Players you dont want on your Team Fortress 2 Team - Endangered Spy Crab
I’m normally not the outdoorsy type, but this strange creature kept luring me back into the wild. If you haven’t guessed, the perplexing creature I speak of is the rare Endangered Crab Spy. This peculiar creature tends to inhabit the region known only as Dustbowl. It appears to be a newer species of spy, and is much rarer than the also rare “HOLY S**T MY SPINE SPY” and the ever entertaining “That dick just facestabbed me OMGZ0RZ!!!1! Spy”. This type of spy, apparently missing the coordination to walk fully upright or defend itself, usually lasts about 5 seconds before being killed.
NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.
Alright, enough of the poor nature-show-host impersonation and on to the hatred. I am sick of the annoying little pricks who all go spy and do this stupid “crab spy” thing. If you’re going to be worthless, create a server for you and your little friends to dick around in. It was funny at first, but an animation glitch can only be taken so far. The joke is completely dead now and most people only have themselves to blame. This was funny at the end of a match after a victory or a loss, not during the last cap on Dustbowl.
JUST QUIT ALREADY.
Today, while I was playing Dustbowl (GREAT MAP, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MISSING), 4 members of my team took it upon themselves to fill the servers dumbass quota. Then, when some other members of my team saw the original dumbasses, they decided that it would be fun to do the same. A team cannot function with 7 people afflicted by dumbass fever (incurable, I’m sad to say). I responded to the epidemic and cut it off at the source with a healthy dose of PERMABAN. I can understand why they decided to do it, everyone enjoys a good laugh (except perhaps rabid bears), but it’s the when of the situation that bothers me. I personally have no problem with dicking around during the setup phase or during humiliation (because you just couldn’t win’ could you?), but this really need to stop.
On a side note, ENOUGH WITH ACHIEVEMENT FARMING ALREADY. The worthlessness of achievement farmers rivals that of crab spies. Yet again on Dustbowl today, I found medics still farming achievements. Just play the game. You never know, with some hard work, you might just get yourself an achievement or two.
(Yeah, I was on the same server with clubtheseals last night, and I can attest to how the game was rocking until these 3 dumbasses showed up, screwed up our side, unbalanced the whole game, and turned it into a steam roll against us - madlep)
On a side side note, in response to a comment on my last post: Medics farming achievements on a real server are worse than medics farming on an achievement server. Because at least on an achievement server they’re not interfering with the actual game.
Spooner, you have a long way to go to be the most hated ranter on ubercharged.net -clubtheseals
clubtheseals on July 23rd 2008 in community, rants, server, spy, team fortress 2
Stumble it!
Murdoc responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 8:46 am #
I like Spy Crab. They always make me smile.
I have never had a load of them persistently spoiling the game though.
General Balls responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 8:59 am #
Four posts at once!
*head explodes*
supremesonic responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 9:08 am #
Haha, Madlep, I caught that on the screenshot. Made me laugh.
Anyway, seen this on the 360 version as well, but thankfully they only screwed around with it during setup, so I had a laugh. How do you do it anyway? Just equip the disguise kit and look up? I need to know for, well, y’know… Research purposes. *cough*
madlep responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 9:29 am #
@General Balls - yeah, I logged in this morning, and everyone had submitted stuff all at once. So I just published it all.
Spooner responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 9:37 am #
HAH!
Bring it seals. We’ll see who’s the master ranter with the most hate after my next post
echelon responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 10:31 am #
“On a side side note, in response to a comment on my last post: Medics farming achievements on a real server are worse than medics farming on an achievement server. Because at least on an achievement server they’re not interfering with the actual game.”
First quoted on Ubercharged, next the WORLD!
Ahem.
I agree with you there.
I guess the lesser of the two evils is to have them do it on separate servers designed for the purpose. But, doesn’t it cheapen the experience? Wouldn’t it seem more like an ‘achievement’ if you actually unlocked the new weapons by actually playing the game?
Valve might as well release cheat codes to unlock everything, the result is the same. Its like stealing someone else’s Oscar. You might have it on the mantelpiece, but you did nothing to earn it.
Cholfo responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 3:25 pm #
Imposing a permaban for silliness, which apparently does not fall under your narrow view of “HOW TF2 MUST BE PLAYED,” shows far more significant mental deficiency than crab spying for lullz. Punishing players for playing on your server in a fashion different from that which you wish them to play, short of flat-out griefing, makes you a power-abusing ninny.
Congratulations on your “TAKE MY GAME SERIOUSLY GUYS” rant.
General Balls responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 4:20 pm #
To tell the truth, I’ve never encountered this. Then again I don’t get much time to play.
Rask responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 6:38 pm #
How does one actually do this, then?
Bo Steed responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 8:19 pm #
@Cholfo
Just a thought, but you know… if it’s your server… isn’t it your right to decide how people play? That’s not power abuse. That’s just running your server. I know I have wished several times than admins would bring the banhammer to bear on people like this, because every so often, I don’t like being the one getting gibbed repeatedly while my useless enemy crab team waddles in circles at the respawn. Sure, it’s funny between matches. Oh, those spies just look so silly. But (crazy thought alert) I play TF2 to play TF2, not stand around and wait for the timer to run down while those HILARIOUS spies wander aimlessly.
They want to play the game their way and be useless, let them get their own server. I want to actually play the game and if I had my own server, I’d certainly enforce my right to do so.
/rant
Murdoc responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 8:30 pm #
@ Rask
1. Go Spy
2. Get out your disguise kit
3. Point it to the sky
4. Crouch
5. Wander about trying not to bump into everything.
clubtheseals responded on 23 Jul 2008 at 10:31 pm #
I love banning for silliness. I have no problem with this sort of thing during setup or after a match, but not during it. I hate when people ruin games by doing things like this.
Pinko responded on 24 Jul 2008 at 2:44 am #
Only team I’d ever seen it during a match was on that one video on Vimeo that showed me how to do it.
Must have sucked, man.
P. H. responded on 24 Jul 2008 at 4:06 am #
I know it’s not my server, but… permabanned for goofing around for a while? That’s a bit harsh, I think. After all, some of my best times in TF2 have been when everyone on the server stops playing seriously and jumps on the silliness bandwagon.
clubtheseals, did you at least ask them to stop before kicking them out?
clubtheseals responded on 24 Jul 2008 at 7:00 am #
Of course I asked them to stop before I banned them. When people ignore admins though things don’t always end well.
Wossname responded on 24 Jul 2008 at 7:33 am #
I admin a server and have kicked (no bans yet) people for “silliness,” too. There is a point where such behaivor becomes deliberate griefing. When the unrepentant (the keyword here) antics of one player are ruining the experience for a dozen others, I will take action.
That being said, my server still enjoys the crab walk, though we generally organize crab-only intel races in Hall of Death.
Sanns responded on 24 Jul 2008 at 9:07 am #
Depends on the server, IMHO. The server I like to play on is a pretty strick pub. They’ve banned for team-killing, exploiting, intentional glitching, verbally harassing other players (extensively), sexually harassing other players, griefing, playing music/sounds over voice-chat, and even trying to provoke others into leaving the server. They even have scripts to auto-ban. If an admin manually bans you, it’s always a perma-ban, never a kick or a temp-ban (although some of the addons are temp-bans). If they decide to ban a member of a particular clan whose clan members also frequent the server, they will often ban all those clan-members as well (to spare potential retaliation).
Now, some would call this degree of moderation extreme for a pub server, and I would probably agree. But I REALLY enjoy the result. There’s minimal goofing around, most of the games are competitive, and it’s a very clean and friendly game environment. Conversely, some of the other pub servers I try are a painful for me to participate in: admins will blair sound effects, kids will spam music, and every now and again you see jerks trying to re-enact the latest Team Rhomba video. Then again: other people prefer these types of servers over the regimental ones I enjoy. It’s all a question of taste. Fortunately, there’s plenty of servers out there so its feasible (albeit tedious) to find one that caters to your taste.
Wormbrain responded on 24 Jul 2008 at 10:21 am #
I’m going to have to check out your server if you regularly call people “fucktard medics” and such.
Problem is, I usually play at 8pm EST (NY) and at that time there’s no other fucktards on your server for me to play with.
Gehn responded on 24 Jul 2008 at 11:15 pm #
I’ve been missing out on TF2 for almost a month. What’s this whole “crab spy” thing? The picture looks like it’s a spy with the disguise box out crouching and it makes him look weird or something?
Hmm…
derhimmelstoss responded on 25 Jul 2008 at 3:51 am #
Oy, Spooner. If you want to become the most hated ranter on ubercharged, you need to select an activity that a lot of people like doing and attack it (aka Crabwalking). And it should be about TF2, your taxi rant wasn’t offending enough =)
If I were to give a suggestion, i would probably write about all the folks who spam 1 voice command during setup (or worse, during a round): usually “Need a dispenser here!”, “Need a teleporter here!”, or “That ____ is a spy!”. Of course, i’ll let you be creative and come up with an idea on your own =)
General Balls responded on 25 Jul 2008 at 10:29 am #
Spamming “Spy!” during set-up is a sacred ritual.
Junior responded on 25 Jul 2008 at 8:07 pm #
The last time I played, we were treated to the enemy spy doing the crab dance to try and placate our wrath.
“I know that’s you, take off the disguise and do the dance!”
“OK OK, DON’T SHOOT, I’M DOING THE DANCE, PLEASE LET ME LIVE!”
As for the rant, each to their own, if a server bans me for picking pyro, I’m not going there again. Different people want different things for their TF2, and gladly, most of us can find what we’re after.
Anony1200 responded on 28 Jul 2008 at 8:58 am #
“You never know, with some hard work, you might just get yourself an achievement or two.”
You might also win King of the World award and the Lego Sentry free.
The thing is,you have to go so far out of your way to get the Medic achievments,that the only way to do it without an achiement server is for you and your patients to be complete idiots.At least it’s not as bad for Pyro.
3del! responded on 31 Jul 2008 at 9:18 pm #
I was recently permabanned for using the grenadelauncher instead of the stickybombs on a heavy while i recieved an ubercharge from an admin. i was unable to concentrate because he was yelling at me to use the stickys and therefore had to kill the heavy with my bottle after i only hit him twice with the grens… even though both of us did survive he banned me. he didn’t even tell me what he wanted me to do before ubercharging me… “USE THE STICKYS IDIOT” was what he repeatedly screamed whilst the charge.
actually i don’t care. just wanted to share this.
Arsenal IV responded on 16 Aug 2008 at 12:01 am #
Spy Crab taste great with Charbroiled Medic.
Celtic responded on 24 Aug 2008 at 1:02 am #
Actually, the guy who posted this rant is exactly the type of guy I don’t want on my team. Asshole with an overinflated ego and sense of self worth.
Chels responded on 03 Sep 2008 at 10:16 am #
Sanns - doesn’t sound too terrible, just a little extreme. I think I’d be happy if more admin banned for sexual harrassment. Note to the asshole guys (You know who you are): Even if there is only one girl on your server, we’re not interested. STFU.
Also, crab spy still makes me laugh.
TF Zoo:The Spy | ubercharged.net responded on 12 Nov 2008 at 11:37 pm #
[...] know what you’re thinking,and no.Instead,I went with something more practical.Something that fit the theme of the [...]