ubercharged.net

You Know Who They Are…

You’ve seen them time and time again. Be it on play, when you catch a simple glimpse of the enemy team, or when you have died, or even when you are spectating, your camera over the shoulder of those, silently watching and prevented to do anything, as this action goes unpunished and you go ‘WTF!?’.

You seem them, the picky eaters, and your mind reels before what you see them do.

We all know playing spy is hard,

but it’s rewarding. There can be no bigger happiness than after trying to pass through the enemy team 5 times and being burned, smashed, blown to bits, burned, and crisped; finally getting behind the back of that heavy which is terrorizing the control point and taking him down with a single mouse click.

But there are those spies which roam everywhere but are rarely noticed, those which we can only see if we have just died and gone into the great-beyond-that-overlooks-other-players(aka spectator mode). They are the picky eaters.

All spies are hunters in their core

They are hunters primed to their excellency, their shining weapon a beacon of destruction on their field, their instincts primed to those of felines for the dark of the night.

But sometimes, there are those, like little kids who don’t like vegetables; that just don’t like certain meals.

After getting behind the lines of combat, after encountering a small corner in which to de-cloak and disguise, they get behind three enemies, they raise their knife to the top behind the medic with the ubercharge ready; and suddenly, they pass by his side and kill the heavy which is resting beside a lone dispenser.

Okay, strike one… just a mistake, right?

I have gone into spectator mode, and as I watch he gets once more behind the enemies, his blade gleaming in the dark of the corner from which he emerges. The defending sentry is down, and the RED team is barely holding while the BLU’s attack. The red engineer rushes to the front right by his front, starting to set a sentry on a safe corner with enemies near it. He goes back and tries to kill a sniper, a lone pyro noticing him and burning him to a crisp.

Strike two… this can’t really happen again, can it?

He is in a position from where he is able to kill the engineer which keeps the last standing sentry alive, giving his team a chance to destroy it with their just deployed ubercharge. Yet he does not because that would mean his kill by that same sentry.

Strike three…

He can run to the front and kill the enemies that are terrorizing the choke point, yet he goes yet farther back, in search of the easy targets on the back of snipers.

Strike n-th…

What I am describing here is something I’ve become slowly and slowly more aware of. It’s a phenomenon that’s unfortunately becoming more frequent from my viewpoint. The picky-eaters are spies which only hunt what they want, who only go after the easy kills and can not and will not sacrifice themselves for the team. They are lone point-seeking hunters, and their individuality ends up being their downfall.

Sometimes it’s all about getting the revenge on that broadback demoman which has got a domination on it. Other times it’s a certain player that just ticks them off. More often than not, it’s just a matter of getting obsessed with one player after a missed backstab and just going after them time and time again.

The bad thing about those spies, is not because they fail that miserably; but because in doing so, they help their team at nothing.

Most of those spies see sapping for instance as just a passtime, even when they’re the only chance their team has of getting past those 3 level-3 sentries. Most of them don’t aim for the target whose death would help the team, but instead they lurk behind snipers and heavies in a secure corner.

Pretty much like I said before, they are like little children that onyl like certain types of food.

And then there are other taste restrictions.

The No-Spicy-Please Spies

Everyone has a friend like that. Someone that will eat just about anything, but when food comes along with some kind of spicy condiment, he will simply say “Thanks, but no thanks” and put it aside.

And that’s fine really.

With food, not in Team Fortress 2.

When a spy finally gets behind the enemy lines(which can be pretty hard sometimes), his targets should be the core elements to cripple the attack or defense of the enemy or the best available target. Even if that element is a pyro(no matter how unlikely), it’s always best to try his luck when not in a particular good hiding spot than to wait for some other enemy, a decision which leads itself into a not very honorable death more often than not.

It seems ridiculous when you can look at the battlefield and behind your enemies see one of your spies, only to see it dart away from certain kill of a pyro, just because of its fiery temper, and lose its life to the heavy it runs head-on into.

All is not bleak in this world though

Although here I used the example of a spy who kept making the same mistakes over and over again, it must be said and know that sometimes, those same mistakes are made by rookie spies. People new to the art of fine trickery and of choosing their target.

Those can be recognized also, more often than not by the fact that they slowly start prioritizing targets, as if the small infant has developed a better taste bud. Such is what starts to set spies apart, and such is what makes them a part of the team.

For in the mist of battle, a traitorous friend always comes in handy.

That class that you daren’t touch unless forced too, but the class which you love above all others. That class that you depend upon, but you’ll never play it. The medic. The healer. The Doctor. No team is complete without one of their number, but do you say thanks everytime their long healing beam latches onto you? Everytime they uber you, or kritz you? Everytime they save you from certain death?

I doubt it. But how you wish it was you they are healing! Everytime you see a medic/ClassX surge past you with ubercharge, you’re jealous. Everytime you see the kill box fill up from a kritzed soldier, you’re jealous. Medics. The cause of all envy and hatred in tf2. Well, besides crits.. but medics can control kritz! There are only a few things more elating in tf2 than seeing your health shoot up to 150%, a familiar glow around your person, and a hawt german following you.

Hudda Hudda Hudda...Mhdiiiiic!

And then hearing him shout, “I am charged!”. The emotions of joy and bloodlust surge through your body, just raring to charge around that corner and mercilessly destroy all those helpless RED’s. The madness of battle! I feel that I can safely say, there is nothing more glorious in TF2 than an ubercharged heavy. I’m sure heavy would agree.

Medics are, however, undervalued. Taken for granted. Many of us (I find, usually demomen) will helplessly spam “Medic!” and not even thank said medic when said medic charges across the map to heal you. Do you have any idea how frustrating this? It’s just wrong. The medic is a class to be loved above any other, to be heralded as the bringer of destruction even when they can cause no destruction themselves (Ok, maybe a little). And then there are those who complain of too many medics. Ask yourself, when can there be TOO many medics? How can 4 ubercharges, synchonrised, be bad? I admit – the medics are not always working together, but even then – 4 ubercharges, one after the other, is sure to do some damage if not win the round. I will never understand this attitude.

Luckily, however, it’s usually the better players who say thank you – so the medics keep coming back to them. The rich get richer, and the poor… stay poor. However then, just more envy is created. The poor scream over voice (in a high pitched voice) “Why don’t you heal me man? I’m the best player here!”. They don’t realise it’s because they’re playing sniper.

In all, the medics are a class to be respected, loved, and thankful for. The next time a medic latches onto you, if you don’t already, please hit “z2″. It makes the medic feel a lot happier (usually..) and there is more of a chance of them returning to heal you. Everybody wins! (Except RED. They get gibbed).

To the tune of:

I can play my game with no voice commands
No voice commands, no voice commands
I can play my game with no voice commands
No voice commands, no voice commands

Look at me, look at me
Pushin’ the cart like it’s good to be
On BLU, and I’m a Payload champion
Even when I’m outnumbered 10 to me
I can show you how to pop an uber
I can show you how to eat a Sandvich
I can dominate an entire team
Even when I’m playin’ on my crappy bandwidth
I can stab and run without gettin’ shot
I can outmaneuver any Sniper dot
I know all the routes to the final point
And I can flank any defence you’ve got
Me and my friends, we never lose
Me and my friends got “Cook the Books”
And guess how long it took
I can dominate who I want, ’cause look

I can kill heavies with a bit of lead
A bit of lead, a bit of lead
And I can see you’re playin’ some Left 4 Dead
Some Left 4 Dead, some Left 4 Dead

Look at me, look at me
Just typed to say that it’s good to be
Alive, with hordes of zombies
Tryin’ to stop my victory
I can dodge Hunters without getting leapt on
I can stop a rush, don’t matter how large
I can jump on that wall fan
And I contribute to Boomercharged
I can take out 3 Tanks at once
I can make up for the team dunce
I know how to hold my own on Expert
And I can make a zombie player ragequit
Boomers, Hunters, Tanks and Witches
Me and my crew can wipe out those b*tches
I can outwit the AI Director
I’m one guy you can’t infest, ’cause

I can lead my teammates with a microphone
A microphone, a microphone
And I can win a match with a Molotov
A Molotov, a Molotov

Look at me, look at me
Making zombies go POP!
And it feels so good to be alive and on top
My gun is loaded, my saferoom secure
My win is noted, my victory sure
I can own zombies across the nation
Kill ‘em with bullets or immolation
Turn ‘em into a mass cremation
Whatever guarantees my team’s salvation
I can make boss zombies lose their patience
Send them to exasperation
My team fulfil my machination
To achieve complete pacification, ’cause

I can guide players like a flock of sheep
A flock of sheep, a flock of sheep
And I can leave one dying without a care
Without a care, without a care
And I can board the copter and leave them behind
And leave them behind, and leave them behind
And leave them behind, and leave them behind
And leave them behind!

I can play my game with no voice commands
No voice commands, no voice commands
I can play my game with no voice commands
No voice commands, no voice commands…

This is one that I’ve been hearing about all day, so I figured I’d have to get up off my slack non-postingness of late and you know… post it.

JustAConspiracy emailed me waxing on about the greatness of it

Or rather, a video if you don’t watch a rabid mongoose will come and rape your cat.

This is just one of those things that you have to spread to the world.

I heard about it from C4Cypher of the TF2F community:
You remember watching the Matrix? The good one? The first one? What made that film so cool? For me it was the fact that the film treated our reality as a simulation. A simulation with rules. Rules that could be bent. Rules that could be broken.

EvilDaedalus has brought us something unique, scripting bots in such a way to give a similar effect as watching the matrix film for the first time.

And then UC regular pinko chimed in over gtalk:

This video was incredimazing. A new word that I had to make up for just this video. These TF2 art videos are always really cool…

And from the man himself

Gotta love Propane nightmares. Awesome song. Happened that I was messing around with bots when I first heard it and the thought of making this vid just popped into place.

More mirrors will be posted here: http://www.mantaengie.com/2008/11/23/tf2-mass-ai/

Sorry, I’m not going to explain how it works, stop asking. =P

About the donation request at the end: Manta Engie is paid for out of my pocket right now, and I’d like it if became self-sufficient. What I’m saying is that it’s unlikely that I will ask for donations again as all donations go towards maintaining the site.

Of course EvilDaedalus is no stranger to awesomeness and TF2 videos.

So anyway, here it is. Don’t try this at home.

GModded by Hain the Puppy Buster

Science moves the world. Astronomy brought us to the farthest reaches, while biology gave us insight into nature’s workings; thermodynamics showed us how to power the world, and nuclear physics taught us how to split it asunder.

It is that which might shake the heavens, but only in the right hands. On its own, it is nothing… like a wrench or a test-tube. Science is a tool that can reshape reality, but is it capable of anything on its own? Nein! Without a firm grasp and a keen mind to manipulate it properly, it shall languish wasted and forgotten. This is my purpose, to grip the laws of Science and cut through to the secrets that lie deep! Oh, and there a great many of them about, incubating in unlikely places like numbers and blood cells, just waiting for the right individual of intellect to come by. They wait only for the right touch and the appropriate perception to bring their true glory to fruition. and it is I with my steady hand that shall excise them and use them to bring mankind into a new golden era!

That is why I am here, toiling in the dust and the debris, keeping ungrateful schweinhunds breathing while they expel certain undesirable elements with their special brand of violence. With my help, territories and properties are kept or conquered, but all that is of minor consequence, like coffee stains on a chart.

My true purpose is to implement my latest discovery, the medibeam! In certain specific conditions, light can have beneficial properties upon the human body. There have already been some tests upon mice, causing shaved fur to grow back more quickly. While this is… nice, I have taken things further in my own experiments. I have isolated a small range of frequencies that allow for significantly more noticeable results!

Under constant exposure from the medibeam-emitting device (which I named the medigun in a moment of fervor), an already robust subject became nigh-invulnerable! At such a stage, bullet wounds are negligible! Further, I am exploring ways to infuse any individual with a larger dose of the medibeam to render him completely immune to damage, making him a veritable Übermensch!

Of course… there are minor side effects, little things such as increased adrenalin, hoarser voices, balding, impotence, occasional hallucinations of otherworldy beings, radiation poisoning, sudden hunger for human flesh and etcetera, etcetera. But these are all insignificant when compared to the noble pursuit of science! In this modern world, it is our duty to march over minor inconveniences towards an immortal utopia, to be brought into realization by men of intellect such as myself! Sacrifices must be made, of course, but as a professional healer, I shall ensure that they will be as painless as possible.

I am your medic, and this is what we do.

A while ago on this site, there was an article about the Pyro and its personal role compared to the other classes, when it wasn’t talking about why you shouldn’t play a W+M1 Pyro. In it, there was a line that made me stop and think.

Personally, I’d say the Pyro is a support class, far more so than the Spy (offence), Sniper (long range defence) and perhaps even the Medic (the most effective offensive action in the game is surely an übercharge).

While I didn’t necessarily agree with the points in the article it did bring up an interesting point. What does make a support character? Why are Spies, Snipers, and Medics support characters while Pyros and Engineers aren’t?

Let’s look at three basic ideas of support: Firstly, assisting directly by aiding someone- that is, helping them to do something or making it easier for them to do, secondly supporting by laying down a framework to make everyone else’s life easier, and lastly supporting by keeping people at their best and most useful.

Assisting directly by aiding someone

And how will I magically quantify this quality? Well, TF2’s stats seem to be a good starting point.

What’s this you say? Stats, explaining what a support class is? Well, I think we can agree that assists are, in general, caused by supporting or supplementing someone else’s efforts to kill someone, whereas killing people unassisted shows a less supportive style.

Right off the bat, we get the obvious ones- Spies, masters of the one hit kill, don’t seem to be helping out much. And Medics, masters of leeching assists off of people by healing them, are right at the top. But what’s more interesting is the second one. While two of our “support” characters are right at the bottom, the Pyro is a strong second, even if he is outstripped by the medic.

However, let’s remember something- Assists are KILL assists. However, what are Spies most likely to assist in getting rid of? Sentries. A sap followed by a Soldier coming in can ruin the best of Engineers, although it’s a tragically underused strategy- and if you assist in a destruction, hlstatsX doesn’t call it an assist, it calls it a destruction.

So let’s look at our candidates right now: Our support classes we started off with- Medic, Sniper, Spy- and our possible candidates- Engineer and Pyro.

Medic: This is the Medic’s strongest case for being a support character- he’s all about helping people out with their tasks.
Pyro: Strong suit for the Pyro too, setting people on fire weakens them and helps out your team mates.
Spy: Low on assists, but the idea of helping to destroy a sentry makes them at least okay in this area.
Engineer: Almost as bad as the Sniper here- low on assists.
Sniper: Sniper’s got nothing here. Low on assists, and no destruction assists like a Spy.

Laying Down A Framework

Here we come into issue that made me put Engineer on my prospective list-the idea of supporting by making the environment more friendly. This is part of the reason why people run back to “controlled” territory- not just because of the lack of enemies and glut of allies, but because there’s a base of dispensers and sentries set up to give you a safe place to recover.

And that is the support that Engineers lend to people- they set VERY clear lines of battle by setting up bases that require a concentrated push to break. This means that other classes not only have somewhere to go to recover, but with teleporters and sentries stopping people from coming back, it means they can basically ignore everything between the Engineer base and your spawn, making it easier to push ahead without worrying about your back.

This, incidentally, is also something that Engineers can claim as something only they do- no other class moves people to front lines faster or makes more solid bases, so that’s a free point in their favour.

Keeping People At Their Best

Okay, okay, everyone and their dog sees where THIS is going.

Medics do rather have a lock on this one, because murderous tendencies aside, keeping people at their best is their job. Healing you just helps you kill things and survive, and an ubercharge will, of course, make you a killing machine. Engineers do get some credit here for giving people ammo and health, but Medics sweep this.

Bonus Round!

It appears obvious from the above that the three support classes look like Medic, Pyro, Engineer. But there’s one more factor to be considered- what HAS to support? What can’t fight for itself in a one on one, and has to just try and keep the enemy down? Here is where we see why Spies and Snipers are support classes- they don’t fight on fair ground, but they might just save your team.

In Conclusion

Medics are a support class. They keep everyone happy and healthy, and help people out when they’re injured or fighting. But while Pyros do assist in damage, they don’t play with other people- their fire is just a coincidental effect that gets assists not from helping but from leaving damage laying around. And while Engineers make nice little bases, they are more focused on defence than support. But Spies and Snipers? They may not play along with you, but they support your team, and in the end, that’s why they’re support classes.

~TheGr4yFox over at deviantart spotted edinbugger’s post from the other day with the Heavy and Medic covering the Mercenaries 2 “oh no you didn’t” song, and thought he’d photochop up a snazzy cover for it.

This rocks.

As you may or may not know, all of the writers who write for Ubercharged and plan to get Left 4 Dead are now writers for boomercharged.net. Some of those bastards (who definitely aren’t me) have even been playing mostly the Left 4 Dead demo and not playing much in the way of Team Fortress 2!

Well, I want you to know that I definitely haven’t been doing that at all and that I, for one, won’t stop writing articles on this site just because I’m writing for Boomercharged too!

So, enough about Left 4 Dead and zombies, let’s look a video of a rather original capture of Dustbowl point 6.

Enjoy! And remember, I definitely WON’T be a while in writing A Sense of Achievements(part 2) because I’m busy playing a Hunter.

The following is taken from a journal in the Medic’s handwriting, found in the long-abandoned Dust Bowl mine, six months after Infection Containment.

Battle of 2Fort, day 987

The Heavy came to me today, complaining about stomach pains. It seems he had found a sandwich while on guard duty and, thinking someone had brought him a snack, consumed it. He claims that it tasted “not so good.” I recommended he lie down for the rest of the day, but being the Heavy, he refused to miss today’s operation. He, along with the Scout and Spy, left for the BLU base 30 minutes ago.

Battle of 2Fort, day 990

The away team are still not back from BLU base, nor have any respawned. I am becoming increasingly concerned for their safety. Sniper has seen not a jot of activity across the bridge for 2 days. Very strange.

Battle of 2Fort, day 991

Something has affected the behaviour of our allies. They are coming for us. I no longer recognise them. They are as animals. From the state of their clothes, it seems they have slaughtered all the BLUs, which have joined their ranks. We remaining REDs are about to leave for the Dust Bowl and await further instructions. The Engineer has set up Sentry defences, but refuses to leave his beloved contraptions. He has not returned, and we are forced with heavy heart to leave without him.

2 Days after First Infection

We have arrived at the RED base, now four men down. The Soldier wants us to stand and fight, but I tell them we must hole up and wait for the Announcer to give us orders. No sign of the Infected. Although I am a man of science, I am completely dumbfounded by this phenomenon.

4 Days after First Infection

After two days of relative peace, the Sniper spotted first one, and then a whole horde of the Infected. How they are some many I cannot explain, nor how they have all assumed the likeness of our missing comrades.

It seems the Infected can easily be killed with fire or a shot to the head. Needless to say, the Sniper and the Pyro have taken it upon themselves to eradicate all of the monsters, even to the stage where they are in competition with one another. I, however, cannot share their high spirits.

5 Days after First Infection

We are down to four. Overcome and out of fuel, the Pyro was slain by a pack of the beasts. They ripped him to shreds. It is hard to think that these… things were once proud soldiers. Usually the Heavy is pleased to be coated in the blood of his enemies, but these days he will not stop eating them. Why can he not just be satisfied with his Sandvich any more?

One Week after First Infection

While exploring the mine buildings for supplies, we chanced upon a woman’s sobbing. Ever the gallant hero, the Soldier forced his way into the outbuilding to come to the poor wretch’s aid. It was the Announcer. She is smaller than I imagined, and with sharper claws. No sooner had we disturbed her sorrow, that she leapt upon the Soldier and struck him a mortal blow. We killed her, but too late. The Soldier’s condition is grave.

8 Days after First Infection

Attempts to heal the Soldier with my Medigun have proved futile. He is changing into one of them.  I fear we may have to act before nature, as death no longer seems the barrier to our enemies it once was. The Sniper is still managing to hold them back with his rifle, and the Demoman’s sticky traps have proved successful so far. We may hold yet.

10 Days after First Infection

The Soldier is dead. I saw to it with my own weapon. I have never turned my syringes on a friend before, and I didn’t much care for it, however pleasing the sound of needle hitting flesh continues to be. Chances of getting out alive are remote. There are now too many Infected to even consider leaving our stronghold. The Demoman is running out of pipe bombs, and more importantly, liquor. I do not relish the idea of him being sober.

Two Weeks after First Infection

I fear this will be my last journal entry. We are running out of food and ammunition, and the Infected test our defenses almost ceaselessly. I can hear them as we speak, soullessly imitating the catchphrases of our allies. The Heavies (if they can be called such) have somehow learnt to kill with only their fingers. The Sniper has been hit by a brutal “Pow!”

I must put down my pen and assist the Demoman in holding the door shut. They are coming and I must

We’ve all heard of it; most of us will have played on a server where we’ve been on a team of stackers and when we’ve been playing against them. What’s more, we’ve all most likely been enraged by them. The way they dominate the other team without remorse. The way they take the fun out of Team Fortress 2 and replace it with frustration.

But you can’t spell frustration without an F, a U, and an N. And, to be honest, that is what clan stacking is. To some, clan stacking might seem like bullying. No, it isn’t! Think about it – TEAM fortress 2. It’s SUPPOSED to be played with friends, as a team. Clan stacking isn’t even that bad, in my opinion. Stacking isn’t about rolling, or even showing off leet skills. It’s about playing with your friends, the same way as you’d do normally. You could tell us to bugger off and go play matches, but Team Fortress 2 wasn’t designed for matches. It was designed for public play, with your friends, and to be frank – gibbing any sod who is in your way.

I often think one of the problems people have with clan stacking in particular is the tag itself. I see people complaining about stackers who are wearing a clan tag far more often than I see them complaining about friends wearing no tag on the same team who are doing the exact same thing. The more elitist among the clans would claim it’s jealousy - however I think differently. The main reason is simply because it’s easier to direct your e-hate towards a generic body of people than individuals. You can say” *clan name* sucks!”, but you’d look a fool if you said “Cross, Xeno, Random – you all suck!”. You really would.

Stacking itself can appear to suck the fun out of a server, but this only happens when said server isn’t functioning properly. A clan will join a server, stack the same team and instantly shouts will go up of “stacking losers!” and the like – made even worse if they start to roll. The thing is though, all that is really happening is a team is co-ordinating their attacks and defenses using an odd concept – teamwork. Yeah, it may be easier if they all know each other but with voice in-game it’s not really that hard to counter a heavy/medic combo running through the vents on turbine, for example. I should know, it happened to me only a few days ago. Bloody annoying, too. Don’t forget as well, that by using a bit of simple teamwork you can crush the clan stackers. That’s what you’re trying to achieve when you play against clan stackers – you’re filled with an infuriating rage to strike back at the stackers. It makes gameplay faster, and more enjoyable.

Part of the attraction is about playing with your friends - but sometimes, it’s more than that. It’s more than the endless gibbing of helpless BLU’s. It’s about striving to be the nastiest. The meanest. The most unforgiving bastard on the server. When a heavy-medic combo wipe out a whole team, they don’t hi-five each other and think “awesome, we’ve won the round!”. They turn to each other, and laugh – wondering who will be the first to complain about the “unfairness of teamwork”. The goal of clan stacking isn’t to win – it’s to enjoy the game. The game for which teamwork was intended to play a vital role.

So next time you play against a clan, grit your teeth and beat them. It’ll ruin their fun and make them play harder, and you’ll have a far more enjoyable game; doing what Team Fortress 2 is all about. Teamwork.