Picky Eaters
You Know Who They Are…
You’ve seen them time and time again. Be it on play, when you catch a simple glimpse of the enemy team, or when you have died, or even when you are spectating, your camera over the shoulder of those, silently watching and prevented to do anything, as this action goes unpunished and you go ‘WTF!?’.
You seem them, the picky eaters, and your mind reels before what you see them do.
We all know playing spy is hard,
but it’s rewarding. There can be no bigger happiness than after trying to pass through the enemy team 5 times and being burned, smashed, blown to bits, burned, and crisped; finally getting behind the back of that heavy which is terrorizing the control point and taking him down with a single mouse click.
But there are those spies which roam everywhere but are rarely noticed, those which we can only see if we have just died and gone into the great-beyond-that-overlooks-other-players(aka spectator mode). They are the picky eaters.
All spies are hunters in their core
They are hunters primed to their excellency, their shining weapon a beacon of destruction on their field, their instincts primed to those of felines for the dark of the night.
But sometimes, there are those, like little kids who don’t like vegetables; that just don’t like certain meals.
After getting behind the lines of combat, after encountering a small corner in which to de-cloak and disguise, they get behind three enemies, they raise their knife to the top behind the medic with the ubercharge ready; and suddenly, they pass by his side and kill the heavy which is resting beside a lone dispenser.
Okay, strike one… just a mistake, right?
I have gone into spectator mode, and as I watch he gets once more behind the enemies, his blade gleaming in the dark of the corner from which he emerges. The defending sentry is down, and the RED team is barely holding while the BLU’s attack. The red engineer rushes to the front right by his front, starting to set a sentry on a safe corner with enemies near it. He goes back and tries to kill a sniper, a lone pyro noticing him and burning him to a crisp.
Strike two… this can’t really happen again, can it?
He is in a position from where he is able to kill the engineer which keeps the last standing sentry alive, giving his team a chance to destroy it with their just deployed ubercharge. Yet he does not because that would mean his kill by that same sentry.
Strike three…
He can run to the front and kill the enemies that are terrorizing the choke point, yet he goes yet farther back, in search of the easy targets on the back of snipers.
Strike n-th…
What I am describing here is something I’ve become slowly and slowly more aware of. It’s a phenomenon that’s unfortunately becoming more frequent from my viewpoint. The picky-eaters are spies which only hunt what they want, who only go after the easy kills and can not and will not sacrifice themselves for the team. They are lone point-seeking hunters, and their individuality ends up being their downfall.
Sometimes it’s all about getting the revenge on that broadback demoman which has got a domination on it. Other times it’s a certain player that just ticks them off. More often than not, it’s just a matter of getting obsessed with one player after a missed backstab and just going after them time and time again.
The bad thing about those spies, is not because they fail that miserably; but because in doing so, they help their team at nothing.
Most of those spies see sapping for instance as just a passtime, even when they’re the only chance their team has of getting past those 3 level-3 sentries. Most of them don’t aim for the target whose death would help the team, but instead they lurk behind snipers and heavies in a secure corner.
Pretty much like I said before, they are like little children that onyl like certain types of food.
And then there are other taste restrictions.
The No-Spicy-Please Spies
Everyone has a friend like that. Someone that will eat just about anything, but when food comes along with some kind of spicy condiment, he will simply say “Thanks, but no thanks” and put it aside.
And that’s fine really.
With food, not in Team Fortress 2.
When a spy finally gets behind the enemy lines(which can be pretty hard sometimes), his targets should be the core elements to cripple the attack or defense of the enemy or the best available target. Even if that element is a pyro(no matter how unlikely), it’s always best to try his luck when not in a particular good hiding spot than to wait for some other enemy, a decision which leads itself into a not very honorable death more often than not.
It seems ridiculous when you can look at the battlefield and behind your enemies see one of your spies, only to see it dart away from certain kill of a pyro, just because of its fiery temper, and lose its life to the heavy it runs head-on into.
All is not bleak in this world though
Although here I used the example of a spy who kept making the same mistakes over and over again, it must be said and know that sometimes, those same mistakes are made by rookie spies. People new to the art of fine trickery and of choosing their target.
Those can be recognized also, more often than not by the fact that they slowly start prioritizing targets, as if the small infant has developed a better taste bud. Such is what starts to set spies apart, and such is what makes them a part of the team.
For in the mist of battle, a traitorous friend always comes in handy.
Stumble it!
Sypheros responded on 29 Nov 2008 at 3:36 pm #
Very true, and this is what separates ze good Spies from ze average Spies. The ability to uncloak & dagger, and get the main aspects of a push (Medic, Heavy, Soldier)
Good post my friend
Max Payne responded on 29 Nov 2008 at 7:29 pm #
Ha-ha
Nice jod !
Paper Shadow responded on 29 Nov 2008 at 9:19 pm #
I’m a professional spy. I kill, I sap, I dominate…
Heaven forbid you get auto-balanced when againest me…
MrMuffinMan responded on 29 Nov 2008 at 9:49 pm #
i have no fear of spies, for i am a rabid pyro that knows aaaaaall your dirty tricks. you can’t hide from me
Killa-Ewok responded on 29 Nov 2008 at 10:14 pm #
My tactics:
PLAYING Spy: Kill, sap, help team. Do good shit, get no thanks, and change class when all is going good for the team.
REVENGING as Spy: That damn Sniper who keeps shooting JUST ME when I try to sticky-jump is gonna get a knife to his back, accompanied by laughter and a sudden death scream when an Engineer delivers some shotgun bullets to my back.
Devenger responded on 29 Nov 2008 at 11:46 pm #
I purely play Spy to boost my enemies’ paranoia levels (or, occasionally, break a Medic’s confidence by backtabbing their heal targets repeatedly, or even BECOMING their heal target). Heh. Heh. Heh. There’s definitely more to Spy than how many kills you get…
DISCLAIMER: I’ll backstab anyone, but I’ll always go for the most twitchy or successful targets. It’s far funnier when it works, and TF2 is a game to have fun in.
PC_Major responded on 30 Nov 2008 at 1:25 am #
Eh, screw my life, stabbing a pyro, demo, and revolvering a scout only to die from a hail of rockets are far more fur than killing a sniper and sappin a teleporter exit.
Brainiac27 responded on 30 Nov 2008 at 1:49 am #
Whenever I play spy I have tried to avoid being a picky eater, there is no use stabbing the last point when there’s three heavies up front. There is nothing better than coming up behind a heavy medic pair that just started to make red team soup and stab then both. Perfecting the level 3 sentry stab-n-sap also is just about the best feeling in TF2 as well.
Anonymous responded on 30 Nov 2008 at 3:47 am #
i geuss i play as the suicide/aggressive spy since i always manage to catch rockets and grenades to my face.
plus its better to disguise as classes no one expects rather than pyro/demo
Sypheros responded on 30 Nov 2008 at 8:47 am #
@MrMuffinMan
Good Spies tear pub server Pyros apart.
minespatch responded on 30 Nov 2008 at 6:30 pm #
I’m the kind of spy that would just hunt the stragglers while disguised as a medic. They never see it coming when you play as the shadow. Trust me, it’s all about hunting the weak, and thus leading to Darwin’s field.
Players you don’t want on your team: Alt-code expert | ubercharged.net responded on 01 Dec 2008 at 10:22 am #
[...] the easy kills, because those add to his kills without adding nearly as much to his deaths. Drexer summarized this behavior earlier, using spies as an example, though it applies to snipers just as [...]
JOP responded on 02 Dec 2008 at 4:43 am #
I’m certainly not down with the picky eating, and like most spies, I don’t mind going out in a (Pyro-induced) blaze of glory if it means I take the sentry with me (the Engineer is optional.)
The problem, to my eyes, is that Spy is a tricky enough class to play as is (even before the opposing team get twitchy) and it’s incredibly frustrating to get into the backlines on that fifth try only to find that there are three sentry guns all covering each other.
And that’s before we get into such subject matter as crit-Wrench single-hit Spy death; or the numerous maps that basically have no way to get into the backlines without going straight through the crossfire, or the many pub servers with increased player load…
The Spy class is unique to Team Fortress and in some respects a major selling point, but all too often the Spie’s effectiveness is majorly curtailed by the map and the enemy. So next time you see your spies skulking around in a questionable way, ask yourself: what could I be doing to help get that Spy where he needs to be?
5yewy5r responded on 02 Dec 2008 at 2:35 pm #
I sorta just go for whoever I see…..If I see a medic with uber I’ll try and get him of course, unless he jumping around like mad. Then I’ll try to get his best healing target in the vicinity.
Otherwise, I just go for whatever. Of course snipers and heavies are up thar, since you know. :p
Wyatt responded on 03 Dec 2008 at 5:38 am #
In most games I typically play the kamikaze role: storm in, destroy, kill and go out in a blaze of gunfire. Why? I guess I’m wired that way IDK. TF2 has forced me to change my ways while mastering the different classes. For spy it was all a matter of patience. Once I get behind the enemy all I want to do it stab stab stab but that is not very effective when you get gunned down so easy. So I learned to wait and not get antsy, waiting for that line of medic, heavy, soldier rolling with the cart. Wait, for that slow heavy/medic combo to get to the front or for that uber to build so you can rush in and sap all 3 sentries just as the Sasha starts singing. True, you can always take down the sentries yourself but its so much easier with minigun rounds screaming over your head.
So that’s my advise. Go stab stab stabby to your hearts desire but always be mindful of when you need to wait for the good stuff. Provided your team isn’t total trash it will come.
General Goose responded on 05 Jan 2009 at 12:58 am #
Once I was playing as Engineer, and I saw a Scout head towards my dispenser and sentry. I let them go past, but then I thought “Wait a sec….that scout was pretty slow.” By the time I’d turned around, I was dead and my stuff was being sapped.
Shadow responded on 09 Jan 2009 at 3:27 pm #
This reminds me of one of my most epic times playing tf2 on the xbox. It’s dustbowl, first stage, second cap. I’m on team Blu, and with the red sentries down, me and my friend heavy make a run for the point, only to find it covered in stickies. With no time to brush them off, I step onto the point and stab forward removing my disguise. And so the stickies go off, I die, the heavy caps the point and mows down the other team with a spin from Sasha. While I niether was a MVP nor got any points or assists from that, I truley felt credit to team right then and that was worth it.
God of Pie responded on 27 Mar 2009 at 7:38 pm #
I personally find spy backstabs to be the #1 funnest kill in TF2. In my opinion, one must backstab as often as is humanly possible. That means; get behind the rushes and click, click, click. Sure, I die like every three seconds, but I’m a pretty crummy player and I would have died every three seconds anyway.
Gamer responded on 01 Jul 2009 at 6:04 am #
“I’m a professional spy. I kill, I sap, I dominate…”
Nice quote