Breaking Point
We woke up at 0600 as usual. I had the usual bland taste in my mouth, it felt like onions. I got up with every part of my body clinging to the warm bed and asking “why?”, “what for do we have to get up?”.
The administrator has scheduled a drill at 0730. As usual.
Another day at work. My list of things to do was piling up with no will on my part to complete any of it. The new upgraded teleporter technology came with a daily barrage of new bug reports and cursings. Some didn’t like the humming sound it made, some didn’t like to have their thumb swapped with their pinky fingers, alas, the usual resistance to change and the never ending eagerness to find fault at my hard work. And then there was the teleport quota, set to 120 for this drill, I had to keep it running throughout the entire thing, all the while trying to keep up a decent sentry amidst complaints about a lack of dispenser, and if there was one, about why it was not level 3 already.
The bell rang, the doors opened and I found myself dashing out with my toolbox in hand at the blink of an eye. Wha – what were they laughing at? My flys open? Some stupid shenanigans, likely, and I had no time for this, not that day, not ever!
Yes, I have to set this sentry up here, perhaps 3 inches from yesterday’s position should make it, here, what the – nnngh!
“Damn idiots! This is their understanding of entertainment, and of friendship!” I thought. I was red with fury and I started kicking and smashing things, waving punches around for a good half an hour. I could see between my bursts and fits that they were getting worried, worried about the magnitude of my disgruntlement.
I took it so far that the drill was canceled. Scout told me how I wasn’t like this before, that I used to be more tolerant and even the instigator of such ‘practical jokes’. Spy nodded in disapproval. He said I was getting old and boring, and that I should lighten up.
Yes, they were right.
I still remember the day that new sales guy from the sentry vendor showed up. I convinced him that it was our company tradition to have our ‘new partners” photographed with some of our technology, you know for good luck or something.
Yeah he wasn’t sure about it, especially when I made him hold Sasha in his arms, almost standing as tall as him, but the sales guy wanted to leave a good first impression, so he grudgingly accepted.
You can pretty much guess that Heavy did not enjoy seeing this photo, his dear Sasha violated in this manner, nor was he willing to ask any questions. Actually he was quite like a wild animal, not unlike a very mad grizzly bear, and the sales guy, after seeing Heavy rip the heater pipe from the wall with his bare hands in a rather unfriendly demeanor, was quite like a scared rabbit and made a run for his life.
I don’t know whether he knew his cheap plastic suit would stick on him in water like duct tape and weigh him down or not, but the guy drowned. The sentry vendor was never heard from again and that’s the story of how and why I had to build a sentry gun of my own design. Heh-heh.
Oh and there was the time when we had Demoman’s bottle filled up with gas from Pyro’s canister. Whoo-hoo, the stuff was too powerful even for the poor lad. He ran around for hours like a fool, climbed on top of the horse statue (oh the statue, that’s a whole different story!) and suddenly went into some sort of bad trip and freaked out.
He cried and wailed and could not get down on his own. It took the rest of the day (and the night) and all of us to bring him down. All activities that day and the next day had to be canceled. Haha! That was one of the two occasions when the administrator suspended our defecation privileges.
…
Yes, my friends, they were right. I was getting lost in the daily crunch, worrying too much and working too much. The administrator gave me the rest of the day off. She knows how to push us to our breaking point and not an inch further. My good friend Spy took a moment off the drill to talk to me.
He said “I know what you need. You need to go out more often.”
I looked at him as if he said something in an obscure language.
“We’re going out tonight.”, he added, “We’ll have a few drinks and meet some ladies.”
Neither was my forte, but I strongly felt that I should go. And go I did…
… but that’s another story.
Stumble it!
Wormatsu responded on 13 Mar 2009 at 10:40 pm #
Now here’s a well-written story that keeps the reader interested the whole way. I can relate to the Engineer completely.
Good job.
Sinister Minister responded on 13 Mar 2009 at 11:02 pm #
Awesome.
Now why can’t we have more stories like this?
Corodan responded on 13 Mar 2009 at 11:40 pm #
Simple and casual, and some good humor.
Well done!
Graven_Image responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 12:05 am #
Oh, man. This almost blows my story out of the water.
Almost.
Keep it up, buddy. I WANT MOAR.
Blitz responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 12:30 am #
Can I has Heavy next?
Killa-Ewok responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 1:27 am #
And where can two costumed, heavily armed (with weapons or other other silly things) get sum ladies?
Dark Master responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 1:32 am #
Drinking isn’t the Engineer’s forte? Do you know anything about engineers?
Step 1, watch ‘Meet the Engineer’ again
Step 2, look at any engineering faculty’s webpage
Step 3, watch any engineering student’s video on youtube.com
As for getting girls, I’d say there just as good as most guys (but on a gaming website, you can get away with that).
Finally, good job on the fanfic, this site has some really good stories.
hain responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 1:47 am #
Dark Master :I am an engineer
Binge drinking, beer drinking and having drinks out are very different topics. And I must humbly say that I am well versed in each.
But that comment was specific to the engie in story, I’d say he’s not good with going out to bars and meeting women. It is not to say he doesn’t drink or he is horrible with women.
Killa : I intend to take them to a bar if I can find the right gmod props and if I can do some photoshopping to put on some different clothes, but at best it will be after Valve makes “Meet the Pyro”, that is, never.
Crazy Dutch Bastard responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 1:51 am #
Great story!
Does he have intimate relations with the Announcer in the bar?
Tanki54 responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 2:34 am #
theses NOTHING thats too strong for demo.
Zorgulon responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 3:24 am #
Top notch posing and writing. Especially the Heavy chasing the GMan with a pipe. Good job!
Killa-Ewok responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 3:32 am #
I keep thinking that the best way for Valve to mess with us is to reveal that the Announcer is a man.
nalfang responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 9:16 am #
I need to write moar before my status as an epic prologue writer is over taken.
Paper Shadow responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 10:49 am #
“I was getting lost in the daily crunch, worrying too much and working too much.”
A thought for those who complained about the Sandman…
Acefighter responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 11:36 am #
As a guy with engie as his MPC, I can say you did him very well. Especally the bit about working and worrying.
Still, the engie is normally downright jolly ingame, which is my only problem with portrayal. Maybe this is something like a few years later? But the flashback stuff was great, especially the bit with the Heavy. Overall, grade-A story, and I hope the final line isn’t a lie.
Ohrice responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 12:44 pm #
I loved the “but that’s another story” parts. Gives it some sort of country-old-folk-tale kind of tone…
Nice work.
Dan responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 2:16 pm #
Hain, how much would you need me to pay you to get a higher res version of the demoman on the horse, terrified?
(also i noticed your steam ID lists you in ‘wayne, nj’, that’s where my brother goes to college)
Thorax responded on 19 Mar 2009 at 5:49 am #
Nice storytelling, Hain. I especially dig your gmod capabilities. Keep ‘em coming!
Thorax responded on 19 Mar 2009 at 5:54 am #
Apologies on the double post, but I must ask the question: why is pyro hunched over a melon in the 3rd picture down?
hain responded on 19 Mar 2009 at 8:04 am #
@Dan : I did put the link over here but I guess it was filtered as spam!
Search for “hain demoman” at tinypic and you’ll find the pic. Cheers for Wayne, NJ, though I’m not a big fan of these parts.
@Thorax : I don’t know, looks like he’s putting down the melon?
User responded on 25 Mar 2009 at 1:45 pm #
Encore!
Boris responded on 01 Apr 2009 at 7:29 pm #
That was awesome I want more stories!!!
And the heavy pic… so cool lol