I appreciate these guys making my morning train commute a little more bearable for a couple of trips a week. TF2 talk on my iPod makes ignoring the sweaty guy that didn’t have a shower next to me that much easier (Australian summer is harsh like that).
Well… Well… Well… What do we have here.
Here’s just a tidbit of what you can expect:
Quasimodox has been embracing the emerging TF2 arts and crafts cottage industry, and produced this amazing little Pyro candle holder.
Check out the attention to detail on this thing. Even the details on the gun and the back-pack tank are exact. Man, I’m impressed!
Pyro is finally completed! Pheew~ he was more complicated than Alyx and Lamarr combined. There were a lot of sanding, trimming and gluing. I am quite satisfied with how it turns out. All that works totally paid off!
Now I can enjoy a romantic night with my wife under Pyro’s beautiful candle light… hmm… that’s twisted.. XD
Seriously, if he started selling these things I’d snap one up ASAP to put in my living room
HeadStrikeR has put together a polished little number touring through the best maps (standard and custom) for Team Fortress 2.
There is excellently edited fly-thrus with some nice medic action slipped in there was well (yay - finally an ownage video about my fave class!)
I made another little movie about the Medic traveling through the most beautiful places in Team Fortress 2, sit back and relax. I can not say much about this movie, you just need to watch it and feel it As always feedback is welcome, tell me your likes and dislikes, this will help me for future projects! This movie is for entertainment and for all players!
WARNING: You MUST like chilly trance music to fully enjoy this movie!
-= The grand journey of the Medic =-
HeadStrikeR also produced the excellent How To Play Medic tutorial video posted a while back.
If you’ve been following the intertronweb gaming news scene for the last few weeks, you wouldn’t have missed the Mass Effect controversy. First Kevin McCullough lit the fuse, then our friends over at Fox News put the boot in. As a result of that, a bunch of angry gamers laid down the cyberhate on the Amazon book review page of the “psychologist” Fox trotted out to tear down the game. Now even Loading.Ready.Run is getting in on the act. It’s all been a kick ass internet circus as good as they come.
Not being one to shy away from the controversy, Ubercharged.net is here to ask the hard questions. Namely - “How do we get a piece of all this?”. The answer is simple: We need to join the conservative, anti-game bandwagon - for fun and for profit. As TF2 is the game we all know and love, it seems like a pretty good place to start misrepresenting and twisting the truth.
Valve Wants to Eat Your Children
I’ll come right out and say this. The sole reason TF2 exists is to consume your children’s soul as part of some perverted satanistic hate sex murder ritual initiated by Valve software. While fraternization with the dark lord and fornicating in his name might be considered “hip” online amongst the tubes of the internet, we’re not so keen on it. And we think that YOU the parents have a right to know.
Satan, TF2, And Your Children
Team Fortress 2 makes no secret of its Satan loving ways. Players engage in bizarre rituals before starting a game to help them achieve success. Earlier, soldier and demolition players would engage in ritual self sacrifice to help their voodoo doctor class obtain an all important “ubercharge” - a paganistic plot device that gives the user invulnerability at the cost of their immortal soul and place next to our father. To valves credit, the required ritual self-sacrificing is no longer required as part of the game, but the supernatural “ubercharging” remains.
More worrying though, is TF2’s obsession with worship of fire - in particular many players enjoy welding flames and engaging in a primitive tribal dance. This seems to be especially common after killing an enemy, perhaps as some kind of dark offering to their dark lord of evil.
We have obtained this in game footage of such an activity taking place. Be warned, this is not for the faint of heart!
TF2 Fascism
The game itself is made up of a number of “classes”, each designed to pervert morality in its own sick way. Note the use of the word “class” - this is to appeal to children of school age (a “class” is where formerly education loving school children spend their day). This evil play on words subliminally teaches children that its OK to skip school and play games - this only lays the foundation for the further twisting of their innocence that is to come.
But encouraging children to reject the current social order is only the first step. The more sinister goal is to enslave them in the anachronistic feudal “class” hierarchy still in place in primitive countries such as Europe. Our forefathers fled the tyranny of the King of Europe decades ago to build a better life in the new world. Our people narrowly escaped being sent to forced labor camps where we would have been had to etch out a living by shining shoes and sweeping chimneys. Our research shows that little has changed in Europe over the last few years - in fact since the new King Hitler came to power last year, things are currently much worse.
Yet this class system is the same one Valve is trying to push onto our children. They are trying to force the idea into their fragile minds that they are nothing more than a working class slave with the self-styled aristocrats at Valve as their upper-class masters. The visuals in TF2 reinforce this world view. In the game, players spend hour upon hour facing the bleak industrial landscapes that they will be forced to inhabit in Valves dystopian view of future. This desensitization process is designed to disempower and belittle the next generation so they can be easily twisted to Valve’s will.
Actual in game screenshot:
TF2 Hate
The society Valve would engineer off TF2’s back is a hate filled place. Each player is forced to take on the role of a hated ethnic minority, and institute genocidal ethnic cleansing against rival ethnic groups. The “choice” (if it can be called that), will disfigure even the most upstanding youth into a seething pool of rage and hatred of society:
A mute gimp of ambiguous nationality, gender, and sexual orientation
A chain-smoking, Frenchman who is so disfigured he is forced to hide his face in public
A hideously obese Russian
A growth impaired imp with a foul mouth
A one eyed, black, Scottish, cyclops
A Nazi death camp doctor
An Australian
At the start of each game, players compete with each other to rape and murder innocent women and children living within their rivals territory. Then “humiliation time” kicks in, when players engage in perverted, animalistic activities with the corpses of their fallen foes. The game then restarts and players mindlessly repeat the process over and over as if they were some kind of Pavlov dog, desensitized and numb to it all acting on primitive, uncontrolled urges.
TF2 Sexual Perversion
If hate and violence was all Team Fortress 2 was peddling, we could live with that. After all, hate and violence carried us through two world wars, and built us into a strong, proud society suspicious of foreigners and anyone different. Even fascism isn’t so bad (at least when compared to those damn commies). I’ll even grant that Satan was in the bible, so thats kind of OK.
But sex? How can we possibly let THAT hideous subject be in such a game children have access to. It is a fact that any child can steal their parents credit card, buy TF2 from Valve over the internet, secretly download it via the Steam tubes, and play out of sight on their personal bedroom computers without once having their age verified. This is atrocious. A parent should not feel like they are forced to “babysit”, and supervise what goes on in their child’s life constantly. Yet Valve forces this through their irresponsible business practices of marketing and selling the game to minors pretending to be older than they are.
But lets walk through the twisted perversions your children will experience in this game
Every game begins in a functional, male only change room. The very first thing children are exposed to when playing this game is a place where grown adults could potentially be naked.
Customizable groin thrusting animations viewable from 360 degrees. Some involving various objects which could be used as sex toys.
Obese Russian men having intimate sexual relations with heavy weaponry.
Latex fetishes.
“Freeze Cam” mode zeros in on the face of other players at the point of climax, and pauses the action to allow players a better view of who is molesting them.
Players encourage to act as stalkers, wearing masks, creeping up behind others, stabbing them and then committing indecent acts - possibly while wearing a cross-dressing disguise.
Drunken, burly, black, Scotsmen threatening players with forced sodomy.
Australians.
It gets far, far worse. But it sickens me to discuss it, let alone think about the sexually perverted contents of this vile game. Do not allow your children, parents, brothers, sisters, friends, dogs, or co-workers access to this game if you want to protect them from becoming salivating, hairy-palmed, sex-obsessed, deranged, panting, fiendish, sickos.
We must act now, before it is too late!
This is your call to action. The only way to stop this hatred is make our voice heard! This man is the one responsible for this evil - the one who must be held to account for the evil Valve is pushing onto the world with reckless disregard:
Gabe Newell. Chief hate monger, and corrupter of innocence at Valve software.
Email your local political representative today demanding an official inquisition into Valve’s dealings, and life imprisonment for anyone associated with the company!
Together we can counter this dark shadow threatening our society, our way of life, our children.
Unlike many posed screenshots from Valve games, eonix’s “Team Fortress 2 From a Different Perspective” does not rely on Garry’s Mod–all of the images are straight-up TF2, with a bit of depth of field added. All credit goes to eonix’s superb composition and the outstanding work by Valve’s art team.
Murdoc has been totally kick ass, and has uncovered Valve’s dirty little secret - the medic achievements are already on your PC, hiding in plain sight. He emailed me earlier in the week, then I was slack, and didn’t post it, then he bugged me again, and it all works out
Just stumbled upon some amazing info!
I was poking around in the Valve Hammer Editor in the Source SDK (i was thinking of trying to make a level) and i found all the logos for the new medic achievements!
to find them, open the Hammer level editor (its under tools in steam), fo “File”, then “New”. on the right hand side is a box with a brick texture in it. click “Browse” the you will see a load of textures. type “achievement” in the “Filter” box at the bottom, you will see all the current logos, and some from one of the Half life games, along with all the new medic ones! click on the individual logos to see the file name at the bottom of the screen, this gives a clue to what will have to be done to get each achievement. Most are fairly self explanatory.
Please tell the world! I was so excited to find this!
Just did a quick print screen and crop on the medic achievement pictures.
they all have pretty much the same file name that valve gave them, so a little open to interpretation of the details.
i have not assumed anything.
If you want to access the image files directly, you can use GCFScape, and extract them manually if you want.
A lot of these seem pretty self explanatory from their name and icon. But there are some obscure ones in the mix as well (heal grind? wtf?).
The word is that the new achievements coming out initially for medic, and later for the other classes as well, will be used to unlock new game features. I’m still not sold on the idea. I like to be able to play the game out of the box as is, with only player skill determining who can do what, not how long they have been on the achievement treadmill for. 10 bonesaw hits? Save falling teammates? Syringe a scout? This stuff sounds a little silly. Sure, let the kids brag that they got the achievement by giving them a novelty hat or pet or something cosmetic like that which doesn’t affect gameplay. But having to do this stuff in order to unlock game features sounds like a pain.
It’s early days, though. So I guess we’ve got a long way to see how these things work when fully flexed out.
So here they are
The icons are already there. I wonder if the code is already written and deployed awaiting some flag in a patch to activate it?
The SA forum kiddies have been goofing off again, and have come up with a bunch of alternative achievements for TF2.
I think Valve should sit up, take notice, and build some of these into the next patch.
The always kick-ass Elvis! linked another video demonstrating the grace and beauty those crazy young men with their flying… stickies. Now improved with alcohol!
There is a lot of sniper pummeling in this vid. I’m all for anything that messes up a snipers day. I think snipers are quickly becoming my MHC (most hated class).
The vid was posted up on the tube of you by HobosRust
Tom Francis from PC Gamer has had a session at Valve peeking at the new medic achievements:
The first Medic unlock, for example, is called the Overhealer. Instead of temporarily buffing people’s health to 50% above their normal maximum, it permanently boosts them to double their standard health. The downside is that it’ll be dramatically worse at building Ubercharge - in fact, Valve are toying with not letting it Uber at all.
No details on what the second unlock they’ll be rolling out in this update will be, beyond the basics: it’ll be another Medic healing ray, and it’ll change the way the class plays all over again. The first is earned by acquiring half of the thirty-five new Medic achievements, the second for acquiring them all.
And some details on the new map mode:
The new game mode is showcased in Goldrush - the map that will ship alongside cp_badlands in a little over a month from now. One team must escort a small mining cart through a series of Dustbowl-like map segments. The cart moves faster the more Blue players are near it, but stops entirely if even one Red player is in range. Blue have to escort the cart all the way to Red’s headquarters within a certain timelimit.
The variety in the new medic abilities sounds interesting. I’m not so sure about unlocking them via achievement though. That style of gameplay annoys me, and gives me bad WoW flashbacks of hours filled with mindless grinding to level up enough to go grind somewhere else. The thing I like about TF2 now, is that anyone can play the whole game out of the box without having to worry about more experienced players having an even bigger advantage over them just because they’ve got more cool stuff.
