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Balakirev’s Volga Boatmen, it is tune of deep sea currents. When I listen, it moves through me like mighty vessel on foggy seas. Then, there is Khachaturian and his Sabre Dance, light and fast like duelling bumblebees. For my ears, it is like spring rain on young grass, melting snow and turning lands green again.

But in this whole world, there is no song like yours. When your barrels spin and hum that single high note, it goes straight past my ears and into my soul. Then, I feel bliss, like my heart is lifted into clouds. That is not your full song though, oh no, and it is not for me alone to hear. You are minigun, Sascha, a weapon that weak men cannot carry. Among all other guns, You are like star singer of opera, and it would be tragedy not to share your voice.

That is why I am here. I am an expert of weapons only the mightiest may wield, and I bring my skills and strengths to make you shine. Only I can make your barrels turn; only I can hold you as you should be held. When gates open and men are called to battle, I am the one who can bring you to my foes. They will be your audience.

I am not quick man, in mind or body, so I am not always first to fight or perform graceful leaps. But that is okay, is fine. It is like in music, every note doesn’t come at same time. First, there is beginning with little pistol tunes. Then come the other sounds, the pows of rifles and booms of rockets; wrenches clank and fire sizzles. After all that, it is time for climax; it is time to enter, you and I.

Begin! Start your song and let cowards know what comes! Let angels hear and come to pick up those who fall! Let bullets be your drums and punch out your rhythm! Send forth your notes, and we see who lives or dies!

And through all this, I am behind you, lifting you and pointing you to where cowards be, so you may test them with bullet notes. On my own, I am not much, just big man with big fists and heavy feet. But together, we turn paths of lesser men. Together, we go only where we want to go. When we move, none can sway us; when we stop, none can shift us. Alone, we are just heavy things, but together, we are strong! Together, we are killers!

Together, we are alive!

I am Heavy Weapons Guy. This is what we do.