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Listen up, boyo! Yeh, you, with the wee little sausage hangin’ ‘tween yer… teeth. Ye think yer a fine brammer of a fellow, fit to blooter every’n aboot sheerleh by the size a’ ya’ prized cheenies! You think yehr a reeeal Demoman, prancin’ aboot with yer fanceh grenades, an’ yer stickeh boombs. But when’s the lest time ye really made one of them BLU’s get clamped save fer sayin’, “Oi! The game’s a bogey!” Dae, ye now? That often?

Chook, is it nae? An’ I suppose ye’ve seen Jessica Alba’s diddies in the flesh, nae, have ye! SHUT YER GUB! Nae, ye haven’t! Here’s why! You don’t know ‘ow ta really be a Demoman, do ye? No. Because ye’re still usin’ that there grenade luncher! That’s nae good, thraw it away, and use a real men’s weapon- the Stickeh Luncher! Not until ye’ve mastered these ‘ere techniques, whuch evereh wee lassie in Scotland aught ta knae! We’ll make a man outta you, yet!

A little gaes a lung wae!

You never need to blow all of your stickies at once. Blow your bombs slowly, at the point when each does the most damage. The accumulating wounds will force your opponent to consider if they can really win the fight, giving you an immense psychological advantage and enabling you to move in for the kill. Also, if your opponent is anywhere within the blast radius of a crit blow it as fast as you can.

Cunsarve yer stickehs!

Maximize ammo potential by evaluating the number of necessary stickies for each job. The sticky launcher has a slow reload time; don’t waste your shots:

• 2 stickies: Level 1 sentry, dispenser, teleporter (either end)
• 2-3 stickies: Low-health classes- Scouts, Spies, Snipers, and Engineers.
• 3 stickies: Level 2 or 3 sentry.
• 3-4 stickies: Medium-health classes- Demomen, Pyros, and Medics.
• 4-5 stickies: Soldiers.
• One metric f**kton: Heavies.

Slice ‘em off like a bit a’ bad haggis!

Make your opponent’s feasible field of movement smaller by shooting ahead of, then straight at, then behind, your opponent. This strategy, used well, can end all your troubles with Scouts, Medics and the like. The strategy sets up a smaller target so that youcan lay the rest of the needed stickies for a kill. If they try to run before you’re ready, gib ‘em.

Bogart the Soldier’s tactics!

When at a distance or height disadvantage, forego carpeting the area with stickies in favor of firing them one by one and detonating them in midair. It’s better than the notoriously unreliable grenade launcher.

Gae on a bender! (Not whut yae think)

Due to the way the Demoman holds the sticky launcher, the stickies end up flying to the right of the crosshair. Thus, if you aim right at a corner and fire the sticky launcher, it will go around the corner – a useful technique for the peskier sentries!

Use cover ta charge!

Before popping out from behind cover, charge up your sticky launcher so that you’re ready to fire. Useful for pestering snipers and for chasing faster classes.

Ye can’t look aut fer what ye dunt ken is there!

Use roofs, grates, corners, doorways, and rafters to your advantage. Lay your stickies and detonate them as the enemy passes through. Sticky bombs can damage opponents through grates, and nobody ever looks down.

The hoonter becaums the hoonted!

A Demoman is in heaven when an enemy is chasing him. As long as you have distance to think, lay stickies in your path. Just don’t detonate immediately, or you’ll go up too. Think ahead to what your opponent will do- is he a Soldier, hell-bent on your doom? Lay stickies where he can’t see them and blow them away with rockets. Is he a Scout, running for the intel? Put stickies along his likely path. If they are crawling up your tailpipe, just look down and lay them as you run.

Well nae ye ken, then! Enough tips to become a competent Demoman. Nae get those demons gluin’, and I’ll see you in Hell!

And more demoman love from Cadillac. Joining the demoman rampage on ubercharged at the moment. Welcome – madlep