Make The Bonk!

by Pyrit on March 2nd 2009

I don’t tend to do these sort of newsy posts, but I wanted to share this with all of you. Huddle ’round, children!

So, you’ve seen how to make the sandvich, but what about Bonk? Haven’t you always wanted to take a sip of that mysterious radioactive concoction, which causes all your enemies to have terrible aim and miss you even if you stand perfectly still? Of course you do!

Well, spotted over by the towrags on the Steam forums, Super Pretendo shows you how it’s done to make the energy drink which is probably not good for your life expectancy:

44 Comments »

Pyrit on March 2nd 2009 in how to, scout, team fortress 2, the funny, videos

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44 Responses to “Make The Bonk!”

  1. Secret Agent Clank! responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 8:03 am #

    Needs moar green tea!>=D

  2. Graven_Image responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 8:15 am #

    I’m diabetic. That would probably kill me.

  3. Kiloton responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 8:20 am #

    Dam, anymore energy drinks and that shit will kill a man… I get first try.

  4. The Luaper responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 8:25 am #

    Not enough sugar, you need a couple pixie sticks in there!

  5. supremesonic responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 8:32 am #

    Graven_Image… I find it slightly concerning that I’m laughing so much about your potential death to this drink.

    “I’M A FREAKIN’ BLUR HE… urk”

  6. Graven_Image responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 8:54 am #

    GAH! SUGAR COMA!

    The only real possibility of a diabetic is the Heavy, and even then, it’s type 2.

  7. VoidHawkz responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 9:02 am #

    I Jus-t trieD thIs recipeE. I seirously fuckinh did- just like! 5ive minute-s agoo!WoOo Heh, iTS NoO bi-g DeaL! o_O

    -But really, i’ve done these kinds of experiments before and YOU won’t notice a thing untill people tell you too “Keep Still! Your a freakin’ Blur!” Then of course it’ll keep you awake for over 48 hours, but hey, all in the name of science :D

  8. Clarke responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 9:24 am #

    Hey thanks alot for posting my video!

  9. Get BONKED! : Onlinegamer - Team Fortress 2 på svenska responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 9:50 am #

    [...] (Spotted over at Ubercharged.net) [...]

  10. C.G. responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 9:51 am #

    I’m going to try this as soon I find Portuguese equivalents for all ingredients except Red Bull.

    But first, let me check up on my life insurance.

  11. Corodan responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 10:09 am #

    Pretty sure they don’t cover radioactive energy drinks. Now with new Isotopes.

  12. Lord Grey responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 10:28 am #

    that much caffeine would probally kill me, those people who died from caffiene overdose say “I”.
    …
    …
    …..
    …….
    Im A fReAkIn blUr HErE!!!!!
    ……….
    ………….
    thud. *_*

  13. Jazmeister responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 11:07 am #

    I used to work in GNC when I lived in the states, and from my experience there I came out pretty clued up on energy. The 5hr stuff is great, we’re only just getting that here in the UK, but it won’t make you hyper. All the caffeine just makes you pee lots (maybe that’s the slowdown?) and, generally, none of that will make you run faster or dodge bullets.

    You ever hear of a fat burner? They sound scarier than they are; it’s some caffeine and some other herbs that boost your adrenaline a lot. People use them to lose weight, because adrenaline starts breaking up fat to release energy.

    My manager told me this story. He was a weight lifter and personal trainer, so he ran into lots of other product users at the gym and through his trainer thing, and he’d heard about this girl who’d drunk lots of beer while she was on a fat burner. Apparently, all that sugar and carbohydrate from the beer (beer has a higher GI than sugar itself) combined with the fat burner and made her turn into a “psychotic sprinting machine”.

    So there you go; over the counter fat-burner (plenty of cheap ones) and some beer will make you go mad, run fast, then die.

  14. Jonii responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 12:09 pm #

    Wow, the crash from that thing would stop your heart.

    Awesome ending, didn’t see it coming.

  15. CharlesMan responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 12:42 pm #

    Making this some day.

  16. Chucrute responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 1:22 pm #

    Worst HOST ever

  17. Huevomancer responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 2:44 pm #

    Perfect drink for a LAN party!

  18. Slipstream responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 6:35 pm #

    If I can stay awake for 24 hours without feeling fatigued and drink 10 cans of Red Bull without twitching, then I think it’s time to step it up a bit.

    Gentlemen, I’m going to drink this.
    And if I don’t come back, then I died running in traffic, then losing my invincibility halfway across the road.

  19. APARTHEID responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 8:03 pm #

    Given a certain Scottish influence, I’m more than sure that I could rustle up a cocktail out of this radioactive roister.

  20. Danger table responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 9:55 pm #

    The drink looks cool, have to try it sometime. But does anyone have instructions how to make the can?? Id like to make it

  21. n00bie51 responded on 02 Mar 2009 at 10:55 pm #

    The entire 5 Hour drink? Sounds healthy to me.

  22. Q-gyver responded on 03 Mar 2009 at 4:18 am #

    @ Graven_Image
    I’m not diabetic, and I think that would kill me.

  23. nalfang responded on 03 Mar 2009 at 6:05 am #

    Yeah, I dont think this would KILL you, per say, But you might want to see a doctor afterward.

    Not that much worse than eating a big bag of candy.

  24. Dr. Mikard responded on 03 Mar 2009 at 8:02 am #

    I’m energy drink-hardened, time to give it a try. But I won’t mix Red Bull with another energy drink…

    *Preparing dat sh*t… Dammit, I sure had some difficulties with finding something I can color the drink with.*

    …

    LoOk At Me!

    DaMn, I wOn’T bE aBlE tO SlEeP nOw…

  25. HelisPoe responded on 03 Mar 2009 at 11:22 am #

    Behold, Heartattack in a can.

  26. Lord Grey responded on 03 Mar 2009 at 12:12 pm #

    would have been the drink of choice for my last new years party

    you dont want to know…..0_o

  27. Untame Zerg responded on 03 Mar 2009 at 4:04 pm #

    I’m totally gonna try this.

    *waNananANAnaAna*

    But really. I’ve had the 5-hour things before, immediately followed by a big-ass 24-oz can of Rockstar… A little more sugar shouldn’t hurt…

    If I don’t come back from this alive… well… Just tell them I got cocky with the sentry guns.

  28. GanGGoRiLLa responded on 04 Mar 2009 at 1:08 am #

    The ending of that video was hilarious

  29. DPErny responded on 04 Mar 2009 at 8:51 am #

    The comments are funnier than the video.

  30. Redneckman responded on 04 Mar 2009 at 1:15 pm #

    I’d be shitin rainbows if I drank that

  31. Acefighter responded on 04 Mar 2009 at 5:13 pm #

    It’s best served with a side of syrup-drenched pancake wrapped around Kentucky Fried Chicken, dipped in baconnaise.
    Yes, baconnaise is real. Look it up.
    http://www.baconnaise.com/

  32. CP 65: Scout Unlocks :: Dead Workers Party Network responded on 04 Mar 2009 at 9:03 pm #

    [...] [VIDEO] Make The Bonk! [...]

  33. Pretendo responded on 17 Apr 2009 at 5:49 am #

    Haha hop you all enjoy

  34. Tarazon Loans responded on 28 May 2009 at 5:12 am #

    You made some good points there. I searched this topic and found out that most people will agree with your blog.

  35. Amish Drive-By responded on 17 Jul 2009 at 9:26 am #

    I made this it tastes pretty good but I couldn’t sleep until 6:00 AM.
    I drank the concoction at 7:20 PM. LOL

  36. Nick responded on 14 Sep 2009 at 12:54 pm #

    That stuff is probably qualified as radioactive after all that. Only downside is that the “slowdown” would most likely kill you.

  37. ubercharged.net – Make Your Own Jarate! (No, it’s not what you think it is) responded on 14 Sep 2009 at 5:53 pm #

    [...] you’ve been lurking ubercharged for a long time, you should no doubt know how to make your own Bonk! Atomic Punch soda.How about making your own jarate? In just three steps, [...]

  38. jrhather responded on 15 Sep 2009 at 2:15 am #

    Needs more Mana Potion.

  39. StickMcgee responded on 16 Sep 2009 at 8:03 am #

    1: i am thinking about drinking this, i am 18 yrs old with no heart conditions that I know of, do you think it is a good idea? IM NOT FAT AnD I DONT REALLY DRInk EnERGY DRINKS FOR FUN

    2: My friend who drinks a ton of energy drinks has very high blood pressure, you think this would kill him?

  40. Crazy responded on 18 Sep 2009 at 9:30 am #

    WanananananaAAAAUUGH!

  41. TEH UBERMENSCH responded on 20 Sep 2009 at 3:11 am #

    Wow… I love caffiene, but even I’M afraid to try this…

  42. Mage responded on 21 Sep 2009 at 8:23 pm #

    If I weren’t afraid this thing would kill me, I’d probably try it.

    Maybe the next time I need to pull an all-nighter…

  43. who am i? responded on 27 Feb 2010 at 9:14 am #

    wtf? how is that bonk!? its green!

  44. Druss responded on 27 Feb 2010 at 9:41 am #

    Most commercial energy drinks are yellow/green.

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