Tis the season…
Oh yes, the holiday season has begun already for many people around the world, break from school, work or whatever else it is that people do to fill their time up. Decorations have been put up in the house to give the decor a festive feeling and to feel like you are still connected to whatever religious background you come from. Presents are being wrapped or unopened as you read this, families are re-uniting for a few days of having to listen to the grandfathers stories all over again because he can not remember telling them the year before, let alone remember to wear underwear on a daily basis.
And of course there are the children. The precious darlings of the future, all excited to see what glorious new possessions they will obtain this year. Screaming and carrying on wanting the day to draw nearer, abusing their parents for not getting them the latest craze, always wanting more, more, more.
Kids these days are a rather selfish bunch, at least around my parts. Spoiled from day one, getting whatever they want because they know if they scream and cry enough their parents will eventually fold and they will get the newest playstation game or pokemon card deck or whatever it is they are so infatuated with at the time. The basis of the Christmas season is lost on them, mainly due to the commercial nature getting increasingly more hideous each year in western culture.
“But /D/, wtf has this got to do with Team Fortress 2?” You type with an inquisitive tone. “Why are you rambling about the lack of Christmas spirit on a game website? You’re not going to review another band are you? Because we all know how that turned out…”
I am writing about this because it effects the TF2 community. With the kids on holidays, the internet beasts within come out to play. Their selfish ways throughout the holidays is carried on into the servers.
The past few days have seen chaos erupt on a horrific scale. So many old issues which were once ironed out have come back to haunt us. Mic spamming, metal hogging, class stacking, player abuse over text or mic, griefing and a general lack of team work have increased ten fold over the past few days on the servers I frequent. It’s sad to see.
It is here that I urge those responsible to act accordingly. But I am not talking about the children themselves, but those who should be teaching them better.
The Parents
That’s right, I’m staring through my monitor and directly at you, Mummy and Daddy (I’m Australian so I spelt it right before anyone comments about it.) You let your kids get on to a game they shouldn’t be playing, letting them yell and carry on, provided it keeps them out of your hair right? This is what you always do. But it isn’t helping anyone. The kid is going to grow up a moron, you’re going to end up in debt by bailing them out of murder charges because you didn’t teach them right from wrong, they won’t be grateful, they’ll steal your things, put you in a nursing home and forget you even exist, leaving you to rot alone in a small room with ugly pastel wallpaper and a stain ridden window that has a lovely view of a sewerage plant. Then when you die they’ll sell off all your sentimental possessions to fuel their newly aquired cocaine habit. But that money will eventually dwindle and they will have to resort to swallowing their pride for their next fix. All of this because you let them run wild on a computer.
Do you really want that? No, I didn’t think so. But you can stop it, parents. You can make it all stop right now. Get those kids outside where they’re supposed to be. Take them to a park, play catch with them, teach them the true meaning of this holiday season: Giving to those less fortunate and spending time with those who mean the most to them. This will in turn make them a wonderful addition to our fine community and I will be less likely to rant like this in the future.
If that fails, don’t be afraid to give them a bit of the ole’ bonk. Remember, not only will you be helping this lovely online community, but you will be helping yourself, your child and society as a whole.
I hope everyone has a happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Las Posadas or any other day of celebration I have missed.
Stumble it!
Killa-Ewok responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 9:15 am #
Facts, even though they were highly used ones.
Have a pleasant Christmas, everyone.
General Goose responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 9:15 am #
I couldn’t help but feel this article was a wee bit negative.
But, as I am what could be classified as a “kid”, I have to say: the small minority of kids who act like arseholes or try to act mature are giving the majority, responsible, sensible players, a bad name. Kids like this should not be allowed to play a video game rated above PG/8+, whatever their real age is. Their parents should not let their kids behave like this.
gRUMBLES responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 9:31 am #
First off, why does it try giving me a random name when I leave a comment for articles….just now it attempted to name me General Goose?
Anyways, a lot of it is true, but having a few classes of Sociology behind me, it does bother me a bit that there really isn’t more to the picture of WHY kids behave the way they do online….but I can easily ignore that. Also, you forgot Boxer Day
Zorgulon responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 10:47 am #
@gRUMBLES
There seems to be a bug where the default name for the comments is whoever posted the last comment.
And it’s always nice to have a jolly Christmas post to get us in the festive spirit!
clubtheseals responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 11:04 am #
I can’t stand those parents who will do anything for their kids. The Dark Knight+7 year olds=lulzworthy traumatization.
Doomsday One responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 11:22 am #
Spanking is now illegal in the UK.
Y’know, if that’s what you meant by “a bit of the ole’ bonk”.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT HAS DONE TO US?! DO YOU?!
*sobs*
But seriously, it sucks.
And so do unappreciative kids. Your article really hit the nail on the head (even if a little distant from TF2 =P ).
Kowl Slaw responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 11:36 am #
I could picture the nursing home part vividly in my mind, and that made it all the more funny.
clubtheseals:
When I saw The Dark Knight a couple had their baby with them. I can assure you, LOTS of fun.
Positronic responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 11:49 am #
s/sewerage/sewage
Drexer responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 12:10 pm #
Pretty much solid points. It gets to be quite annoying having some kid who just can’t shut up yelling at you that he has been playing this game for 3 years… At that age, they should either be outside or if inside, doing something more along the lines of LEGO. Save the joy of TF2 for the latter years.
Let us hope that not many parents bought this game to their kids this Christmas(not L4D for that matter), so that we may not have to face the onslaught of noobity-related chaos after the holidays.
Oh, and you forgot Noodleroni(for the Pastafarians)/Mithras or Horus birthday for the other presumably first birthdays on this date/or my all time favorite reason, to commemorate the Winter Solstice. But now I’m just being picky.
Happy holidays everyone and good New Year while we’re at it!
Maggots!
XD
Corodan responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 1:13 pm #
Y’know, I’m 14.
Does that mean I should leave? I’ve been treating everyone fine. I don’t think I’m spoiled.
This really just feels like a rant to just kids being on the younger side and playing M games in general. Not just spoiled ones.
Still, spoiled kids are so much fun to mess with.
I have no clue why this comment is necessary. o.O
Sobchak responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 2:16 pm #
I have to disagree. I’m 14 and I know I’m not supposed to go up to someone with a minigun named Sascha and mow them down. Besides, I don’t mic spam.
Direction responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 2:22 pm #
I always find it interesting that everyone sees these sorts of articles as a personal attack against them. Clearly it is a generalisation, which means there are obviously exceptions to the rule.
If you don’t do these things, good for you, but don’t feel like you’re being attacked. One of our best writers is in his early teens and I would be an idiot to lump him into this group.
Ptomely responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 6:09 pm #
I agree 100%
Although it is fact that age not equal maturity, it ceartinly helps. I’m 14, and I know many mature and immature people. I consider myself mature and responsible. I work for things I want (barring Christmas and my birthday, of course). And I agree with you that the spirit of Christmas is lost. I’m Athiest, but I still celebrate Christmas not because of religious reseaons, but because of the good cheer of the season (and the presents
). However, the cheer of the holidays has started to dwindle as a grow older. Indeed, as I will be turning 15 in a couple of months, and the past few years have felt less and less cheer. I suppose as one gets older, the burden of responsibility and the years of experiance out in the world start to take a toll on you. I’m still happy, but that spark, that fevror, that…feeling of ecstacy is getting dimmer and dimmer every year. But I digress. The
holidays will still be one of the happiest times of the year for me, and a great time all around.
And yes, a good ol’ bonk won’t hurt either (as long as you don’t crit
)
Happy Holidays:
Ptomely
Ptomely responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 6:10 pm #
Bleh, sorry for the spelling/grammar errors. I’m typing this on my iPod, cut me some slack
Jesse responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 6:34 pm #
I’m 14. (And so are many others, I’ve noticed)
I play violent video games.
I’m not going to “snap” and kill anyone at my school.
I don’t whine and scream over the mic.
Ignore anyone’s age unless it’s directly affecting your gameplay.
In closing; Does it really matter? If someone just wants to play a game and have some fun, does it matter what their age, race, or sex that person is? No.
–Jesse
(Just noticed: Ptomely is a freaking mind reader.)
Direction responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 9:46 pm #
Jesse, refer to my above statement, re-read the article and have a happy holidays.
Cap'n Lee responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 10:13 pm #
spelt! spelt? speeeeeeeeeeeeeelt?!!
It’s spelled ’spelled’ (and pronounced that way too, but let’s assume you got that right).
Devenger responded on 24 Dec 2008 at 10:18 pm #
quote madlep/Heavy in election:
“Gun control important! Little BABIES need big muscles to lift heavy gun. Heavy outlaw silly scout shotgun and build muscle on whiny scout teenagers.”
They aren’t building any muscles playing TF2 and PRETENDING to use miniguns, are they? Bah, this generation eh…
…I’m 16. I think all teenagers are really annoying. Especially those darn mid-teens wo think they are beyond it all! And don’t forget the hypocrites; those are the worst…
…happy TF2ing, everyone.
Mooman responded on 25 Dec 2008 at 12:09 am #
Everyone over 3 is old enough to go to a military academy and become real men, regardless of gender. There are no valid reasons they aren’t doing so.
Get on it, caregivers. Do you want your children to grow up playing violent video games? Or worse, taunt those poor souls already caught up in violent video games to go into a killing frenzy, constricting your right to own military grade weapons?
You know what to do. Do it. Do it for the future.
THE MOAR YOU KNOW
Wyatt responded on 25 Dec 2008 at 3:40 am #
Thanks for the warning, it totally slipped my mind that kids are off for Christmas. And don’t worry, my kids get “a bit of the bonk” (lol) when its needed.
gRUMBLES responded on 25 Dec 2008 at 4:49 am #
The ESRB put ratings on games for several reasons, many of which I can easily agree with. I see a problem immediately – why are kids in possession of a game rated Mature (that’s ages 17+ for those who don’t know). I can go through two likely events and easily point the blame at parents.
1) If you buy it online through Steam, it requires a credit card, which I’m not sure a kid should have in possession in the first place. You can make the argument that it is the kids card, but ask yourself – WHY DOES A KID NEED A CREDIT CARD? Better yet, why would a parent allow such a thing?
2) If a parent buys it FOR the kid over Steam or in a store, why is that parent not concerned about what TF2 contains as a game. Parents lack of interest is again, to blame.
(Also a note, Teen is a made-up word by marketing/advertising specialists on how to more easily target specific age groups.)
Rubiximus responded on 25 Dec 2008 at 5:19 am #
This is why I love chaos theory. Srsly, the logical transitions here are amazing.
Happy Christmas, y’all.
Himmelstoss responded on 25 Dec 2008 at 7:30 am #
I don’t think TF2 is really an M-rated game at heart. It’s so ridiculous it’s… ridiculous.
But at the same time, you’re right about the micspam. Young people playing games? No problemo, as long as they don’t play games to the point of having health problems. Micspamming is a different story.
Good article, but I think your writing was a bit caustic to the 13-14-year-old crowd.
And I hope YOU aren’t going to be playing TF2 this holiday season 
SAC responded on 25 Dec 2008 at 9:29 am #
@Himmelstoss:
Considering the usual crowd in TF2, it would have to be noted that “Experience may differ online” anyway. :O
But still. Good points.
Chris responded on 25 Dec 2008 at 5:55 pm #
I could not agree more.
Lord Grey responded on 27 Dec 2008 at 4:29 am #
ouch, Direction