Instead of new taunts, why not simply using the ones that are displayed during class selection? No extra work for valve and they look very good in my opinion
As for the extra spy taunt, it’s because every character has 3 taunts, so does the spy already, and then they’d have to add a taunt for the engineer’s building tool, you silly!
I’d more like to see a proper taunt for the bonk!
Mickyan responded on 09 May 2009 at 6:37 pm #
yea, forgot to add that of course those would be available only with that class certain weapon
Headwoünd responded on 09 May 2009 at 8:47 pm #
@Tim
This is because I think that time spent for less important features really is wasted time for things that might improve the game more significantly.
And why they can’t do both? Well they can, but they won’t. Because every work in progress would take either longer to finish or would be done sloppy. Which fortunately is not the Valve way.
But whining about your ideas doesn’t mean I’m one of those who whine all the time whenever an update is released. So far TF2 managed to be fun made of quite some win.
Tim responded on 09 May 2009 at 9:18 pm #
I’m talking about the whiners who have such high standards, that anything they get from Valve they expect more.
Headwoünd responded on 09 May 2009 at 11:14 pm #
Yeah screw them =)
Nanosheep responded on 10 May 2009 at 1:45 am #
You forgot the PDA and Destroy Button for the Engineer as usuable taunts.
Soylent Heliotrope responded on 10 May 2009 at 2:28 am #
I propose a small change to the killcam system: generate a second killcam for the guy who assisted in your death.
More possibilities for funny screencaps couldn’t possibly be controversial.
HelisPoe responded on 10 May 2009 at 3:35 am #
Wambulance goes here!
AlphaTM responded on 10 May 2009 at 8:16 am #
Facestabs HAVE increased. I’ve been on both ends of more than I’ve ever been on in my entire TF2 career.
Cupcake, Darn It! responded on 10 May 2009 at 10:54 am #
1. There needs to be a way to know if someone is typing a message, i think. Kind of like voice? The little bubble above their heads?
2. Or, if your name or part of your name is mentioned in chat, it should highlight it or something. I don’t have a mic, and it’s hard to communicate effectively for sapping.
3. Maybe spy could get another voice command for sapping as well? Some people have it scripted (or w/e the proper term is) for text chat, but there’s no voice for it.
4. And maybe spy should be able to taunt even while disguised. More ways to legitimize the spy. Or maybe just to annoy people while he’s charging cloak or waiting. For the hell of it. xD
5. A certain amount of time before the engineer can build a building after it’s been destroyed by an enemy? He builds so quickly, and after the spy dies and finishes destroying it, he can’t communicate to his team until he’s alive. :\
6. And why does destroying your own teleporter make you have to re-upgrade the thing again? Not sure how much this is for or against, just a thought. Is it worth making people re-upgrade? Maybe you sacrifice a greater distance with more time upgrading. W/e’s good, i don’t play engineer a lot though, so i don’t really have a view on it.
yup.
Cupcake, Darn It! responded on 10 May 2009 at 10:59 am #
Oh and PDA and destroy thing take up a lot of real estate on the screen, and i dont know how to change this. Any help? :<
I’ll be back later, after thinking about possible suggestions while doing my homework
Spydra responded on 10 May 2009 at 3:00 pm #
I think it would be just fantastic if they scrapped all the old generic Scout domination clips and made it so that the class-specific ones would play about 80% of the time. I don’t think anyone would miss the old clips, and I’m sure there are plenty who would enjoy ACTUALLY HEARING some of the new ones.
Seriously, “HAHAHA… you got owned” again!?
Coming Second responded on 10 May 2009 at 3:45 pm #
*Remove Junction from the official rota. Replace it with Frontier, Cashworks, Aerospace and Freight.
*Give new voice responses to all the other classes. Don’t all have to be new domination taunts like the Scout; it’d be cool to have a bit of a mix going on, like the Demo says stuff on CTF maps, and the Spy gets things to say if he gets a Revenge on specific classes.
*Fix Medic and Heavy so that the Kritz/Minigun sounds don’t carry over into the waiting to respawn time.
*Fix Dustbowl stage 3 so it isn’t such a Demo clusterfrick.
*Fix 2Fort so it isn’t such a stupid map.
*New gamemode pretty pretty please.
*Give Heavy a small buff.
Secret Agent Clank! responded on 10 May 2009 at 6:10 pm #
Awesome.
@Magnetro: Thanks, pardner. I wish it were possible too, but it IS a glitch. =/ Also, a moving tauntkill would probably be a little breaking too, even if awesome.
@Mickyan: That’s a good idea actually. Bonk taunt plz. Also, you + Zorg, nobody said it HAD to be exactly three.
@Heliotrope: That’s not bad, although implementation could be tricky. Perhaps a smaller screen on the bottom right?
@Cupcake: Whoa. =3 You’re not the same CUPCAKE I know, are you?
1 & 2. Maybe? It might be a little clustery though.
3. I suppose, although I’m generally not in favor of response commands for the Spy. He’s supposed to be stealthy, unlike the Engineer “SPY SAPPIN MAH SENTRY”
4. Couldn’t hurt, except for the taunt times of the actual classes. Animation could be a big deal too. More work for you, Valve.
5 & 6. Engies would complain, and rejoice, respectively.
@Spydra: Too bad there aren’t many actual Scouts who can dominate, eh? XD
@Coming Second: I don’t agree with remove, but those are some pretty good maps. Thirds a bug fix. Heavies… maybe. But I get killed by Heavies a lot, so I’m going to keep quiet. … *ahem*
/longpost
NotPigeon responded on 11 May 2009 at 12:57 am #
I’d just like to say that I would never give up that sexy new fast animation for a range increase.
When we win a round, I like to stand around stabbing the air just so I can see it again and again.
Teatime responded on 11 May 2009 at 4:09 am #
About new maps:
Yes, it would be nice if Valve released more new map, but as mentioned in the article there are tons of custom maps with a number of good ones amongst them.
The main problem here is the reluctance of people to stick with them when they come up in a map rotation (downloading it the first time and then having the patience to learn the layout). In that regard the blame lies more by the community than Valve.
However, what I would like to see would be new game modes. PL was a great new mode and has spawned a good number of great custom maps.
alternate ending responded on 11 May 2009 at 5:23 am #
The alternate animations are a bad idea, were getting an afro for the demoman, what more could you want?
Combyne responded on 11 May 2009 at 8:32 am #
I don’t know why everyone is dissing alternate anims. Like the post said, YOU DON’T HAVE TO USE THEM. And it’s not like other people using them hinders you in any way. Unless you are an animation nazi.
*cough* alternate ending *cough*
I agree with a lot of these ideas, though I’m still contemplating that backstab part. I love that new quick animation.
Tesla Tank responded on 11 May 2009 at 10:35 am #
How about some new Melee animations; for critical hits, or perhaps just variety. Heavies could jab, and then uppercut for a crit.
They added a variety of animations to the HUD, just not the in game models.
carrot responded on 12 May 2009 at 4:17 am #
Heavies do jab regularly and uppercut on crits.
Tesla Tank responded on 12 May 2009 at 4:42 am #
Only in the HUD animation, the actual in game model only has the one punch attack.
Christopher responded on 13 May 2009 at 7:23 am #
The only update I would want is an alert bubble similar to the MEDIC! call to show everyone when a spy placed a sapper on a sentry gun.
Secret Agent Clank! responded on 13 May 2009 at 12:18 pm #
As an extra note, I DON’T want a (merely speculated too, isn’t it?) afro for the Demoman. Spy’s already having it tough enough. =)
Spydra responded on 23 May 2009 at 6:01 am #
I’d like to note that valve made a lot of the changes (and similar changes) suggested in this post and it’s comments with the new update.
jonto responded on 23 May 2009 at 8:00 am #
the new updates r not so good. the scouts r to strong and the engies now have only little help with ammo. they should have left the game alone. I am disappointed with what steam has done to tf2 it is not as fun as it use to be. figures they mess up a good thing by trying please everbody and just screw the game up.