Don’t Meet the Team
Another update has come and (sort of) gone and we are still no closer to finding out what’s really under the pyro’s mask. Is nobody else bothered by this? Meet the Sandvich was disappointing enough, but it was better than nothing. I have been promising my non-team-fortress-playing friends that they will shortly be able to meet one of the three remaining classes since the heavy update and they’re getting a little impatient. Their desire for amusing machinima videos might turn to a desire for permanently detaching my skin if they are not appeased quickly. So what is the holdup? I have a few ideas.
Perfectionism
Valve has an annoying habit of constantly delaying. They will miss multiple deadlines in the name of “getting things right”. Of course, they usually do get things right so nobody really holds this against them. And I gotta admit, when I watch the next meet the team video (if it ever comes out), I’ll expect a lot. So maybe they’re right to wait.
Or maybe they’re jerks
Entirely possible. I can just picture the programmers sitting in their wicked den, cackling at their own cruelty. Have they no mercy? No. No they don’t. Just look at Team Fortress 2. Valve has ruined it so ruthlessly and so frequently (at least once a week since it was released) that it can hardly be considered a game any more. Now it’s just a virtual torture machine. The missing videos are just another ploy to cause widespread misery. And it’s working. Yes, evil programmers. That has to be it.
Unless
Something happened to the voice actors. Humans are shockingly fragile. I mean one crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chloride, one errant twitch…

and KABLOOIE!
Er. Yes. Thank you.

Any time, laddie.
Thanks?
Anyway, if something were to happen to the voice actors, how would Valve go about finding replacements? Now, you might spout some nonsense about auditions and people being able to imitate voices and the great wealth of talent in the world but the point is that there is nothing they could do. Of course, if this really is/was/will be the reason, you think Valve might say something. Or maybe release a scout update featuring coded voice acting that was actually a cry for help. Have you played the Bonk taunts backwards? Spooky stuff, man.
Alien abduction?
Could be.
Perhaps they no longer think it is effective marketing
That would be a shame. I bought Team Fortress 2 because I met the team (and because of a free weekend). Both of these are excellent strategies for hooking people in; I offer myself as proof. And even when it comes to people like my bloodthirsty friends, the videos spread the knowledge of TF2 around which can’t be a bad thing. After all, if they tell their friends who tell their friends who tell their friends who… well, you can see where I’m going with this. So please, Valve. Let us meet the medic/pyro/spy. And let it be soon.
I’m not sure my skin can handle much more of a wait.

Mailbawx responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 8:28 pm #
The pyro needs a voice actor?
soylent robot responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 8:39 pm #
maybe its because theres only 3 classes left to make videos for, and 5 classes that haven’t got updates yet, so they have to spread them out.
Valve is doing this stuff for free, they dont have to give you any kind of video or anything. indeed, they could fuck up the entire game on purpose and then say “this is what you get for your constant faggoty bitching” and then never touch it again.
who knows, the reason there isnt a video could be because theyre working on something more important, like episode 3 or portal 2.
sorry for the micro-rant, but im sick of people just whining over every single little thing in TF2
soylent robot responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 8:45 pm #
no wait, actually, im not sorry at all
CrabGuy responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 10:10 pm #
I’ll agree with this on terms of me being a TF2 player, but I won’t agree with this on the terms that TF2 players are the most impatient gamers in all of gamertown.
Paper Shadow responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 10:16 pm #
@Mailbawx: Yes, the Pyro needs, and has, a voice actor…
Pyrit responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 10:32 pm #
True fact: The Pyro’s voice actor is the same as the Spy’s (Dennis Bateman).
GeneralGoose responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 10:37 pm #
Well, let us all be honest: the Scout Update was phail.
Anyway, in terms of voice actors, a lot of them were in L4D, the Soldier (who weren’t) was in Meet the Sandvich, and surely we’d know if something happened to them?
Koen responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 11:29 pm #
I’m just hoping that in meet the pyro they don’t answer any question towards it’s gender or even species. Everyone’s got their own little fiction of what is the pyro and Valve answering anything would undeniably ruin it for many. (For me HE is a well bespoke gentleman with something manic about him, a kind of crossing between Hannibal Lecter and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde (go read a book you cave dweller). Whereas for our little Shakespear yesterday the pyro is the embodiment of a modern day Juliet). Didn’t you like Star Wars better before midi-chlorians???? mh????
Unfortunately I’m afraid Valve audience or atleast the part that frequents the steam forums isn’t grown up enough yet to appreciate open ending/mythos, so if they only raise more questions int meet the pyro, Valve may even get a bigger backlash from furious forum ghouls who were hoping Valve would finally reveal the mystery. Let’s just hope I and people who share my opinion out number them.
On another note note, I hope that if Valve are hard at work on a big project – and I hope they are – it better be episode 3. Portal was great, but not the reason I bought the Orange Box. Come on Valve, I need my Freeman fix.
Also for those who get infuriated with steam forum ghouls, I find it help reading the posts with the voices for the TF2 classes, demo and heavy work very well. Having the posts being read my a drunk black scottish cyclops really prevents you getting angry about them. Though heaven forbid you do it in the voice of the scout, as tempting and natural though it may be.
Eran responded on 08 Mar 2009 at 11:46 pm #
I thought the “Meet The Team” team were working on something much bigger.
The TF2 comics.
Bodjo responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 1:15 am #
Haha grell when I first read the “maybe they’re jerks” part, my tired brain assumed you meant that the classes who don’t have meet the team vidoes yet were jerks. Which made sense to me. After all, we’re talking about a cigarette-flicking-backstabber, a crazed German, and HUDDA HUDDA HUH.
Plasto Joe responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 1:58 am #
Missing voice actor? No excuse. They could just visit Ubercharged for a new one. He’d probably have to be a goofball though…
Mr. Noobinator responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 2:04 am #
i bet in the meet the pyro movie, all we gonna hear is HUDDA HUDDA HUDDA
n00bie51 responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 2:13 am #
I’m not upset because for some reason I wasn’t expecting a Meet The Team video. Technically, although we’ve come to expect them during these class pack updates, Valve never said they were even going to release one, so I don’t hold it against them.
Kollega responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 2:20 am #
I see after-release “Meet the team” videos not as marketing strategy,but as a gift to the fans,and i think that voice actors are fine. Valve didn’t proved to be jerks in any way,TF2 comics don’t seem to be SO BIG distraction either. So there’s basically two possibilities.
Possibility one: yes,it’s perfectionism.
Possibility two: they’re making something bigger,and if they do,then it’s probably… animated FILM based on TF2!
JOP responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 3:20 am #
Let us not forget; just a few weeks before the Scout update, Valve added a video page to the Team Fortress blog – including spaces for the classes without a “Meet the…” yet.
So what they are up to, I have no idea; but it would appear that they certainly intend to finish out the remaining videos.
FlyingHat responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 4:16 am #
Ah, I like how our wonderful Black Scot has accompanied us in this post.
Secret Agent Clank! responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 5:07 am #
We waited nine years for TF2. I hardly think we’re impatient at all.
Or at least, you did. I never played TFC HURR HURR HURR.
Surely, they don’t need to spread it out; there ARE other options besides straight up Meet the Team (see Meet the Sandvich)
Ahh, the Pyro and the Spy. The easiest and hardest class to pick up respectively.
And I guess I’m not really all that disappointed. It IS two minutes of awesome, but it IS only two minutes anyway. I’m going back to me PS3 ^^.
Graven_Image responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 6:22 am #
I rather take the “better rather than sooner” approach.
I like having higher quality later than worse stuff sooner.
Sinister Minister responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 6:26 am #
C’mon, most (if not all) of us are Valve fans, we’ve learned patience from their delays and the inevitable greatness that comes from it (nine years for TF2, six years for HL2), so obviously waiting for these videos aren’t a hassle at all.
mew4ever23 responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 10:30 am #
Yeah. If Valve’s holding off the rest of “Meet the Team” because they’re busy with something more important, like ep3 or Portal 2, I an OK with that. Similar note, I too would like to see episode 3. I certainly hope that they don’t rush episode 3 though. If gaming history has taught us anything, it’s that you don’t rush these things.
Anyway, if the Pyro has the same actor as the Spy, they would need to find a voice for an “unmasked” Pyro.
Sinister Minister responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 10:54 am #
I’m not so sure about that. Maybe they modified the voice of the actor to make the ‘hudda hudda huh’ voice of the Pyro, and would, in effect, just take away the modifications for the ‘unmasked’ Pyro.
Just an idea, i’m not sure what they did for the ‘hudda hudda huh’ voice.
BathrobeAssassin responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 11:16 am #
Ya know, Gabe confirmed that the Pyro is male. I don’t remember exactly where I read it, but I remember him saying something like “I don’t understand how these rumors got started, but the Pyro is male, not female.”
Sum1 responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 11:31 am #
Yeah, I kinda felt ripped off at the lack of a Team and the Meeting there of. Then I realized that Valve would just release it later, and better than it would have been if they had released it now, and immediately ended my murderous rage and went home.
Also, I don’t think that they would hav to edit the Pyro’s voice too much to make it distinct from the Spy’s. It’s all in the accents. I mean, with the Russian/ Scottish accents would you be able to tell that the Heavy’s and Demo’s voice actors are the same person? Think about that.
Sarda responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 11:54 am #
I hate hearing everyone complain that the scout update was botched. THERE WAS ONE AND ONLY ONE THING WRONG: THE LACK OF A WARM UP ANIMATION FOR THE SANDMAN. Seriously, go play on some servers that aren’t still heavily modified or swarmed with scouts. Yes, one of the recent updates broke rocket jumping and crouch things, but IT WAS ACCIDENTAL. You have to get it into your heads that WE ARE VALVE’S MAIN PLAYTESTERS. No better place to find a problem than with people who play the game regularly. Anyone paid to play the game and find bugs can only do so much.
Sum1 responded on 09 Mar 2009 at 12:42 pm #
Uh Sarda, I think you got the wrong article. This one’s on the “Meet the Team” movies that valve sometimes gives us. I don’t think anyone here has said anything about such matters. If you feel it nessessary to complain about the complainers, just scroll through the list of recent articles and I’m sure you will find an appropriate venue for your rant.
Sarda responded on 10 Mar 2009 at 3:05 am #
My comment was posted on the article above this, with the replacement weapons. Someone moved it.
a westie responded on 10 Mar 2009 at 10:23 am #
I doubt they did anything too crazy for the pyro voice. It sounds more like they had the voice actor try to say a couple phrases through a regular snorkel. It’s just a muffled voice, not a talking guitar, although I imagine they probably cleaned/muddied up the audio a bit to get it just right.
I think the biggest shame was the lack of a new game mode, which apparently was two racing bomb carts. I’d heard fan maps for that style of play were bad, but Valve playtests ideas for months looking for creative tweaks to make them fun, so I’d be surprised if they’d put a failed idea in a public ad (see the background of Bonk!), or decide to completely scrap it in a short period of time. My guess is that they found a major exploit or something cheap and balance breaking in the game that is hard to remove from the map in just a day or two.
I’m curious where Valve is going with the comic idea. I hope the comics are hand drawn or at least 2D. They don’t really explain if it’s going to be just a strip or an actual story; I’d expect a story since the fans have done the strips to death (Hint: The punchline is always that he’s a spy).
Alexander responded on 10 Mar 2009 at 12:34 pm #
@Paper shadow
Are you kidding?! The Scout update is the best yet! Crawl out of your cave and see the light!!!!
Hawk responded on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:28 am #
My coworker has a part-time job as a university teacher where he teaches the beginning art class. He also happens to love TF2 and has a great sense of design. He showed his class the “Meet the Team” videos as good examples of design, and also just as rather enjoyable entertainment. Sure enough, the videos alone caused around seven people to go home and purchase the game that evening. It’s definitely a good marketing tool.
I was disappointed as well when they didn’t give us a new video. Hopefully Valve can pull it together and finish the remaining three for us. I long for that sense of completion.
snipers_get_the_head responded on 24 Aug 2009 at 12:08 am #
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