ubercharged.net

Not too long ago, clubtheseals posted about some of the antics in our new ubercharged.net TF2 server (General Balls is credit to team!) Anyway, besides having ridiculous heavy fistfights, we also have ridiculous no-scoping matches. The rules are simple: you cannot use your SMG, you cannot scope, everything else is fair game. The conditions are crazy -low gravity is on, need I say more? But the results: well, they’re priceless. See for yourself- I know I suck at sniper, you don’t need to remind me

Both are fun videos, but the second is shorter (also, I fast-forwarded through the respawn time and the other boring parts in the second video, so you don’t need to twiddle your thumbs waiting for me to respawn).

As you can see, I actually cheated a few times and scoped, but I suck so much at sniper I didn’t even get any kills while scoped

Thanks to everyone on the server who participated in the product of my whims this awesome match.

Visit our server at 8.6.3.33:27015.

I’m shocked none of you thought of this.

Think back to the last time you got killed around a blind corner… Not to long ago am i right? I am. Stickies, sentries, heavies, scouts, basically anyone waiting around a corner has an advantage because they pop out unexpectedly and kill you. I have found a remedy for this.

You are going to get killed. What you must do is taunt at the corner and sorta pan your view with the mouse to see what awaits you. This way you wont get stickied for the 12th time this round. Now you have the ability to look around corners with out giving yourself away.

NFAQ

Dear Jimmy,

Wont i die from the sentry even if i know where it is?

Love Faithful Reader #395

Dear Reader,

Love Jimmy

Thanks to my good friend Boctor Dreen for leaving spore to come do these pictures with me.

Can you imagine a world without fire?

It would be a cold one, and not just in the literal sense. Consider the arts. What playwright could exist with no lantern to write by? Consider the world’s delicacies. Would they still tempt us without heat to cook
them? Consider the pleasures of the flesh. Without warmth, is there still pleasure?

A world without fire is not a world at all, instead it is a moon, dry and desolate and devoid of anything. Far up high, it is to that great round inferno we owe our continued existence. In our forges, it is those melting flames that give us the paraphernalia of this modern age. Within ourselves, we burn with passion and inspiration, leading us to the achievements that have furthered mankind so much.

In this spirit, I pledge myself. In praise of the pyres, I worship the wild flames. Their sizzles sing to me; their flickers fascinate me. Before nature’s passion incarnate, I am humbled. It was in this spirit that I submitted myself before fire as its eternal servant, and it is in this spirit that I carry it with me always, even in battle and especially in battle.

At first glance, what I bear may not seem much, just a wisp of a flame at the end of some metal like a blue firefly in the night. It is just a spark, but that is how all fires start. It is a seed, and a steady diet of propane lets it blossom as an infernal bouquet, both terrible and beautiful at the same time.

This is what I bear forward into the thick of conflict, as men argue over material borders and properties. To them, I bring flames almighty, so that they might raise their voices in supplication. To them, I bring a glorious inferno, to consume them and their things and their homes and their lives, all so that the fires may burn as hard and bright as they can before they die.

Made by Lit Fuse Films, screenshotted by Drexer

And die they will, for nothing lasts forever. Sooner or later, somehow or other, the burning ends and fire dies. However, every time a flame is snuffed, I am there to light another. They may push me back and put out my gifts, but I will never stop. Because as long as one fire burns, the sight and sound and smell of it fuels the fire in me. And as long as I burn with my own passion and desire, so too will the world around me.

I am a pyro; this is what I do.

Me and clubtheseals decided to start up our own franchise of Ubercharged server shenanigan videos. On the server we do lots of boxing. The people on the server pretty much go with the flow and do as the others are doing so it takes less than a minute to set up a rush. Here I’ll demonstrate some of the rushes we did.

The song was E-Pro by Beck. And thank you to G-Mod Junkie Butthurter for making the 3 class pictures you see inside the video.

If you wanna have the most fun you’ve ever had playing TF2. Just connect to 8.6.3.33:27015

It’s foreign language film week on ubercharged or something. I dunno. Anyway, there is a major sports event in Melbourne tomorrow, and I’m living like 500m from the venue. Calls for alcohol – we had drinks tonight. Not enough. Someone brought in a DVD of the 1989 grand final… nothing kills a drinking session like the kind of mullets Australian sportsmen were wearing back in the late 80s….

What does this have to do with this post? Well, while we’re talking alcohol, the last movie I posted – Gogolrush – was French. And they do good wine.

And this one is German. And they do good beer… And sandviches as it turns out:

my name is nicolas, aka panzer_kalle, working over at the german community site http://www.myteamfortress.de. i just made a small video where i describe how to make the heavy weapons guy sandvich. although the comments are in german, i think everyone around the world will understand what it is all about.

I’m hungry now.

He stalks his prey from above the canisters. Peering down onto the control point, he sees a heavy and his medic running across, trying to capture. If his mask were not in the way, one could imagine a smile across his face. He searches through his arsenal, tossing aside the flamethrower and shotgun found inside. At the very bottom he finds his one true love. Gleaming brightly at him was Betty, his trusty chopper. The blood she’s spilled, the heads she’s chopped, the curses she’s caused utterance of; all kept within metal and wood. He unsheathes his violent baby and cuts his glove slightly, making sure it cuts like butter. It does, and he moves out.

He sneaks around back, making sure he keeps out of sight. He moves in like a spy, but somehow more cloaked, and reaches the pair as they begin to cap. Over his voice communication, he hears his teammates saying to go for the medic. However, his mind knows better. While the angry shouts of his brethren play over his speakers, he attacks the heavy. It may be the amount of fat behind him, but he hardly notices Betty cutting through him like he was tender pork. As he falls down, the medic is horrified by the sight of his dead partner and begins to run. However, Betty knows where to swing to take out his opponents. With a side-splitting chop, the master assassin walks over their bodies and says…

“It must have been a bit embarrassing…”

This is the story of Don Newman, the most amazing pyro I have ever seen. Without using the flamethrower’s flames or shotgun, he is able to dominate most on the other team, climb the scoreboard, and leave us laughing and crying. Many a time I have came onto the server and shoot at Don, yet he manages to just walk slowly to me and axe me a question. There is even a machinima for him as a Batman-esque crusader known as “The Red Knight.”

For anyone who dare doubt his power, he assembled a video of both his axing and also some uberchaining.

This is a video made just for this article. This is the latest video of his powers, and they’ve improved quite a lot since the first one.

If you would like to play against this force of nature, you may join him on the main server he frequents. His server is:

ATF Humpaholics Anonymous – 8.6.77.142:27015

Additionally, I have asked him and he will visit your server for a match. Just contact either him or me on Steam and tell us when and where.

TPMX’s SteamID
Don Newman’s SteamID

Max from onlinegamer.se pointed out this kick ass piece of TF2 machinima on IRC.

From what I can tell, it was put together by =SW42=T-Fou over at Super Warriors 42 (although my French is a little rusty non-existent, so if I’m wrong on that let me know!)

Basically, it’s a demoman failing at payload on Goldrush. This has got to be one of the funniest TF2 vids I’ve seen in a long time, and the custom animations they have done are basically – excellent. No sloppy gmod flailing or in game taunts here. Just watch it. You’ll see what I mean.

It’s got French bits in it, but it’s mostly visual jokes, so you shouldn’t need translation.

wikiHow has the following jewel of information on the difference between masculinity and manliness :

“Manly is an adjective used to describe the physical and psychological characteristics of individuals traditionally associated with men, such as courage and strength. Manliness differs from masculinity in that as the latter refers to a simple biological predestination, the former is often used to describe the more sublime ideals of qualities traditionally specific to men. All males are masculine in that they are sexually male. Yet manliness looks down upon males not exhibiting full characteristics of manliness. Standards of strictly masculine and higher manly behavior have changed over time and vary a great deal depending on cultural values, upbringing and personal beliefs.”

The rest of that article is pretty messed up.

Examine the following male characters. Which one is the least manly? Why? Discuss your choice with your peers.

A – Sniper

B – Engineer

C – Puberty Galore

You’re alone on a Friday night. It’s been a long week at the office, and you need a little somethin’ somethin’ to unwind before you can get your party on for Saturday night. You don’t want to sit around and drink all by your lonesome. That’s just pathetic. Instead of getting drunk while watching re-runs of M*A*S*H, you could get drunk while pissing everyone off in TF2! With my Demoman-approved Team Fortress 2 Drinking Game™, you’ll be sure to maximize your Friday-night-fun-output while possibly cleaning up your friends list at the same time!

What You’ll Need:

• Expensive liquor of your choice. If you don’t drink, substitute something sugary. I recommend pure Kool-Aid powder.
• The cheapest bottle of tequila you can find. You don’t want to waste the good stuff once you’re sufficently drunk.
• Your lucky shot glass.
• A mic, for maximum jackassery.

The Rules:

Take a shot every time…

• Someone repeatedly calls for a medic and there’s no medic on the team.
• A sniper tries to get a headshot on you and misses.
• You hear the F-word on a family-friendly server.
• Someones screen name makes you laugh.
• You die by train on Arena_Well.
• A scout gets a domination.
• A soldier kills himself with his own rockets.
• The blue team actually wins Dustbowl.
• You see a Meat Spin or eaqually pornographic spray.
• Someone plays ”Billie Jean” over their mic.
• A screen name is so full of random letters and numbers, it’s totally illegible.
• You see a medic fighing as someone dies next to him.
• There is a group of three or more heavies eating sandviches together.
• A scout uses a teleporter.
• As a spy, you uncloak too quickly and die by sentry.
• Someone falls off the ledge in Lumberyard.
• A pyro tries to kill you underwater with his flamethrower.
• Someone dies attemping the crab spy, or the demoman’s pimp walk.
• You become so blubbering drunk you forget how to shoot.
• You pass out on your keyboard.

 Have fun folks! Just remember, always drink responsibly!*

*Not really.

You might have heard of talk of the coming zompocalypse doing the rounds in the form of Left 4 Dead – in the meantime though, there is Zombie Fortress to keep you ticking over with your zombie slaughtering needs.

Basically, it’s a zombies vs survivors mod for TF2, and they’ve just released version 1.0.0 a few days ago.

We SO have to get this on the ubercharged server. The heavy punching aspect would fit in perfectly. For the moment you can go play it on The O.C. (217.163.25.48:27015)

From the site:

Zombie Fortress is a SourceMod plugin that brings the zombie survival genre to Team Fortress 2. The survivors (RED) must fight back a horde of zombies (BLU) and survive an allotted amount of time before they are all killed and turned. Zombie Fortress is specifically designed to be compatible with a normal map rotation. Maps that are specifically designed for Zombie Fortress will automatically activate the plugin and deactivate it at the map’s end.

Features

• Adds a brand new gametype to Team Fortress 2
• Two unique sides to play as. The survivors are well armed but once killed are permanently turned into undead. The melee zombies with a quick spawn time use sheer numbers and focus fire to overwhelm the survivors.
• A fair and reliable auto-balance system to ensure all players have equal opportunity to play zombies and survivors.
• Extremely quick rounds compared to other zombie survival games. A round will at most last approximately 5 to 8 minutes.
• Extensive help system to introduce new players.
• Almost all classes have been modified in some way, adding variety to a server.

Basics

At the beginning of the round, the teams are shuffled in such a manner that 2 thirds of the players are survivors and the remaining third are zombies. Each team has classes assigned to them and they can only be that class.

The survivors (pyro, soldier, demoman, engineer, sniper, spy and medic) must prevent the zombies from capturing the control points while at the same time avoiding being killed in the process. If a survivor is killed, they join the zombie team immediately. The biggest issue the survivors face is running out of ammo, especially since the maps have very little ammo around the control points.

The zombies (scout and heavy) need to either kill all the survivors or capture all the control points to win. Unlike the survivors, the zombies are only armed with melee attacks with the exception of the heavy’s sandvich. Group efforts to take out important targets is crucial as a lone zombie will often lose to a group of survivors. All zombies have minor health regeneration.

Meet The Survivors

PYRO [Assault]: Cannot use the axetingusher. The pyro is the frontline defense against scouts and with assistance, deal with heavies. A pyro is often within melee reach and can be killed with a single heavy critical punch, so beware.

SOLDIER [Assault] Starts with double rocket ammo, this ammo returns to normal limits once the excess is depleted. Increases speed, same as demoman. The soldier with his high health is a great at stopping waves of zombies from overwhelming the survivors. However, he is not as great against single targets.

DEMOMAN [Assault] Starts with double grenade ammo, this ammo returns to normal limits once the excess is depleted. Fills the same role as the soldier but accomplishes the task differently.

ENGINEER [Support]: Cannot use the shotgun. Sentry only lasts 22 seconds and cannot be repaired/upgraded/refilled. Dispensers do not resupply and instead used as barricades. Sentries with their knockback are great for warding off zombies but require a large amount of metal to maintain.

SNIPER [Support]: Whenever the sniper kills a zombie, he regains 50 health, 5 rifle rounds and 25 SMG rounds. The sniper, alongside the spy are resource efficient ways to kill zombie heavies which normally drain a lot of the survivor’s ammunition.

SPY [Support]: Cannot use the sapper. Can cloak for 33 seconds and can attack immediately after decloaking. Fulfils the same the role as the sniper but more efficiently. However, the spy is a melee class and can easily be killed.

MEDIC [Support]: The medigun’s overheal is capped at 125% and last indefinitely. Fulfils the same the role as the sniper but more efficiently. One of the key players in the survivor’s defense and expect them to be targets of the zombies quite often.

Meet The Zombies

SCOUT: Melee only. Quick and deadly with the bat, the scout is most suited to killing the support classes. Whenever a scout is killed, he drops his bat which restores 100 ammo when picked up a survivor. If you intend on trying to drain the survivor’s resources or want to kill a pyro, go heavy.

HEAVY: Increased movement speed. Melee and sandvich only. The heavy is the siege weapon of the zombie team. He can take out most classes with one critical punch and can soak up a lot of damage due to his 300 health. A heavy zombie normally drops nothing upon death unless the sandvitch is equipped, which is dropped to be a health pickup to be used by either team. The heavy due to his slow speed is not suitable at taking out support classes alone.

BRRRAAAAAAAAIIINNNS!!!!