Meet The Real Engineer
I am an engineer, for real. That’s what I do for a living. When my friends see that engineer is my second most played class in TF2, they ask why I can not let go of engineering even in the fantasy world of gaming. The answer is, I am. Engineering has nothing to do with what you do in TF2, but to make my case I prepared a set of slides to introduce to you the real life engineer and compare him with his jolly TF2 counterpart.
Introduction
The TF2 engineer is a generally happy man. He works outdoors, dances and laughs. This is the kind of guy you would not mind meeting at a pub.
“Don’t tickle me there, buddy!”
But a REAL engineer works indoors and usually doesn’t see sunlight during the winter when days are shorter. Perhaps he had been a happy man who also danced and laughed, but now he is working.
“Hey, did you see that new app for G1 phone?”
Now let’s review a typical design lifecycle of an engineering product as experienced by both these fellas.
1. Conception
The TF2 engineer comes up with his own project idea based on his observations of problems experienced by his teammates.
“Hmm. Fast and weak. A gun mounted on a servo would do. Maybe a barrel gun? If I could stabilize it… hmm.. tiny rpg launcher?”
The real engineer has his project decided by some management people who likes to make decisions and pretty much nothing else.
Note that the actual engineer is not present in the meeting.
2. Design
The TF2 engineer formulates everything in his head and prepares the blueprints.
“Oh, she’s gonna be pretty!”
The real engineer, he designs everything on the computer, when he’s not checking his e-mail, reading the news, checking his e-mail, wandering around in wikipedia or checking his e-mail again.
This scene was recreated in cs_office, a counter-strike map, which takes place in a fantasy world. Normally, even a manager can’t get this much of a working space.
3. Building the prototype
The TF2 engineer works on his new toy for hours without eating or drinking. He builds everything himself, he greases and tightens every bolt, every gear.
His happy place. Artists dream of dying on stage, he dreams of dying in here.
The real engineer has his prototype built by “manufacturing people” whose job is to get half the thing wrong and blame the engineer for poor documentation.
- I don’t think that wire goes here, despite that engineer’s drawings.
- What does he know? Plug it over there.
4. Testing
The TF2 engineer field tests his prototype on live specimen, and with friends attending to share the excitement.
“Note to self, make the bulletproof glass also soundproof. Them scouts scream so bad, my ears are gonna bleed.”
The real engineer tests his prototype in a lab, using simulations and test benches on weird test stations with no internet access. <sigh>
“Yay, I got the red LED to blink! Time for a YouTube break!”
5. End User Experience
The TF2 engineer is his own customer, his own end user. He proudly uses his new toy, reaping the rewards of his hard work.
Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. “Next!”
The product built by the real engineer will be used by incompetent people who he will never see, and he is going to be haunted by the weirdest of problems reports from the field for the rest of his employment.
-This is boring. That Freeman guy is never gonna show up.
-Hey, Mike from Repairs told me to push this button that says “IFF disable”, says that gives it a real kick.
- Mike? He always cracks me up, hey, what’s that humming souaaaaaaargh..
In the end :
After a long hard day of work, the TF2 engineer enjoys some quality time with his buddies. Happiness is in small things, rare moments, anyway.
< laughter mixed with burps and loose sentences that never end >
And what about our hero, the real engineer? (Yeah he was the protagonist all along)
He sits in front of his computer and poses video game characters for an article on a gaming site. A true dystopia.
“I <3 GMOD”
Stumble it!
madlep responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 10:11 am #
Holy crap that’s some crazy good gmod work.
Hilariously funny as well
Cubic_C responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 10:48 am #
nice.
Guile responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 11:03 am #
Epic Post,
very interesting analogy.
Snitzel responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 11:04 am #
Real Engie vs. TF2 Engie.
Epic Battle
HelisPoe responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 1:13 pm #
I will now cut myself.
clamps responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 2:51 pm #
but you dont have real life spys
Ledundead responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 5:54 pm #
Dun, dun, dun da!
Hey look buddy. I’m an Engineer, and that means I sit in front of a computer all day.
UberOgden responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 6:32 pm #
Epic comparison. I just wish there were a real-life soldier or medic… hell, even a Pyro’d do!
Paper Shadow responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 6:34 pm #
Thanks for first line Ledundead:
Hey look buddy, I’m an Engineer, and that means I sit in front of a computer.
Not one of those Macs, because that was designed with a social person in mind.
I work on a PC.
Because, how am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from nagging to me redo my professional designs?
The answer, do a test.
And if that don’t work, check my E-mail.
Like this E-mail regarding the fact that Ubercharged has posted a post designed by me.
Written by me.
And you best hope… Not pointed at you…
Anonymous responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 7:38 pm #
Crap…is this the fate that awaits me when I obtain my Bachelor’s in ECE?
DrTarget responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 8:08 pm #
Personally, I think it’d be awesome if Engi turrets had a ‘disable IFF’ feature.
So many juciy targets. Sitting there, waiting to pad my score.
That or somebody won’t shut up on the mic, both viable reasons for letting my turret waste them.
John responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 9:32 pm #
I wonder how many people are studying to become engineers, hoping their job will be to defend the intel and wrench spies.
FunkyB responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 9:46 pm #
Excellent post
“Yay, I got the red LED to blink! Time for a YouTube break!”, hilarious. As a PhD in embedded systems this comment cuts very close to the bone!
oldmeme responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 9:52 pm #
That right there, was some bloody hilarious stuff. Great post.
Whimsical Goofball responded on 26 Oct 2008 at 11:34 pm #
Epic article. Haunting real, bloody hilarious and super impressive Gmod work! Keep it up, man!
And yeah, the YouTube break thing is something I do a little too often as a writer.
“Whoo! I got a paragraph right, time for YouTube!”
Jonii responded on 27 Oct 2008 at 1:39 am #
That’s one of the most hilarious things I’ve read here. Very very good. Had me smirking the whole time.
jimmy.pop responded on 27 Oct 2008 at 3:16 am #
So full of win
DuMBaZz responded on 27 Oct 2008 at 8:48 am #
Haha so much win here!
Baejung92 responded on 27 Oct 2008 at 1:26 pm #
The pics are especially awesome!
Notger responded on 27 Oct 2008 at 10:49 pm #
Sadly, this is true.
Kookies! responded on 28 Oct 2008 at 1:38 am #
Hilarious. Awesome article, awesome pictures.
Especially like the email bit…hmm…sounds familiar…
Shrake12 responded on 30 Oct 2008 at 12:40 pm #
…It’s gonna be like this for Medics too isn’t it…
(sheds a tear over a non existent Ubersaw T_T)
Meet The Real Engineer | Counter Strike Today responded on 13 Nov 2008 at 6:21 am #
[...] Random Feed wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptI am an engineer, for real. That’s what I do for a living. When my friends see that engineer is my second most played class in TF2, they ask why I can not let go of engineering even in the fantasy world of gaming. The answer is, I am. Engineering has nothing to do with what you do in TF2, but to make my case I prepared a set of slides to introduce to you the real life engineer and compare him with his jolly TF2 counterpart. Introduction The TF2 engineer is a generally happy man. He works outd [...]
Acefighter responded on 14 Mar 2009 at 1:14 pm #
Now, y’see, if they’d just blur the line a bit between the classes in TF2 and their equivalent, then real life would be so very much better.
Imagine it being a US army requirement to make speeches about not-history to severed heads, with a straight face.
Or the world’s doctors getting the ability to make people invincible.