Is There ANOTHER Doctor in the House?

by loafaries on August 18th 2008

I was having a particularly bad day. I decided to play a little Team Fortress 2 to blow off some steam. This was my first mistake.
None of my friends were playing TF2 at that time, and my favorite servers were either deserted or completely full. So, out of spite (but mostly boredom.), I joined a random server. This was my second mistake.

They were playing Dustbowl. “Maybe things are lookin’ up,” I thought to myself. While choosing my class, I noticed there were no medics and an appalling amount of pyros. A big red flag went up in my mind, but like an idiot, I overlooked it. I was determined to kill something, goddamn it. I chose the medic to compensate for the lack thereof. This was my third mistake. Blutsauger in hand, I barrelled out of the spawn, killed a few people, took out a sentry, and made it in time to help cap the second control point. Quite the accomplishment for a medic. I was feeling pretty good.

We’re on our way to the final control point, and new players keep flooding in until the server is full. I notice there is very little communication happening on my team, and because of that we’re getting our asses handed to us. I’m not much of a leader, but I try to take charge and direct people to get a good offence going. From the silence I assumed everyone would rather charge out blindly and die as opposed to using actual strategy, so I grudgingly go back to healing everyone. I should have just left, but I take the Hippocratic Oath to heart when I play medic, so ditching them would leave me feeling guilty. I stayed put. Mistake number four.

Somehow, we managed to push the R.E.D.s back to their control point, and we hunkered down for the long battle to get around that corner and cap the point. My team was a complete train wreck. Our Spy was every newbie cliché rolled into one package, there were pyro guts everywhere, the demomen were randomly lobbing grenades around the corner, and all four snipers weren’t helping at all. There was no one patrolling the underground pass, there’s one dispenser for all of us, and the only engie on the team is trying to build a sentry in the same spot, every single time, and every time it gets blown up by a rocket. I’m in the back, healing all these shmucks, getting back-stabbed left and right, and wondering why the hell I am the only medic on a team of 16.
C'mon man!

It’s difficult to be a decent, tactical medic when there is a line of irritated players behind you, screaming obscenities over the voice com while you’re trying to pop an uber and make some progress. I suggested we remedy the situation by having at least two other medics on the team, because I’m getting a little frustrated being the team dispenser. Mistake five. A man with a severe southern drawl informs me we don’t need any more medics, and that I “jus’ need ‘ta learn ‘ta play ther class right.” (My apologies to those living in the southern United States.)

So, according to his logic, it’s my fault we’re losing, because you only need one medic on a team of 16, if it’s played correctly. Frankly, I was a little dumbstruck. Can someone honestly be that stupid? I say to this guy, “Look, I can’t uber someone, and then have the rest of the team yelling at me for not healing them. Get more freakin’ medics out here. Get more dispensers out here. Quit bitching if you’re missing 40 health. You could probably die, respawn, and get back here faster than I could get around to healing you. I might be a medic, but I’m here to do more than heal, I’m here to keep the offence going. If you don’t like how I’m playing, then respawn and show me how it’s done.”

There was a long pause.

“Well… Yer jus’ a womun. This is a man’s game. Yew dunno how ‘ta play right.”

Wh-wha-what?!

I didn’t even know what to say. In all my TF2 experience, not once has gender had an effect on gameplay. I’ve seen women dominate better and more frequently than the boys. I’ve had female players step up to the role of team leader with better strategies than anything the men had come up with. Now I’m no feminist, but girls can play too. I had the highest score on the whole team! To even insinuate that my vagina, not the 1:16 medic ratio, is the reason we’re losing is the most ignorant and retarded thing I have ever heard anyone say.

I was sputtering and tripping over words, I was so belligerent.

So I rage-quit. Now they don’t have a medic to blame.

First thing I’d done right all day.

A big welcome to loafaries, with a kick ass rant. And great original artwork :D – madlep

63 Comments »

loafaries on August 18th 2008 in medic, rants, team fortress 2

Stumble it!

63 Responses to “Is There ANOTHER Doctor in the House?”

  1. Miyari responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 8:12 pm #

    Been there, done that – as both a female player and the only medic on a team of 16, I feel your pain. <3 Love the art, and welcome! ;)

  2. Direction responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 8:13 pm #

    Very nice, and congratulations on your first post.

  3. johannromberger responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 8:20 pm #

    lovely TF2 artwork, keep it up!

  4. skyeslipstream responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 8:24 pm #

    Being the lone Medic on a team gives you so much responsibility; people expect you to be f**kin’ perfect. Then again, so is every other class, but the Medic is probably the one people feel they need to rely on the most.

    Seriously, having seven people spamming the “Medic!” command won’t make me do my job faster. I’m healing people that are on the front line doing their job, not the Spies fannying about trying to imitate the ‘FYI I am a Spy’ video or the Heavies that AREN’T EVEN HURT. I’m not gonna follow you like a friggin’ babysitter.

    I also find that female players have a harder time for two reasons. The first is the myth that female players are automatically worse, which is illogical considering both genders have equal potential for gaming skills such as hand-eye coordination and tactical leadership. The second is the ‘letchers’, as I call them (anyone seen the I.T. Crowd? No? u sux). You know, the people who instantly stop playing and try to get a girlfriend. No offense, but chances of that happening are about the same as BLU winning Dustbowl.
    Which hardly ever, ever happens.

    So brilliant rant there, another one I can connect to (even though I’m a guy, I can understand the issues female players must put up with). Well done.

    The South isn’t going to rise again, thank God.

  5. Amra responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 9:24 pm #

    Many times, when a team is throughly overpowering the other, it is because it has none or only one medic, while the other team has two or three.

    I would not have quitted just because something someone says (he probably enjoyed making you leave); but then again if you were not having fun, it was a sensible thing to do.

    The facial expression of the medic in the first picture is very funny. :-D

  6. J3553 responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 9:30 pm #

    Bravo. Great post. ;-)

  7. Newt Pulsifer responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 9:46 pm #

    That’s a pretty good artwork indeed!! :D

  8. Xeno responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 9:51 pm #

    Joining a 32 man server was your FIRST AND ONLY MISTAKE! Everything you did after that is NULL AND VOID because you weren’t playing the game! You were playing Deathmatch Fortress. I would have thought you knew this.

    On the other hand, it was wrong of him to say that, but no doubt if he says “lrn2medic” when you’re keeping mostly everyone alive, he’s the sort of person whos book of witty responses covers “YOUR MUM” and “f0rk off”.

  9. Xeno responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 9:52 pm #

    …I don’t suppose the name of your rant was supposed to be a pun was it? Please say it was. It’s just too good to turn down. House FTW!

  10. General Balls responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 9:56 pm #

    What Xeno said, seeing the big “32″ in the server description should have averted your eyes immediately.

    Maybe it’s the servers I frequent (I just hang around random Internode/GameArena servers), but I’ve never encountered anyone so ignorant. Also, it might be because I’m in Australia rather than America. :P

    *hides*

  11. General Balls responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 9:57 pm #

    I should have said I love the artwork in my first post. But I didn’t. So I’m saying it now.

    I love the artwork. :D

  12. clubtheseals responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 10:22 pm #

    Great first post! Excellent artwork, superb writing. Why does everyone hate 32 player servers? I can’t stand 24 player servers, 32 player servers let the teams be more balanced.

  13. Notger responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 10:31 pm #

    Everyone hates 32-servers because the tend to make the game a Deathmatch.

    I prefer 16-slot-servers, though it makes teams more uneven. But hey, in the end, one team has to be better, hasn’t it?

    Otherwise, the game could be called “Stall Fortress”. ;)

  14. Hain responded on 18 Aug 2008 at 11:22 pm #

    I really enjoy it when someone on my teams tells how to play my class – even though I am much higher on the scoreboard than him, even though I joined AFTER him.

    There was this “scout” telling me where to place my sentry. Talk about annoying.

  15. n00bie51 responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 12:14 am #

    I’m sorry you had to experience that.

  16. loafaries responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 1:25 am #

    Oh wow, I just woke up to all these comments. XD Thanks everyone.

    @ Xeno: The server was at a sensible size when I joined, and I’ve never been in a 32-man game I’ve not enjoyed. I have to say that this was the only time it sucked.
    And yes, that was a House joke. :P Good eye.

    @ Hain: Better than “NEED A DISPENSER HERE. NEED A DISPENSER HERE. NEED A DISPENSER HERE. NEED A DISPENSER HERE.”

  17. Pad See Ew responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 1:50 am #

    TF2 is full of idiot players like the one you described. The constant whining needs to really stop.

    I have a theory that most of these folks are TF noobs. Sure, they’re good at FPS in one form or another, but they just can’t imagine that maybe the reason no one was helping them at their Hero Moment was because half the team was in respawn.

    And the other half didn’t care about their little bitch ass.

  18. Sanns responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 1:50 am #

    One of our female regulars was on the other night, and after she made some constructive comment (I forget exactly what; maybe something like “Spy on the left side”), a visitor asked the unusual question “Is that a girl, or a 12-year-old boy?”

    We decided to convince him it was the 12-year-old boy, just for !@#$s and giggles.

  19. Coded One responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:39 am #

    Ugh, I honestly feel ashamed that a guy from the south made that remark. Being from the south myself, I hate it when people just jump into the sexist, racist stereotypes. And trust me, many of these stereotypes are completely justified. If we ever have another civil war, I’m moving to New York.

    And I hate it when age or gender changes people’s opinion of your skill. I’m not a female, but my voice hasn’t dropped yet. I don’t know how many times I’ve been mistaken for the opposite gender, which I don’t mind. But when they think I’m any less of a player, it pisses me off.

    Join a Control Point server, their community is really nice. I’ve never had anyone complain about me using my mic on there.

  20. RJ-Pilot responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:43 am #

    Liking the spy in line with a knife up his butt XD

  21. kristin responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:45 am #

    Wow. That just makes me sad, I really kind of thought that kind of stupidity didn’t exist on Team Fortress. Maybe I have’t been playing long enough to hear it or something.

    Seriously. Dude needs to gtfo to the Halo 2 X-Box Live chat.

  22. loafaries responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:50 am #

    @ CodedOne: Move to Oregon, we’re better.
    But yeah, the Control Point servers are great. I’m often on the GamersAnonymous.Net server, which is also very friendly.

    @RJ-Pilot: God I was hoping someone would notice that. XD It’s actually a baseball bat.

  23. Forscyvus responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 3:07 am #

    Demoman {:C

    Yay for the rant.

  24. Alex responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 3:48 am #

    Just lovely.

  25. Lord Destructo responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 4:04 am #

    I feel bad for being a human who has a higher percentage of testosterone already.

    That was one convincing rant, and it definitely threw my support behind you. It seems like some people have to resort to lowly, uncivilized retorts when they can’t reply the intellectual argument of a person of higher calibre.

  26. Anonomous Contributor. responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 5:37 am #

    The only time I knock people down while playing TF2 is when they’re bad players, not thier Gender, Age, or…… Name. I don’t care if you’ve got a name like, uashdifuabsid, if you’re a credit to the team, it doesn’t matter.

  27. oops responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 5:38 am #

    OMG! I had the same experience on Saturday night…only I cut my losses much earlier…
    Any other recommends for “nice” servers?
    Very good artwork!
    …oops

  28. Sanns responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 6:28 am #

    Clubtheseals: my personal adversion to 32-man servers (and most peoples’, I beleive) is that they become extremely difficult to coordinate. Classes like spy become insanely difficult and classes like demoman become insanely easy just because of all the additional crossfire. Plus, I think individual accomplishments feel too mitigated on a 32-man server–i.e., even if you get hot and destroy 3 people in a row, it won’t matter because there’s still 13 others left.

    Imagine this defense for Dustbowl 3-1: 4 demomen, 3 engineers, 2 medics, 2 heavies, 2 pyros, 1 soldier, 2 snipers. The demomen can have a permanent sticky carpet out, the 3 SGs should be able to cover everyone’s flank, the heavies can keep constant suppression fire, and the medics can uber-pyro rush more than twice a minute. Even if Blu can mount an offense and uber-out 2 SGs, there’s still 1 left and the engineers can easily rebuild afterwards. As an individual, there’s very little you can do in that situation other than try to rally your team and hope EVERYONE coordinates together well enough to make a successful push, and that usually doesn’t happen in Pubs.

  29. madlep responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 6:41 am #

    Just for the record, I was playing on a 32 player insta-spawn turbine server with no time limit as a heavy.

    And clubtheseals was medicing me and we were losing by 75 caps to 29 in the 453rd minute AND I KEPT ON DYING while blindly charging the middle.

    WTF? LERN 2 PLAY SEALS LOL!!!1

  30. clubtheseals responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 7:25 am #

    NO U N33D TO LERN2PLAY MADLEP WE ONLY GOT LIKE 40 ASSISTS IN LIEK 5MINS. THIS IS THE LAST TEM I PLAY WITHA CONTRIBUTOR!!!!1!!111!!!!

  31. b4dboyz- responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 7:35 am #

    Were you playing on your clanserver seals? I love playing on your #2 turbine server when its half full.

  32. clubtheseals responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 7:53 am #

    I think so

  33. Arsenal IV responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 7:59 am #

    Congrads on your first post Morgan. Awesome artwork. Plus, I know the feeling. Since I’m half black people think I’m the butler or something. “Healing for you sir”,”I’ll heal you in a second sir”. Its a little hateful. Welcome aboard.

  34. sole responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 8:22 am #

    I woulda switched to the other team after that just to own the @*#! outa him…..

  35. madlep responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 10:08 am #

    @clubtheseals – You got the assists. I got the REAL kills for doing the REAL work :P

  36. burnin' a millie responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:57 pm #

    go play sims loafaries

  37. clubtheseals responded on 19 Aug 2008 at 8:45 pm #

    right. I ONLY KEPT YOU FROM BEING GROUND INTO STEAK. sorry for being such a burden to your heavy awesomeness.

  38. loafaries responded on 20 Aug 2008 at 3:34 am #

    Seals, that’s a good thing. You don’t want to grind up steak unless you’re making a burger for a five-star restaurant. Steak is too good for that.

    and @burnin’ a millie, I was actually playing The Sims when you left that comment. :D I do hope you’re happy.

  39. nubcaike responded on 20 Aug 2008 at 5:34 pm #

    Medic is my most played class, and this post beautifully sums up why you don’t see medics often.

  40. Josh responded on 21 Aug 2008 at 3:56 am #

    I don’t play medic anymore because nobody ever takes the hint when I put the ubercharge on them.

  41. Danielle responded on 21 Aug 2008 at 8:51 am #

    Yay for lady TF2 gamers! :D *waves flag* Great art, too.

  42. Victor responded on 24 Aug 2008 at 1:45 pm #

    You sound like a whiney bitch. Its a video game.

  43. Buzzy Beetle responded on 24 Aug 2008 at 4:43 pm #

    As a fellow female player, I can sympathies with you and people thinking just because you have boobs you can’t game.

    I actually had a guy ragequit on me when he found out the person who was continually dominating him was a girl, but that’s for another time.

    Nehoo, it irritates me to no end to see guys who pull the gender card, like a few people in this comments section. It’s better if people are viewed for their playing skills rather than their sex. And don’t give me that “There are no girls on the internet/in video games!” bullshit. Guess what gaise? Times are a’changing. Either change with it or gtfo. MAGGOTS.

  44. Bar_Barian responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 9:26 am #

    Wow loafaries (great handle, by-the-by) I’m astonished and chagrinned at the heckling you received, and ashamed that it was gender based…

    I am a very casual player… I probably log less than 20 hours a week on TF2… but I have still logged over 30 hours as a medic… what is this insane need people have to blame the medic?? I recognize the facial expression on the medic in your first picture, as I’ve made it many times…

    and yet, I persevere… by all means, add Bar_Barian to your steam friends list (I hope you play on PC, as that’s how FPSs were /meant/ to be played ;) and I promise you will never be the only medic on a team again… hehe

  45. Bar_Barian responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 9:29 am #

    *PS*
    madlep: last server I was on gave 2 points for a kill, 1 point for an assist, and 5 points for a medic assist… looks like their priorities are set up about right ;)

  46. Himmelstoss responded on 27 Aug 2008 at 9:31 am #

    Wow. I don’t play medic unless my team doesn’t have one, but then everyone thanks me. I still feel your pain! I’ve heard lots of people gripe about medics.

    Get some more favorite servers, too.

  47. Friendly responded on 29 Aug 2008 at 3:40 am #

    As a woman, I never turn on voice chat and play my favorite class–medic–as best I can without being able to hear what’s going on. Yeah, I gimp myself doing this.
    But I refuse to subject myself to people’s bullshit. Until the day I can get a mike that makes me sound like a man.
    Most men don’t realize the constant torment that it really is to be a person who wants to play a game and be a part of the team just like everyone else but never can because my voice is too high.
    Yes, I am reaching my medic achievements through not cheating, thank you. I may not be the best player because I can’t hear but I am doing alright.
    Good luck to you all.

  48. Bob responded on 16 Sep 2008 at 2:13 am #

    ” I’ve seen women dominate better and more frequently than the boys.”

    Doubtful. How would you even know?

    But yeah, people who freak out about women playing need to GTFO. And people who complain when you’re the only medic (and won’t switch to medic) also should GTFO.

  49. vivi responded on 16 Sep 2008 at 9:23 am #

    Assholes, on the internet ?

    Next time, just don’t heal him, let him rage and call for your help, and when he’s died before you, mock him with your evil, high-pitched laugh.

    Also very funny drawings.

  50. Rusty responded on 16 Sep 2008 at 2:35 pm #

    YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL

  51. Dag responded on 18 Sep 2008 at 7:44 am #

    Very awesome article. I can relate to that completely. I wrote an article along the same lines (http://www.gameolosophy.com/Games/Online/How-Not-to-Treat-Your-Medic.223559).

    As a woman playing this game, I find it very amusing to start doing really well and then finally talk. It’s fun to hear all the people I’ve been playing with for half an hour go into shock.

  52. JOP responded on 22 Sep 2008 at 2:48 am #

    My wife and I play, and although we’ve experienced some pretty bad teams, we’ve yet to run into rampant misogyny.

    Ironically, we have come to loath the voice of another young on one of the server’s we frequent. Every time her mic comes on, it sounds like she’s pandering to the men in the group: “Hey, hey, guys? Guys? They’re building a sentry in the tunnel. Don’t let them do it, guys. Don’t let them build it in the tunnel.”

    It’s like playing with Navi.

    As for the 32 player servers… I have to agree. We both started out playing as Scouts, and proved utterly ineffective. Obviously there’s a fine art involved in playing the class, but moving to a 24 player server was a revelation.

    No more death by Demoman every ten seconds.
    No more triple sentry gun arrangements.
    No more gangs of roving, rocket-spamming Soldiers.

    Long and short of it is that if you play as a weaker, more mobile class; and then you add in enough extra players to remove that mobile advantage; well…

  53. VileTerror responded on 25 Oct 2008 at 6:15 am #

    Very nice article! I’ve had a number of similar experiences in a few games, and I find that certain games seem to attract more misogynists than others. Particularly: games with guns.

    I know quite a few girl gamers who enjoy TF2, but I’ve noticed that compared to the male players on my Steam Friends list, the girls tend to stick to one, MAYBE two servers, while the males will bounce around like they’re hopped up on some kind of stimulant.
    Has it been the experience of girl gamers that it is “unsafe” to play on random servers due to ignorance from men like the one in the recounted experience above?
    Have you found it exceedingly difficult to find a server which doesn’t contain regulars who are misogynistic and lowbrow, that when you find a good one, you stick to it?
    Or is it true that “girls are just more socially minded than males and will stick to a single community instead of drifting”?

    When I get home from work today, I’ll post a link to this article in the IGDA Women_Dev mailing list and pose similar questions.

    And just so it’s not misinterpreted: I am by no means insinuating EVERY female gamer, EVERY male gamer, or EVERY server is the same as every other female/male/server. Just curious for a paper I’m writing about what the experiences have been of females and online gaming.

  54. Primee133 responded on 30 Oct 2008 at 2:58 am #

    Aye, with this, I can agree fully, even as a guy. I only frequent about two different servers, both of which are run by the same group of TF2 fanatics. Our head admin just so happens to be a girl, and normally this doesn’t change much. Of course we’ll get the rare sexist asshole in there, who inevitably gets banned, but it doesn’t change much.

    Just goes to show female gamers are as capable as males in games, even running a whole clan. The only difference I’ve actually noticed between the two is that the girls tend to never be insulting or have an angry demeanor, and are normally always polite, something that more gamers should learn to be with their microphone.

    The only percentage of generalized gamers that I really can’t stand are the pre-pubescant kids, you know, the ones that appeared to have taped down their mic button and drank a case or two of Red Bull and can’t seem to close their mouth.

    I’m sure we can all relate to eachother’s pain.

  55. SAC responded on 31 Oct 2008 at 8:30 am #

    Eediots with noe medic! Zhey noe nussing! Ignore zees drunk pansies und try to join zee other team next time. Und ignore zee hillbillies und cowboys who can’t play for zee nuts.

    Not that I’m a regular medic (in fact, it’s right there at the bottom with the Heavy, at 15 hours.), mind you, but I’ve definitely felt the pangs of an ungrateful team who treat you like you’re some kind of dispenser. Not any longer, since my regular usually has nice people, but still.

    Also, there’s only one girl I’ve played with on TF2. Good shot. Listens to commands and executes them well. Warns people and comes up with good ideas. Helps teh team, dammit!

  56. Jigglesthefatman responded on 03 Dec 2008 at 4:37 pm #

    Now, theres just one onething I won’t stand for at all, and that’s discrimination. You should’ve changed teams (if it wasn’t full) and beat the shit out of that intoleratable disgrace.

  57. General Goose responded on 12 Jan 2009 at 7:51 am #

    I would have went spectator. Watched them all get owned.

  58. The Thankless Jobs | ubercharged.net responded on 15 Jan 2009 at 9:42 am #

    [...] Yes? Then let me give you an example. You thank a Medic when he saves you from the brink of death Hopefully, yes? But have you ever thanked the Engie who built a Dispenser which is almost always there for [...]

  59. Hissanrach responded on 09 Feb 2009 at 10:52 am #

    I almost always play medic because most teams have so few. I’ve been on teams with about 4 heavies, 3 pyros and 3 demos but no medics! Come on…

  60. anonymous responded on 04 Mar 2009 at 9:47 am #

    r u a gurl? Like with ovaries and everything?

  61. Awesomeface responded on 17 Aug 2009 at 9:52 pm #

    I just played a game & YES I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL OMG. I WANT TO POKE THEIR BRAINS OUT.

  62. Mahkia responded on 30 Aug 2009 at 9:10 pm #

    As a girl gamer (who also lives in Oregon!) I gotta say I loved this article. Rampant sexism like that just blows my mind. As do stupid people in general.

  63. SweetLikeGravy responded on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:05 am #

    as a guy gamer, I wanna put aside the issue of sexism and just throw this out there- who the FUCK thinks of nerdy computer games as “men’s games”!? I mean, maybe jerks like that guy are abundant when it comes to, oh I dunno, physical activities, but I mean it’s a game where you press WASD and click a mouse, basically

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