So the notorious Team Fortress 2 team has finally updated their freakin’ blog. All hail Valve!

No hints as to the Scout updates here, though, but it seems that they’ve had a tough time finding a good unlockable replacement for the Scattergun. A challenging aspect, I might add, since it’s once of the main highlights of being a good Scout. But wait! There’s more! The team has taken time to answer a few of the questions posed to them by the community, most of which I’m sure go along the line “0MF6 wh3n nx+ upd@tE c0m1nG oUT VlaVe uR @ F@6″ rather than the sophisticated tone presented in the post.

It seems that we will soon be getting a bunch of bug and exploit fixes, as well as placing your unlockable choices on something like Steam cloud. This is why Valve > EA. On that note, I’m thinking they could be fixing the civilian Heavy that we have.
Oohhhh it ees sad day! But there’s one thing I do know; they sure as hell better not frickin’ remove the frickin’ Spy Crab glitch. I swear, I will slit all your throats if they do. Except General Balls, cuz he’s awsum liek dat.

Apart from that, it seems that a lot of people are asking about the Heavy’s changed muzzle flash from the Meet the Heavy video. I don’t know why. Regardless, it was another art direction thing, and a smart one at that. Avoids distractions from the game.

On a more important GAMEPLAY note, it turns out that it was true that Natascha only did 66% of the damage Sasha causes, not the supposed 75%. People who whined about this, rejoice, for you are actually right! Combining the beef they’re gonna add to fix this along with the Scout pack update soon, I have a gut feeling that Heavies are gonna have a field day when this comes out. Not me personally. I may give it a shot, but I don’t really play the Heavy.

Last one, yes. I was right. The sniper IS freakin’ Australian. But having a British voice actor made him sound more English, it seems. Whiners, shut up.

That is all for now. Anyone else excited to the point of wetting themselves? Things to discuss include:

• New maps, particularly which community maps they might adopt
• New gameplay type; I’m hoping for the old “Bring the flag to the next CP” type, but maybe a VIP gamemode is possible.
• Which “Meet the Team” video is next. Ahem. Gentlemen…
• The possibility of a 10th class. You’ve played L4D right?
• Ohh, they’re gonna havta glue you back together… with GLUE!

Unfortunately, no ETA given on when the Scout update will, you know, actually arrive.

I would like to thank ALL of the ubercharged folk who came out and helped with our casting call. We do still need more people, so feel free to contact me for help.

The director of all of this (Peter Mansbridge) has asked me to make an announcement: Don Newman will be hosting a live show this Friday, January 30th at 4:30EST/3:30 Central. Even I’m not sure what will happen, but I am told Don will be making an announcement and debunk some rumors about the machinima. There may also be a short interview session.

If you would like to attend, please visit the following Justin.tv link on Friday, January 30th at 4:30EST/3:30 Central. Hope you’ll be there!

Authors note: This was originally going to touch another area, but I swiftly realised it was getting too long, and split the article into two. Stay tuned for the other half!

I don’t think there will be a single person reading this who hasn’t been killed by a taunt. We all know the feeling: that heavy on a ledge that we hadn’t seen, that pyro behind the setup gates when we mis-timed our exit… Particularly for humiliation, they provide a key gameplay element: giving the defeated a chance to fight back, to reclaim some honour. However, it was not always so.

VALVe, in their infinite wisdom, chose to turn the pyro’s Hadouken into a one-hit kill. This brought a lot to the game: it created another achievement that could be added easily, it was a buff almost without a buff, and it created mayhem in humiliation. But it also created a precedent; a dangerous precedent. The heavy’s “pow!” also became deadly. An invisible bullet, a soundwave capable of killing us… Whatever it may be, that simple word is enough to strike horror into the hearts of those who hear it. It added a new dimension over the pyro; the rifle to the Hadouken’s shotgun – longer-ranged, yet requiring prefect accuracy, and ironically launched from a melee weapon.

Is this precedent something to be continued? Many are clamouring yes, clamouring for every class to have it’s own kill taunt. But can this be a good thing? TF2 is precariously balanced as it is, and giving the scout a one-hit kill could push it over the edge. And what of the medic? Since this is a delicate issue, I’m going to take each class (aside from the Pyro and Heavy) individually.

Scout: The scout is based on two things: speed and agility. For a kill taunt to be balanced, it has to be, by definition, a taunt. You must stand still, within easy range of your target, and wait for a second or two before having an affect. Any situation in which a scout stands still in enemy territory within striking distance of a foe is a situation that will soon involve a rather less lively scout. In addition, the scout’s double-jump means that it could potentially reach unseen ledges, and just wait to do a ranged killtaunt downwards (think a heavy spawning on the roof of zf_Dustbowl cap 1). So a ranged taunt for the scout would be unbalanced compared to the other available kill taunts. On the other hand, the scout’s bat taunt is almost perfect for a point-blank killtaunt: bonking your enemies’ brains out with your fingers. But again, getting that close to an enemy and standing still (especially if you’re making a humorous quip whist doing so) is suicidal for a scout.
In balance (how often this word is coming up), no.

As cool as it looks...

Soldier: The soldier is an interesting one. Along with the demoman, it is an unofficial one-hit kill capable class, as the crit rocket will kill most classes. However, this relies on chance, the crit system, and the class you’re shooting. While whether this counts as a one-hit kill is debatable, the soldier is already a massively capable offensive class. Like the heavy, the demoman and the pyro, it causes a great amount of damage very quickly; what differs are the ranges and areas of effect. Since two of the other three already have killtaunts, it would seem an ideal candidate. Additionally, like the heavy, it is slow, and has above-average health. However, none of its taunts are exactly suited to a one-hit kill. However VALVe, with the KGB, REMOVED a kill taunt. Who’s to say they would not be averse to adding one to an unlockable? While this might make it difficult to make it part of an achievement, VALVe have made unlockables part of achievements before (Borscht Belt, Don’t Touch Sandvich etc.).
Overall, I’d say yes.

Engineer: Here we have possibly the worst-armed class for combat in the game (aside from, debatably, the support classes), essentially carrying two secondary weapons. Alone, he’s a scout with a weaker shotgun and none of the scout’s advantages. Until you take into account his buildables. A level 3 sentry in a good place is one of the best weapons in the game, and will almost always need an uber to take down. This makes the engineer a lot stronger – would you give a sentrygun an additional one hit kill? Additionally, an engineer has several roles in a team: defence using a sentrygun (repairing the sentrygun will take most to all of the engineer’s concentration, especially with stickies to break), securing gained territory (building, building, building), maintaining teleporters (running back and forth through secure areas), supplying dispensers (build and leave, mainly) and, sometimes, sneaking behind enemy lines to establish bases and teles (you don’t really want to be standing still and taunting). You can see how these do not exactly work well with kill taunts. And look at the main threats to an engie with a good sentrygun: demomen (generally quite a long way off, and you’ll be breaking the stickies anyway), ubers (unkillable) and spies (practically impossible to killtaunt). And if an engie’s running off on the offensive without bothering to build sentries, he’s not being a good engineer. Offensive engies are one thing, pure battle engies are another. Building piles of corpses is for other classes, so no.

Demoman: Another high-direct-damage-dealing class, although one with area denial and indirect fire capabilities. Like the heavy and the soldier, he moves more slowly and has more health. I, for one, would love to see the demo’s “kaboom” taunt turned into a kill, especially considering the symbol that would go with it. I’d say he’s a yes. However, I’d like to go out on a wire and suggest something new for the demoman. Since he’s all about splash damage and area denial, what about an area-of-effect taunt? An up-down column, blocked by walls and ceilings. The demoman would of course be still for the duration, but combined with the airblast it could be utterly devastating. Imagine using it from the top of Gravelpit cap B!
I had another idea for the Demoman, but that’s one for the other article.

Medic: The medic, like the scout, is a class that should never be standing still in enemy territory. A medic is always the first target, and to survive in the battlefield a good medic should be thinking on his feet, always moving, and watching his heal targets’ back, particularly if operating with slower classes. That 7% extra speed is there for a reason. Additionally, the medic is not designed as a combat class, and a one-hit kill is not exactly part of the medic’s job. This, combined with the fact it was updated before the killtaunt was introduced, is why I think the medic is a definite no.
However, an interesting idea was introduced in an article a while ago. I’ll be going into this in the other article.

Sniper: The sniper and spy both already have one-hit kills: Do they each need another? Additionally, the sniper’s role is not to be anywhere near the combat. If a sniper is fighting at killtaunt range, it’s normally strictly for self defence against people who’ve snuck up on him (spies: invisible or disguised and hard to predict enough to killtaunt. Scouts, fast moving and hard to hit), not against people who’re going to be standing still or walking past – that’s what the rifle is for.
So no.

Spy: Let me get this out of the way first: yes, I agree that, animation wise, the spy’s knife taunt would make a perfect kill taunt. But do I think he needs one? No. Like the sniper, he’s already got a one-hit kill, but it’s deployable instantly, albeit with a range and body area restriction. By the time a spy is in the position to taunt (visible, undisguised) and within range of his target, he’s been spotted and is about to die a painful death, probably by either burning or crit wrenching (or a gristly combination of both). When you already have a perfectly good backstab, a killtaunt becomes unnecessary and it’s use is counter-productive. So a definite no.

Let me qualify some of this by saying this is in relation to actual combat, and ‘vanilla’ gameplay. Yes, if every class had a killtaunt, each with different effects, then humiliation would be completely different, and probably pretty awesome. Killtaunts certainly create a hell of a lot of fun for everyone, especially in humiliation and mandatory taunt mode. Case in point:

But giving each class a kill taunt would break the game, even if it’s just because hundreds of medics would be trying to taunt the opposition to death.

Then again… killtaunt only gamemode VALVe?

Nothing is more difficult than the art of maneuvering for advantageous positions. ~ Sun Tzu

The first time I saw that was in OMFGNinja’s Advanced Spy Ninja Tutorial. Unusual then, that he would use something that fits the personality of the Soldier for a Spy, but only technically. And yes, I do think it’s something most players tend to neglect; if you’re in a good position, you can strike down an enemy or two easily. This true applied to the element of surprise, or even otherwise. Arguably, if there are those who don’t bother with it, it’s because people don’t have patience for it, or perhaps because a lot are casual players who don’t think about this, or whatever else. I’m going to talk about one great aspect of tactical positions – height.

Yes, height. Whether it be 2 feet or 20 feet above or below, height can make a difference in a TF2 encounter, single or multiple enemies. You could fight even in a disadvantage, but ask yourself: do you really want to? Probably not, unless you’re sure you can take out the enemy (usually meaning new player).
“If fighting is sure to result in victory then you must fight!”
So I’m going to talk about several uses of height for a few different classes, where you can use it to your advantage, and in general too, I guess. Some obvious, some not so obvious.

A big reason, of course, is that people rarely look upwards in real life, and by extension, in Team Fortress 2 as well. So without further ado…

The Rocketman
This one’s pretty basic. Can you say “splash damage”? If you’re a regular Soldier, or have even played it for just a few hours, you know that aiming at the enemy’s feet is one of the basic skills of a Soldier, and even more so if there’s a group of enemies. Sure it does less damage, but what are the odds of hitting the enemy anyway? Oh yeah, and there’s juggling.

When a Soldier, you want to be on higher ground than your opponent as often as possible. Not only does this make it harder for them to shoot you, it also widens your floor area of attack, making it easier to aim. What does this mean? Imagine if you’re on the same level as the enemy. Fightable, but your vertical mouse (apologies to console players, but we are the overlords of FPS gaming =P) aim has to be tight in order to get a good shot. Now, imagine yourself being 10 feet higher. It’s a lot easier to hit splash damage because your berth for aim is bigger vertically, isn’t it? Think of the courtyard area of *shivers* 2fort.

These two pictures use the red lines for approximately the same distance.

See this. Notice how the lines at the top are getting much closer to each other, meaning that the further away the enemy is from you, the harder to hit he is.

Now you're on the point, 10 feet above the ground. See the difference?

And as a Soldier, you don’t want to be below the enemy, because after you go down below eye level, nothing but a direct hit with a rocket will damage the enemy (save walls). And these points are true for fighting a Soldier too. It’s always tough to take out a Soldier who’s on the roof of Avanti, but in HalfAcre, if you’re on a cliff and a Soldier is below, it’s incredibly easy to dodge rockets. Phear the Rocket Jump, maggots! One of those gives you at least an extra rocket before you hit the ground.

Free cookie: Spot the 3 "interesting" things in this picture. (And no, Sasha, the second cap point, and the jetpack don't count.) (Okay, last one is tough, so hint = Scouts weapon)

The Arsonist
While height isn’t a big point for Pyro’s, you can certainly play it like a Spy. Imagine a group of players, running ahead of you, not noticing you. Backburner out (although I usually prefer the flamethrower), you lick your chops for some delicious barbecued Heavy Weapons Guy. But suddenly, oops, one of them has turned around. Before you know it, the Heavy turns around too, and you’re swiss cheese because your flamer has too short a range.

This is why; Pyro’s are made for ambushes. The chaos and damage of fire strikes fear into the heart of men (and girls too), which is why W + M1 succeeds more often than it should. Now, think of that same scenario. This time though, you’re above the enemy in a balcony, where they likely won’t see your crouching self. You jump down and WHAM! Even if that same person saw you, he’d have that much less time to react and warn his team. Mmm… delicious roasted Sandvich…

I hear a Hunter. Come on out wussy!

The Errant Twitcher
This class is unusual, because it’s one of the few times where you’d rather be below your enemy for fighting (maybe not Soldiers so much, but shut up, I’m trying to make a point here >=D). The Demoman is the ONLY class with indirect fire capability, unless you want to count sentries. Which I don’t. With a real arc to his projectile weapons, unlike the syringe guns, you can lob nades and stickies up above with ease. If it doesn’t kill your enemy, it will likely scare them off, if they don’t react, that is. Detonation is always a key factor.

Oh crap...

Still, it’s not like the Demoman can’t play like a Soldier. You’ll mainly want the stickies here. It’s a little less easy and/or effective, but it works well.

However! If you find that map with an obstacle between you and someone else, you can lob explosives over there! I find defending the third cap on Avanti has a very nice spot, for that BLU exit balcony.

AND! Hiding stickies on the ceiling makes them much much harder to notice. This helps tremendously since the destructable stickies update.

The HardHat
In terms of sentry placement, having higher ground means that it’s harder for all but Demomen to reach your equipment. This means Spies too! Meaning that they have to go a ways to get to your stuff. I like the logs on point A of pc_sawmill a fair bit. A little exposed, but if you have people who are not zombie engineers, then you should do fine.

No comment.

IF you have a sentry lower down, however, you could potentially send the enemy blasting through the air, that is, if they try to jump down on it. Not usually a favorable position, but consider the possibilities that sentry blowback gives. Most people don’t react to this situation very well.

The Secret Agent

Now this I like, a lot. Plenty of opportunities to munch on Squishies from above! It is, I hazard, an amazing way to attack. I’ll try and base my attacks with height for a week and see how it turns out. Leaping stabs are great ways, and if your timing is good, BAM. If not, it’s also a very good tactic to jump down and stalk for a few seconds to get to the enemy, because the time you’re exposed to the possibility of boooolets is much lower. This makes you more of a ghost, and good Spies are pretty much Ghosts, aren’t they?

One of my favorite spots. Note that it's pretty hard to get to the cranetop if you don't have double/sticky/rocket jump abilities. Possible, though.

*gratis to Himmelstoss for pointing out that video to me twice. You are credit to writing!
___________________________________________

So what does this mean for you?

Height is always a useful tool, especially if you’re above. Gravity moves you much quicker than anything save explosions, and the ability to Blitzkrieg is something that can reduce your enemy to chunky giblets (or ashes, depending on you) before they can respond. Think of it as another version of the element of surprise, only it’s much harder to counter because you’re not actually there with the enemy until you attack.

That’s all for now. Awaiting good constructive criticism. For extra credit, discuss why people tend not to look up while playing. If you are one of those who do look up, no need to tell us. =)

Let’s face it, Spooner.

I’m the most hated little bugger on this site. If I so much as mention “demoman”, an army of whiners rises up to scream “DEMO OVERPOWRED!! NERF NAO VALV PLXZZ!@!!”, usually in my face. 2fort lovers hate me, and those who find low gravity to be fun toilet-paper my house. Yet still, I’m back. This time, I’m here to fix your the game. For now.

Almost there

Let’s get this out of the way. TF2’s pretty good. In fact, I’d probably say it’s near perfect. Class balance is excellent; the gameplay mechanics are innovative and fun. It’s a game that caters to both pro players and pubbers. But, in spite of all its greatness, it isn’t quite there yet. The problem is, people often don’t play the game in a mutually beneficial way. Of course, there’s no changing human nature. However, one can take a step in the right direction by encouraging good play – but that requires a leetle bit of gameplay tweaks. Here’s a class-by-class breakdown for what I had in mind.

Scout

I’ll assert that this runt from the urban slums is pretty well balanced in most situations. High speed, an unbelievably strong close range attack, and the ability to double-jump allow this class to own it up on CTF, Linear CP, and other such open maps. But-

Problem: Chokepoints kill effectiveness. Consider that Dustbowl, Goldrush, and Badwater are some of the most popular (and fun) maps out there, and that all three of the maps are filled with chokepoints. A single sentry (not in short supply) can lock down a chokepoint for a scout (especially an offensive scout), and thus make the class utterly useless on those maps.

Solution: Scouts should not be sentry-killing classes, nosiree. But scouts should have a way to slip past a sentry without decorating the nearest wall with their guts. Easy solution: a replacement for the pistol. supremesonic suggested this – a sort of baseball that can be whacked past sentries, distracting them momentarily while the scout slips by.

Soldier / Pyro

These classes are perfect, if you ask me. They have their weaknesses and their strengths, and they’re both fun to play. Though I, a spy/demoman specialist, generally don’t relish the idea of fighting pyros, they’re nice to have in the game. For the sake of challenge, of course.

Demoman

Hahaha! I think the trolls and whiners and noobs will be inbound. Shut the door, Zoey! *insert zombie noises here*

Problem: Basically, the problem with the demoman is not that the weapons are overpowered, but rather that stickies are too effective for direct confrontation. In other words, the grenade launcher is not reliable enough for most players (it’s a great weapon, but it takes a lot of work to master); too many players use the sticky launcher as the direct confrontational weapon of choice.

Solution: Reward trapsetting. Have the stickies charge up damage over a period of about 2-3 seconds (like the sniper rifle). The base damage should be somewhere around half the current damage, and it should charge up to something of the order of 125% current damage. I know that last point’s going to put most of you in a spin, but think about it. Stickies will still be a very viable weapon, but they need to be used differently. This will mean that stickies can’t be spammed, but they’ll be great trapsetters still.

“BUT WAIT!” you say. “125% damage! Sticky r overprowered alredy! valv nerf demo nAO~!@!!”- to which I reply: It’s important to reward the demoman for setting traps, hence the 125% damage charge. Chances are, if you walk into a sticky trap, YOU DIE (or are at least mortally wounded). The 125% damage isn’t going to change that. The primary reason for the charge is to allow the demoman to set more traps, or alternately, set traps at a greater distance. There’s actually another benefit to this: demomen will be able to control the distance they get with their sticky jumps. A demoman who waits for a few seconds before jumping can go a longer way at the expense of more health.

Heavy

Nah, this guy’s fine. Leave him be; let him munch on baby sandviches. It’s just a shame that very few people play this class. With a medic in tow, he’s a death machine. Maybe it’s because the Heavy’s a “noob class” that he’s shunned like this. Now, please pardon me while I wipe the blood off my knife and get my suit dry-cleaned.

Engineer

As a spy/demo player, I think it’s my duty to destroy buildings and generally irritate engineers. Quite honestly, I can’t believe I’m suggesting this first change- it would certainly make my job harder. Indeed, it would skew game balance even more toward defense. But here it is, anyway:

Problem: Zombie engineers who only whack away at their sentries, oblivious to the surroundings.

Solution: Let engineers get kill assists for wrenching another engineer’s sentry. This should help out with teamwork with other engineers. Right? Right.

Another issue that’s no doubt caused hours of frustration for hapless offensive teams -

Problem: Sentry nests are impenetrable.

Solution: That’s the fault of the map – the design makes it too easy for pyros and spies to pick off medics when the offensive team is grouping somewhere. CP_Boulder addresses this issue pretty well – in the second stage, second cap, the only ways for the defense to get up to the logical offensive staging area are by climbing a pile of debris (i.e., death sentence), explosive-jumping, or sneaking around through an extremely roundabout route where there’s lots of chances for the offense to intercept the marauders. Because of that, the offensive team is safe enough to be able to build up ubercharges for the final rush to the control point, though they still need to watch their backs for pyros and spies.

Medic

I can’t think of much for this guy. A possible adjustment: make the original weapons more viable – currently, the blutsauger and ubersaw are almost complete replacements for the syringe gun and bonesaw. Drexer has better ideas about this than me.  Regardless, I think the medic’s a pretty good class at this point; I don’t think it needs much work – that’s what the medic update was for.

Sniper

What a wuss.

I don’t like snipers. I love the fact that they exist, though. They’re the easiest spy bait around, which is why I won’t go into depth bashing them. It’s fun to stab them.

Wait a minute. The fact that you’ve read this post this far in probably means you like reading my senseless rants. In that case, I shall revise my statement.

Snipers are in the game for a reason, being the only class capable of useful long-range attacks. But they’re wusses! They stand way back behind their lines (often next to a dispenser) poking their heads out every few seconds to take a shot. The main threat to such a sniper is another sniper, also in a similar situation behind the other team’s lines. Sound familiar? If you’ve been here for any time at all, it should. Yeah, I’m talking about the WCS’s. Unfortunately, the way the Sniper class is designed predisposes it to that sort of atrocious behavior. Cowards! Come out and fight! [hypocritical, I know].

On the other hand, I’m very happy that snipers are in the game. In a majority of cases, they’re scoped in, looking the other way, and completely oblivious to the friendly pyro behind them. Did I mention that the pyro was a spy? Har har har – stabbing these Aussies can be pretty fun, even if it’s a tad too easy at times.

Also, I should suggest that players named “Himmelstoss” should be immune to lucky 200-ping ultra-skilled (though probably lucky) headshots from players named “General Balls”. I’ll get you back someday, General.

Spy

Let’s get this out of the way. I absolutely love playing the spy. I’m not great at it, but I’m working on it, and usually am decent enough to hold my own. Playing spy is an adrenaline rush – especially if you’re about to be caught out in the open. The frantic few seconds while you try to get away, play some mind games, and maybe take down a few buggers in the process make the class for me. There’s nothing I’ve found quite as enjoyable in the game as running away in the face of impending death.

Problem: But the latest spy update’s changed the mechanics of the class completely. Sneaking around behind the enemy lines used to be difficult business. One needed to manage their cloak carefully based on the presence or absence of enemies. Not anymore – now it’s just a matter of walking over ammo packs on the way. It amazes me how much ammo one can find lying on the ground – whether it’s building debris, fallen weapons, or ammo packs, it’s become a piece of cake to get behind the lines.

Is that a good thing? It depends. I don’t think it is.

Solution: But of course, the original cloak recharge took so long I swear cobwebs formed on my mouse once. There’s no going back to that any more. I therefore suggest that when the spy is crouched or standing still, cloak should regenerate faster (maybe twice as fast). This means that the spy must get to a safe hiding place to regenerate cloak, but it still removes the boring long regenerate times. HOWEVER, if the spy is moving, cloak regenerates at the normal rate. I think it’s a reasonable compromise that should increase the riskfor spies acceptably.

OMFG Himmel, I hate you!!!

U RUINEDE MY FAV CLSAS!!! IM GLAD U DONT WROK 4 VALV!!!

Somehow, I agree.

Well, here we are, over a year after the release of Team Fortress 2, and people haven’t stop complaining once. I really hope Valve doesn’t listen to the Steam forums all that closely, because if they do, we’re headed for the death of FPS gaming. It seems every thread is complaining about some kind of nerf or buff, and people are still complaining about the demoman after multiple nerfs. So, with me as your guide, let me take you on a journey through QQ land.

Natascha

Natascha, the unlockable replacement for the Heavy’s minigun, has been the topic of debate since the Heavy update was released. Some think it’s underpowered, some think it’s pointless, all complaining about it are wrong. Personally, I will never go back to using the standard minigun. Firstly, because I like slowing people down, and second, I like that sweet AA cannon sound that Natascha makes.

Damage

Many people have been complaining that the damage reduction given to Natascha to justify the slowdown is too drastic. These are the people who think that their playstyle is the only way to play TF2, and who are too stubborn to remove the firmly lodged stick in their ass and adapt their bloody playstyle. Look, all the unlocks are meant to change they way each class is played without altering how the class interacts with others. A 25% reduction isn’t all that big of a deal anyway, given the firing speed and how close most Heavies get to their opponents. But anyway, back to the situational aspect of the unlocks. Natascha is not meant to be used by the Heavy who jsut wants to Rambo the other tems base and score kills. Natascha is for the defensive Heavy, be they defending intel or a control point or even themselves. It’s meant to keep enemies close by allowing the Heavy to slow them down and catch up to them, thereby increasing the close range carnage. Also, on a side note, some “scientists” on the Steam Forums have been claiming that Natascha does 33% less than the standard minigun. If these people had any sense, they’d realize that Valve HARD CODED the damage ratios, and that they (the idiots, not Valve) suck at math.

The Slowdown Effect

I don’t think people appreciate just how useful slowing down enemies is. Being able to slow enemies down gives the Heavy a massive advantage over them. For example, a Heavy using the standard minigun might want to stop a Scout running away with the intel, but the Scout is already at a fair distance, and there’s no way the Heavy would be able to close the distance by running. So what does he do? He whips out Natascha and lets loose a volley of shots in the Scout’s direction. The Heavy doesn’t kill the Scout at that range, but it slows the Scout down enough to give the Heavy’s team a chance to move in. Natascha is also handy for keeping enemies at that oh so debilitating close range. Keeping an enemy close means that the Heavy has a good chance of killing his opponent first, thereby allowing him to reach the medkit first. As you can see, while it may do less damage, a skilled Heavy can be just as deadly.

The Backburner

Ah the Backburner, the first real controversial unlock. It’s 50 HP bonus had many people riled up, but was it really that bad? I, as you could have guessed, am a naysayer (I get payed to say nay).

To Boost or Not to Boost?

When the Pyro update came out, as you all should know, the unlockable weapon for the Flamethrower, the Backburner, originally gave the Pyro wielding it a 50 HP boost to compensate for the lack of a compression blast ability. When I first saw this, I thought to myself, “OK, that’s reasonable. So instead of being able to block a few rockets, I get back-crits and the ability to block one.” Sadly, many saw this as the Pyro becoming overpowered. The thing is though, the airblast can be used as a weapon with some practice, nad 50 HP cannot. How allowing the Pyro to take down level one sentries was OP is beyond me. So a few more Demomen died, ironic that people wanted the bonus removed, given how OP everyone seems to think the Demoman is. The bonus added about the same amount of survivability as the airblast. Maybe a little more in some situations, but the original Backburner was by no means overpowered.

The Demoman

Ah, the Demoman, everyone’s favorite grim bloody fable. He is by far the most contoversial figure in the TF2 community, and has been the subject of debate since the game’s release.

The Grenade Launcher

The Grenade Launcher’s power is still being debated in the community. After undergoing a few nerfs, the most notable being a reduction of clip size to 4. There have been claims made that the Grenade Launcher can one-shot classes with 125 HP, but this is not true. In TF2, the amount of damage that explosions deal out is based on which region they hit, and how much surface area of that hitbox they touch. The Grenade Launcher has a maximum damage output of around 130, but the only way to achieve this amount of damage is with a point blank, centered shot on a Heavy’s torso. So yes, the Grenade Launcher can deal out more than 125 damage in a single hit, but the classes with 125 HP lack enough hitbox surface area to be killed in one hit by an uncritted grenade. So in short, learn to dodge.

The Sticky Launcher

Easily the most heavily debated weapon in all of TF2 is the Sticky Launcher. Even after multiple nerfs and various adjustments, people are still complaining about it. Stickies can now be destroyed and people are still complaining. If people would just adjust their playstyle, they’d probably find that Stickies are not as big of a problem as they seem. Many also complain that Stickies can be detonated in the air. What they fail to realize is that Stickies have to be fired a reasonable distance to make mid-air detonation viable, because of the delay. Some people complain that Stickies are overly powerful aginst Sentry Guns. What they seem to forget is that the Demoman is meant to be the Engineer’s counterclass, and that they should learn to use the Pistol. If the Demoman and his Stickies were really as overpowered as some like to claim, no one would play any of the other classes. Back on the topic of mid-air detonation: Some people have compared the Sticky Launcher to the Soldier’s Rocket Launcher with the ability to detonate overhead. What they clearly don’t understand is that the Sticky Launcher is not only slower in regard to firing speed and reload time, but also fires projectiles in an arc with a significantly lower range and slower projectile speed, not to mention the delay between firing a Sticky and detonating it.

On the Subject of Versatility

Some have said that the Demoman is more versatile than all the other classes. But the fact remains that every other class is versatile if the person playing it is skilled and readily changes their playing style. Sure the Demoman is versatile, but he has a limit to his versatility. Sure you can do direct combat as a Demoman, but where he really excels is defense and demolition. He’s not the direct combat monster that everyone seems to think he is. The image that people have of this all powerful killing machine is severely skewed. Maybe they’ve been breathing too many Payload exhaust fumes or something.

Conclusions? You’re Joking Right?

None of the unlocks or classes need balanced, so stop blaming Valve and adapt your playstyle. Who knows? You might even have fun in the process.

Authors Note: The next part of my series on the buildables. I’m going to assume you’ve read the first, as I will be using some terms from it. I’m also going to take this opportunity to explain, in light of people’s criticism of my last post, some of my motives in writing this series. I’m attempting to challenge people’s ideas of how engineers should use their buildables. People complained about me not discussing how important the dispenser is to the engineer’s base. That’s coming, trust me. I’m taking each one separately, and then finishing with using entire bases. Unavoidably, there is some crossover between the articles.

As little as this voice command is used, it’s probably a request that is voiced to engineers more than any other. I know i myself have said “can we get some teleporters up guys?” more times than I’ve asked for a sentry or a dispenser, and probably more than those two combined (I’m talking about really asking, not just spamming the voice command). A perfect example of their need is badwater: while the spawn moves for the last point, it’s not until the third point is capped, which is a long way from your first spawn, and even then it’s a long way to the front lines. once point one is being contested at close quarters, teleporters are invaluable for the entire rest of the match. This also works with the second cap of each Goldrush stage, and pretty much all of Well, although with Well a lot of an engineer’s time will be spent moving and upgrading entrances (which is a taxing job in a fast well game, despite being beside resupply rooms when you’re upgrading, which calls for a replacement wrench which allows faster upgrading, but that’s another point).

Placement

Teleporters can, like dispensers, be a great asset to a team. Like dispensers, their purpose depends on their placement.

Front line pod: Put your teleporter along with your sentrygun and dispenser. It has various advantages, particularly in contested areas. It allows you to get back quickly if you die, along with your allies coming through directly to combat if your sentry is on the front line. It also means your teleporter is well defended.
Lone teleporter: Easier to hide, and good if you’re defending a flagroom and want to be helpful to your team in another way. Get your allies closer to the front line easily, the basic function of the teleporter.
Behind enemy lines: Give your allies two points of attack. Give your spies a huge advantage. Hide your tele behind your enemies. This works well combined with a full base, as I experienced on my clan server (DoGs, shameless plug). On Goldrush stage 3, on offense, I managed to sneak right to point 3 and build my base in the alcove overlooking the point. I actually had a spy follow me the entire time, but I spun at exactly the right time (perfect luck), saw him and critwrenched him. By the two minute mark, I had my level three base fully up and my team coming through, despite that spy’s best efforts (he never did tell our team). Within about half a minute, we’d capped point one and saw no resistance on the way to point two. Point three was a walk in the park because my team were coming through every three seconds, and my sentry was covering the enemy. So yeah, we steamrolled, almost entirely because of my teleporter (and the enemies being unobservant for a few seconds). Not to brag or anything… This is one of the most effective ways to use a teleporter, but be careful not to use every one of your teams teleporters in this fashion, you’ll end up defeating the purpose and only attacking from behind.

Best use for one. Ever.

The teleporter isn’t just to get heavies to the front line, especially since the update. When you can bring half of a standard sized team through your teleporter in comfortably under thirty seconds, something like getting an attack force into Turbine’s vents just became a lot simpler, and a more important part of gameplay. I no longer get annoyed with even scouts taking teleporters, unless they’re still low level. it actually annoys me more to see my teleporter going unused, since I’d be getting points from it. What DOES annoy me is when people step onto and take my teleporter while I’m running to it shouting over mic “Don’t take my teleporter!” Sometimes I need to get back to my gear right away, and even that 2-3 second wait can mean a lost sentry… and control point or intelligence.

A tactic I find myself using a lot on the larger attack/defend maps (i.e. gravelpit, although not Steel, it’s an exception) whenever there’s three or 4 engies on RED is to stay at the base, upgrading everyone’s teles to level 3, before starting work on a rear defense in case we get overwhelmed. It also means I’m close to the teles in case of spies.

I’m not even a particularly skilful engineer. It’s my MPC and one of my favourite classes, hence why I’m writing these, and I can do some decent stuff, get some good unexpected positions and do some ninjabuildings and things, but I’m decent at best. I just think about my dispenser and teleporter differently: assets for the whole team and not just me. All my buildings are disposable, and WILL be moved to wherever my team needs them. When I’m playing on ubercharged I sometimes do silly things like spend the entire game defending the sniperdeck at A (overlooking E) on Steel for an entire game, but in the normal game I try to be as inventive as I can be, and I encourage you to do the same.

Don’t make ANOTHER teleporter down to the 2fort flag room. Don’t just put a teleporter right behind your sentrygun. find the creative and unexpected positions that will surprise the enemy team.

Oh, and don’t forget to make teleporters to the skybox

Team Fortress 2. As you are aware by the many rants you have heard, it’s not a perfect land of milk and honey and Baileys. For good to exist, there must be evil.
Thus, there are many types of bad players who I feel symbolize that religious trend thing, the seven deadly sins. I’ve been brought up in Catholic schools through my whole life – though I doubt it made any difference, considering I’m quite immoral and find joy in burning orphanages down – and I feel the likenesses of these sins are all too familiar in our little gaming world.
So let’s read on about these horrible individuals who seem to plague our land. This is not for the faint of heart.

The Rambos (Wrath)

Much like in Left 4 Dead, you’re not him.

A lone man will not demolish a team single-handedly and cap every point by himself. This isn’t like all those other run-of-the-mill team games where one guy can take on ten and have enough ego left to make a golden statue out of himself. This game actually requires you to use tactics and a friendly demeanor to co-operate with your team instead of using a twitchy finger and high blood pressure.
Rambo would be ashamed of you, good sir, and by ashamed, I mean enraged and driving a combat knife through your pancreas.
TEAM Fortress is the name of the game, quite literally. Lots of words starting with ‘co’ can describe the strategy to winning matches in this game; co-operation, co-ordination, communication… but at no point should the word ‘commando’ pop into your head.
If you want to succeed, work with your team carefully. Duos can work well if the classes fit (Pyros and Spies, Demomen and Soldiers, Medics and… anyone, really). Rushes can be an unstoppable force, albeit a cheap tactic. If you play well with others, glory will be yours. Hopefully.

The Womanizers (Lust)

“omg itz a gurl”
Every time you type this into a shoutbox, your sexual potency decreases by ten-fold. I could kick you in the balls and you wouldn’t feel anything.
A comprehensive survey of one person (me) believes that around roughly 95% of TF2 players are male, give or take. It’s understandable that girls would be derived as rare exotic creatures by the less social gamers among us (a.k.a nerds). However, do you think she would log on to find suitable love partners?
No, she logged on to headshot you. In the nads. Somehow.
Just leave the gals alone. If you really think they are ‘the one’ for you, then go on their team, be a Medic and help them out. Better than spamming oh-so-romantic ‘txt’ into the shoutbox.
Oh yeah, don’t forget the sexist players who believe females lack superior motor skills and brain cell count, essentially thinking they are a waste of team space. Funnily enough, this situation usually follows the angry male in question as a useless Sniper and the co-operative female as a useful Engineer.

Shame on you, sir. Let me shoot you in the crotch with my flare gun for your ignorance.
…Okay, last genitals joke, I swear.

The Leaders (Pride)

You know when you lose a round and you get that one person who blames everyone else because they had less points then him?
Man, I hate those guys.
Please, the main source of points is kills. The main source of teamplay and round success is assists, captures and defenses. Going on killing sprees sure is fun (makes for great frag video footage might I add), but if you leave that control point undefended, you aren’t helping.
A common counter for this argument is “I’m helping out; I’m killing the other guys.”
Killing the enemy team is certainly a main aim of the game, but leaving your team unaided and left to suffer from an enemy uber is not a desirable trait. Ass.
Points make no difference to me. My personal best in one life is 27 or something (either Spy or Pyro, I forgot), but it wasn’t my best performance. My best performance would be one where my friends and I defend a point valiantly, blocking ubers and destroying buildings, holding back a seemingly unstoppable wave of foes. As a team. Together.
Stop going for points. Your ego is of no concern to me or my flare gun.

The Copycats (Envy)

Who honestly thinks my class affects my skill? Sure, it’s a factor, but there is an annoying habit among players to scan the leaderboards and instantly swap class to imitate the highest-scoring player.
Here’s a cruel realization; it doesn’t matter what class you are, you need to know how to bloody play it. These copycats end up being W+M1 Pyros, ‘battle’ Medics and griefing Engineers.
Plus, on a side rant, we don’t need seven Spies. You’re not OMFGNinja. If we have no Medics and you go Engineer, words will not describe the fury I want to unleash upon you.
Why should you be envious of someone on your own team? If you want to be envious of someone, exhibit jealousy to that RED Soldier dominating you.
Anyway, the point is to pick the right class for the situation, not the scoreboard. No more poor Demoman players, okay?

The Achievers (Greed)

Ooooh boy, this is an awkward subject.
Let it be known that I have no problem with anyone who goes to achievement_box and farm for some those oh-so-wonderful new weapons. I’ve done it myself as a matter of fact; I couldn’t bare a minute without that wonderful Ubersaw, that fantastic Flare Gun and that brilliant Sandvich… However, I certainly have problems with those who do so on an important game of Dustbowl with nearly a minute left on the clock, especially as BLU.

Don’t try and uber Scouts instead of Heavies for ‘You’ll Feel a Little Prick’. Don’t try and Hadouken all your enemies for ‘OMGWTFBBQ’. Don’t try and minigun all your enemies while underwater for ‘Krazy Ivan’.
If you want to earn that Sandvich of yours, I have no time for your greedy antics in my game. Do it on an achievement server like I did.
…At least I can admit it!

The Consumers (Gluttony)

You know these guys. I spawn as a Medic to nullify the injured pleas of my teammates. One player has shouted for first aid the most, so I logically assume he is in the most need. I trudge across half the map to find my first patient is merely a Heavy with 250 health left. As I try to comprehend the selfish sight in front of me, three teammates burn to death elsewhere and hold a grudge against me for the rest of the round for my ‘poor medic skills’.
Even worse is when I happen to succumb to not-so-spontaneous combustion and my Heavy takes a health pack from right in front of me.
Seriously, some players call for a doctor when so much as a Engineer taps them (as if he can do anything without that sentry of his). I don’t differentiate between classes; a burning Sniper is more needy than an Heavy (in most cases – if I have an Uber, sharpshooter can go find some water).
I am glad about the new TF2 update so I can now tell who needs me and who doesn’t, but a brief message to the previous Heavy who was inconsiderate to me and the team; Tough luck, fatty. Go use a health pack.

The Creditors (Sloth)

I’ve spent the last five minutes trying to break the enemy defense and push that stupid cart that looks as stable as my sanity. After finally making some progress, the bomb nears the final checkpoint… and a Scout suddenly appears, pushes it a few inches, then scores it and taunts wildly.
Funnily enough, he never tried moving our wooden friend earlier.
A very common problem with multiplayer shooters is that players are afraid to die. Newsflash, boys and girls; you will die. Lots. Everyone does. If it’s Arena, that’s fair, but when you can respawn, that’s seems not quite as fair.
I’m not afraid to endanger myself in the name of victory. If a critical rocket is heading towards our only Medic, I will not hesitate to jump in front and shield it with my soon-to-be-gibbed body.

But oh no, our team Sniper doesn’t have the balls* to inch out of his hole for so much as a tap of the cart to at least keep it from reversing.
If you don’t help in a fierce conflict, then we will lose. And I will blame you. And your children.
Now stop sitting behind the damn dispenser and “move that gear up”!

*Damn, nearly finished without another genitals joke. Real sorry.

The Good Guys

Let it be said that humans find it easier to see faults rather than improvements (the Steam forums is the perfect example) and if we didn’t, there would be less reason to Ubercharged every day, am I right? I won’t forget brilliant players who work with their team, aid their teammates considerately and care more about winning a fun and challenging round than getting more points or chatting up ‘teh h0t gal’ or farming for the Natascha.

But I guess the bad ones are here to at least keep us entertained. Well, if killing such poor individuals is derived as ‘entertainment’. Is it?

Of course it is.

It is something that you see in every single TF2 server you play on. Something so common that it never really appears to anyone as a major problem in either the team or personal strategy sense. Something so mundane and initially insignificant to most people it is never touched on.

I am of course talking about this…

See that little guy right there? The one with the huge read MS Paint scribbled circle around him. That’s right, just there, you finally see him? There you go…

The pyro disguise. Boring run of the mill disguise or team hampering costume of doom? I will be the judge of that.

It is, from what I have seen, one of the two most commonly used disguises by spies in both attacking and defending situations, but recently I have been questioning the method behind using this disguise and whether or not it should be a staple disguise for any battle hardened spy.

The Pros

1. Speed
Of course this is the easiest one to notice. When disguised as a pyro your speed is not hampered and it is, along with the demoman (the second most used disguise in my opinion) and the spy the fastest disguise you can use. This of course can help you maintain a solid speed to get behind enemy lines and start doing your nasty work. Of course this works the other way around, letting you retreat from enemy fire and cloak in time to escape with your life.

2. Ability to uncloak in the thick of things
It is necessary at times that as a spy you will need to uncloak when there are a number of enemies lurking around you. The pyro disguise is one of the better options for this, as they are a main offensive unit. Provided you uncloak in a spot that won’t make you look suspicious when you appear, you should be able to get into the middle of the pack and work your magic and hopefully escape scott free.

3. Less likely to be suspicious around a dispenser
Pyros waste ammo as fast a heavy and even faster if they’re airblasting their way around the place. So a disguised spyro can recharge health and their cloak before making another attack provided they find themselves an unattended dispenser or an engineer that isn’t as paranoid as he should be.

4. Health leeching
Being an upfront class, the pyro takes a beating, so it isn’t uncommon for a pyro to be running back from the front frantically hitting the ‘E’ button. This can help you stay alive and gain the trust of the team, making it easier to take out your priority targets.

The Cons

1. Trying to get to priority targets looks extremely suspicious
Being a spyro, you’re gonna look pretty stupid trying to get behind snipers or following a medics exact footpath. Not much else to say on that matter, just use your brain when picking your targets to extend your life.

2. You’re disguised as the most paranoid, trigger happy maniac on the battlefield.
This was what I was leading up to, but I needed to flesh out the article a bit more just so I could make this rant. But why on earth would you think it is a great idea to be running around behind enemy lines disguised as one of these guys!? Any self respecting (or self loathing for that matter) pyro goes around flaming everything they see, so it is inevitable for you to get hit and then it is all over.

On top of this, you look ridiculous as a pyro on fire and you’re going to have one of their names so you end up being one step off having a bright, flashing neon sign saying “SPY OVER HERE KILL ME NOW BEFORE I DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVE”.

The Verdict

While there are a number of pros to using this disguise, I believe that the two cons far outweigh them in the majority of situations. When you have a number of other disguises available to you, you should utilise all of them and rotate them to make you less noticeable. The amount of times I’ve seen a spy get killed, only to come back in the same disguise, over and over again is insane. I believe it is best to take a small speed decrease in order to help yourself in the given situation, whatever that may be. In most cases, it is easier to survive behind enemy lines when you are disguised as something other than a pyro, especially if you get accidently flamed in the mix of things, it is easier to bluff your way out of a sticky situation.

My Suggestion

Now whenever I go spy, I always initially start off with the sniper disguise then rotate from there once I’ve made my first kill or taken my first engie nest out. Disguising as sniper makes you look less suspicious around the priority targets (with the exception of a medic) and you can easily backstab a sniper and take his place again, letting you have a good 10 seconds or so to recharge your cloak, re-disguise and be on your way. Demoman is also decent but I have been using Soldier more lately and it has proven to be most effective in Medic disposal.

And whatever you do, never, ever disguise as another spy, you just look silly running around the front as an undisguised spy, It’s almost as bad as being a spyro all the time.

Well kids, I hope you learnt a little bit, I didn’t think I had it in me, but there you have it.

D out.

Hello and welcome to another episode of ‘Behind The Fortress’!

It’s the only series that shows the true opinions of the RED team, and what really goes on behind the ramparts and the battlements. Today we speak to the RED team’s Heavy. ‘Afternoon Mr Heavy.

It’s ‘Heavy weapons guy’ yes, just call me Heavy, Hallo!

Yes hello Mr Heavy, now as we have told you, we have brought you here to the studio to ask you some questions.

Ah yes! Bring questions! Heavy would love to talk about self!

Could you tell us about your role in RED?

Well me and my sweet Sasha, hired by team to kill babies! I also great chef! Team loves my sandvich hahah!

You kill babies for a living? That sounds rather extreme…

No no, BLU team is not real babies, BLU team is fake babies! Puny men with baby weapons! I mean really, I thought we’d be fighting men! What sick man send babies to fight me? Entire BLU team is babies!

You said you make food for your teammates?

Yes I make very good sandvich, so good I even take sandvich sometime when it killing time! Sandvich make me strong! Team like Heavy food very much! I not give you recipe for sandvich, recipe is secret to Heavy! BLU try steal sandvich recipe but Sasha stop them. BLU not make as good sandvich as me.

Care to tell us about your teammates? Who do you get along with the best?

Medic, Medic is best friend to heavy. Sure he fairly puny man, relies on Heavy to protect him, but he keep Heavy feeling good! His heal weapon make me feel so good, I don’t even need sandvich to kill many, many babies! I think Medic like Heavy allot too

Engineer is good man as well, help me get to babies faster with teleport machine. He also make dispenser, box that give me ammo and feel better at same time! Dispenser not follow me like Medic though. Engineer himself, hard to talk to. He very smart Engineer, I have hard time understanding sometimes what he say. But we still get along good, he not like Scout much either.

You don’t like the Scout?

Scout make me very mad sometimes. He think I’m slow, and fat when I eat sandvich in front of him. Say mean things like “eat it fatty!”, get me very mad. Scout think he better then Heavy because he faster, but he only a puny man himself. One time he make me so mad I punch him, Scout went running away to Medic and said “He punched out all my puny man blood!” like baby. But I felt bad after that day, after all, Scout is teammate and he is good man at killing BLU team babies who give a hard time for me. Also he is fast man, good at getting intel and pushing cart! So he is not a bad man, he make me angry sometimes, but listens when cart won’t push self.

Anyone else you would like to comment on?

Other teammates get along well with me. I don’t know much about Spy, Sniper or Pyro though. Spy is always away, I never seem to see spy. Sniper is always at back, far away from puny BLU men and Pyro I can’t understand, but I have had many good times with team. Though Demoman is a very angry man when sober, and Soldier likes to tell Heavy what to do sometimes, they are less puny then other teammates hahah!

What would you do to improve your team?

Teams have been fighting for long time, it very good times when we win, but sometimes we loose, these are sad days. BLU team is nothing but babies anyway. I think team looses sometimes because some teammates so small! It’s funny to me! Scout only take few hits before calling for Medic, same with other teammates. They don’t eat enough of my sandviches! If they did they wouldn’t be the puny men that they are! If team got big like Heavy, we would win every time!

Anything you would like to say to the viewers?

Don’t be babies, eat many sandvich and be big strong like me and kill many puny men! Little men might think they smarter, but nothing can outsmart bullet.

They’re you have it, strong words from a strong man, seeming to enjoy what he does and rather fond of his partners, but not all of them. What does his colleagues think of him? Is the RED team really a team? Or a volcano of hatred, filling with conflicting opinions until it erupts and destroys all that surrounds it…

Find out next time, on Team Fortress 2: Behind The Fortress.