Exclusive music interviews with Pyro Rock Star!
Pyro Rock Star hasn’t been heard from for a long, long time, but I, Direction had the pleasure of jumping over his 6ft high barrier surrounding his mansion, bonking his guard dogs and breaking a few windows to find out what he has been up to all this time. What I got was more than I expected, for I now have the exclusive rights to interview him on his recent music discoveries! And what more would you want from a rock star than advice on what to listen to these days? There’s so much out there to hear it all!
Thanks to oldmeme for the gmod work
D: So, Pyro Rock Star
PRS: Pffrrs, rrrmmck stfffr mwwhlll do jrr ffrrn
D: What?
PRS: I SRRR RMMCK SRRR WHHL DR JRRRHHRHRH FRRRRN!
D: Um…
PRS: *pulls out axetinguisher*
D: OK WOAH WOAH, Where’s Elizabeth? I can’t understand a thing you’re saying man…
PRS: Srrrs phhhbhhy pshhhd orrt, irrl ghhrt hhr
Pyro Rock Star pulls out his flare gun and shoots it down the hall, Elizabeth stumbles in a short time later
E: Eh? huh, um, who are you?
D: I’m trying to interview Pyro Rock Star, but I can’t understand a thing he says.
E: Ok, just let me get some social lubricant into me and I’ll sit down and translate for you.
Elizabeth stumbles off to the cabinet located at the back corner of the room, pulls out a large bottle of “Crusty Pete’s Ole Rumsy” and demolishes it’s contents. She seems to be more coherent from here on in
E: Ok, let’s do this
D: So uh, Pyro Rock Star…
PRS: AAARRRRGGGHHH
E: Rock star will do just fine.
D: Oh, ok. Well, Rock Star, can you tell me and the other fine people who visit ubercharged.net what’s spinning in your stereo at this point in time?
PRS: Wrrr srr, rgghh nw Irr rriishhhirrinn trr mrhs trr bhhr!
D: …
E: He’s listening to a band called Minus The Bear.
D: Oh, cool! I haven’t heard of those guys before. Would you care to let us know a bit about them?
From here on in, I just write down what Elizabeth tells me, as I am no good with phonetics.
“Minus The Bear are a 5 piece rock band from Seattle, Washington. They have released 3 full length albums and numerous EP’s over their 7 year career, their latest being Planet Of Ice released in 2007.
Forming from previous bands Botch, Kill Sadie and Sharks Keep Moving, MTB is suprisingly the polar opposite from where they came from. They are considered a math rock band, focused on subtle technical song writing, strong drumming, atmospheric keys, smooth bass and even smoother guitar lines, with the occasional intense and memorable hook, forever leaving a song stuck in your head long after you heard it last.
Image courtesy of wikipedia
POI is their career defining album to date. Their song writing abilities really shine through on this album, with less focus on structure and more on going with the flow of the music. This change created a much more diverse sounding record, with no song sounding similar, yet all keeping the same atmosphere as a whole.
I just can’t get enough of this record! It’s replay value is astonishing and it makes for awesome music to make some bacon to!”
PRS pauses for quite sometime, before showing signs of agitation
D: Ok, well thankyou very much, Rock Star. Is there anything else
PRS stares at me for quite some time
PRS: Yrrhs, rrn.
D: Sorry, what?
E: He said run.
PRS Pulls out his flamethrower, waving it in the air and cheering like a madman
D:OK THANKYOU! I’LL SEE YOU SOON OK!
I run for the window, but not before being ignited, causing me to trip on the sill
Direction fell to a clumsy, painful death.
Direction on August 27th 2008 in pyro, team fortress 2
Stumble it!
Forscyvus responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 8:13 am #
Shameless plug or brilliant writing? YOU DECIDE!
So yeah, I think I’ve heard OF Minus the Bear, but I haven’t HEARD them. I’ll probably check them out sometime.
P.S. You got PRS right like two times. The rest are PSR.
Murdoc responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 8:30 am #
Are you in this band or something Direction?
madlep responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 8:39 am #
@Forscyvus - oops. I missed the PSR when I was checking it. Fixed.
Pinko responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 8:57 am #
I’m confused.
Spooner responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 9:01 am #
Hang on a minute, “Elizabeth Bourke” is Pyro’s assistant over at http://www.pyrorockstar.com
Anyone else notice the street address that madlep works at?
http://www.ubercharged.net/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=1467#p1467
Suspicious much?
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. [CP-N] responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 9:07 am #
Welcome to 3 months ago, Spooner.
Direction responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 10:18 am #
No i’m not, If i was then by lord i’d be a happy man.
And to Forscyvus, thanks for pointiung that out, i’ll fix that up. I was drunk when i wrote it so…
General Balls responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 12:42 pm #
So is this an article or an advertisement?
:S
madlep responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 2:06 pm #
@Spooner - There is a “Spencer” and “William” St in Melbourne as well.
Does that mean I’m the evil genius behind the Control Point podcast also?
UberOgden responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 3:04 pm #
I do not intend to listen to that music. However, I am now curious as to what kinds of Music the cast of TF2 would listen to…
Soldier sounds like a ‘War?’ by System of a Down kinda guy.
Scout… No clue. ‘Adios’ by Rammstein might fit, if only for the lyrics (What? He acts like he’s hopped up on liquid meth!).
Medic… uh… more Rammstein?
The Heavy, to me, sounds like an Adam Sandler kind of guy. ‘Piece of Shit Car’ in particular. Come on, he spends so much money on Sascha and suchwhat that he’d probably live in a hole in the ground!
Sniper: While ‘I come from a land down under’ is an obvious choice, it’s just too obvious. Maybe something from Conchord Dawn… ‘Best gun/girl/Spy in the room’…
I’ve blagged enough. I enjoyed yonder article! Watch out for snakes!
Nabanaba
Pulviriza responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 5:30 pm #
That was poorly done.
Prio responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 7:24 pm #
That’s what your mom said.
neau responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 7:37 pm #
A clever advertisement to that band?
guest responded on 28 Aug 2008 at 12:31 am #
well i hope that ubercharged.net got some money for this… :/
guest responded on 28 Aug 2008 at 12:35 am #
ok i think advertisments are annoying but dont get me wrong, i really like ubercharged.net, and if the guy(s) running this page tried to cover the costs with ads, i couldn’t care less.
=)
but publishing free advertisment would be… annoying AND stupid.
Andy C responded on 28 Aug 2008 at 2:05 am #
…that was probably the worst thing I’ve read on Ubercharged.
Spycheck McGee responded on 28 Aug 2008 at 8:24 am #
I like Minus the Bear. But this post just… wasn’t good. Sorry. But using the tenuous connection of an interview that was probably entirely fictional as a frame story to post a boring review of an album people have probably either already heard of or won’t like is just… weak sauce. Post it on amazon.com or your own blog. This isn’t even TF2 related. At all.
UberOgden responded on 28 Aug 2008 at 11:19 am #
I guess it fills in space.
Notger responded on 28 Aug 2008 at 8:19 pm #
Sad.
End of story.
mr-vinni93 responded on 28 Aug 2008 at 10:36 pm #
Very sad.
Alternative ending.
alternate ending responded on 29 Aug 2008 at 12:59 am #
Did someone call my name?
That was fucking lame.
alternate ending responded on 29 Aug 2008 at 1:03 am #
Lame-o
alternate ending responded on 29 Aug 2008 at 1:04 am #
Also i found a better website to link my name with.
Skizzerz responded on 29 Aug 2008 at 6:51 am #
I don’t get it.
Why plug this band into a TF2 blog, totally off topic.
madlep responded on 29 Aug 2008 at 8:21 am #
ubercharged didn’t get any $$$ for this.
Direction liked the music, and he wanted to do a review of it.
TF2 in Russia :) responded on 30 Aug 2008 at 3:00 am #
Sorry, but it not funny
cheese responded on 31 Aug 2008 at 9:25 am #
Well he should’ve gotten his own blog and put his ‘review’ there.
This is not your asskiss machine. Write about tee eff too
Cap'n Lee responded on 02 Sep 2008 at 2:45 am #
I completely agree, less advertising in future.
I don’t care who did or didn’t get paid for this, but this would be funny if it wasn’t intentional.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some delicious Kenco brand coffee to drink, it’s free from preservatives and tastes absolutly delicious.
Josh60502 responded on 02 Sep 2008 at 5:14 am #
Honestly though, now I want to listen to this band.
theminipanda responded on 02 Sep 2008 at 7:06 am #
I really didn’t like this because i couldn’t understand a word the Pyro said and he didn’t do anything funny. All that happened was in the first half he said he couldn’t understand and then in the second half he advertised a band he likes. This article could have been funny if he had been willing to make it longer and make the pyro more legible. The real thing that grinds my gears though, is that there were other articles waiting for review before this one and this article was published first.